Wand of Quoitwil (5e Equipment)

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Wand, common

Wand of Qoitwil- Quoitwil is an amusing pastime among wizards. The mage uses fragments of spells and bits of other knowledge to make strange effects, much to the delight of their friends who do the same. The game typically involves spinning the wand in the middle of a circle of people. Whomever it lands on is the “Wand Master”. The Wand Master then waves the wand at a target of his choice, and hopes for the best. (Counterspell is often frowned upon in this game.) More experienced wizards look desperately for a “Wand of Wonder” to play “Professional Quoitwil”.

-When you wave this wand, roll a d100. On a roll of 25 or less, you target yourself. On a roll of 26 or higher, you target a willing creature within range.

-Roll another d100 or have your DM roll a d100. The roll then correlates with an effect on the Quoitwil Effects table which then takes place immediately after waving the wand targeting either yourself or a creature within 10ft. of you depending on the previous roll. All effects last for one minute unless stated otherwise.

-A creature can choose to make a DC25 Intelligence(Arcana) check after waving the wand but before anyone rolls on the Quoitwil Effects table. On a success, the holder can roll twice and use either result from the Quoitwil Effects table.


Quoitwil Effects

1-3: The target immediately belches, breaks wind, or otherwise emits an embarrassing gaffe.

4-6: The target begins to speak backwards

7-9: The target becomes semi-transparent.

10-12: The target cannot stop dancing until targeted by another effect from this wand.

13-15: The wand immediately puffs out a cloud of thick, black smoke into the face of the target.

16-18: The target begins to shiver vigorously even if they aren’t cold.

19-21: The target finds everything hilarious and cannot stop laughing though they still retain all faculties.

22-24: The target loses all sense of color and can only see in shades of grey until targeted by another effect from this wand.

25-27: Whenever the target speaks, only baby babble can be heard.

28-30: The target’s eyes constantly change the colors of the rainbow.

31-33: The target is covered with mustard which disappears after one minute.

34-36: The target is immediately covered with feathers. If they loudly bawk like a chicken three times, all the feathers explode out from them and vanish after coming into contact with anything.

37-39: A candle appears in the hand of the target who, over the course of one minute will eat said candle. The candle is not toxic nor filling.

40-42: The target drops anything they’re holding and cannot use their hands to pick up objects.

43-45: The target changes from man to woman or vice versa.

46-48: The target’s hair stands on end as far as it can outstretch until targeted by another effect from this wand.

49-51: The target slurs their speech until targeted by another effect from this wand.

52-54: The target’s mouth is filled with raisins for one minute. Attempting to spit out or remove the raisins does not work as new ones take their place. The ones spit out disappear after one minute.

55-57: The target loses all the hair on their body which grows back in over the course of one minute.

58-60: The target’s ears spit water until targeted by another effect from this wand.

61-63: The target acts like a puppy.

64-66: The target becomes very dizzy, and can’t stand up.

67-69: The target feels as if the need to desperately urinate until they are targeted by another effect from this wand. Attempting to go to the bathroom, yields no results.

70-72: The target immediately vomits a liquid with the color scheme of a rainbow. The liquid disappears after one minute.

73-75: The target cannot stop jumping until they are targeted by another effect from this wand.

76-78: The target’s mouth is full of honey. The honey does not impair breathing and can only be stopped if someone buzzes like a bee for ten seconds or they are targeted by another effect from this wand.

79-81: The target can only speak in questions until asked three questions from one person or until they are targeted by another effect from this wand.

82-84: The target must scream everything they say.

85-87: The target begins sweating profusely for one minute even if they aren’t hot.

88-90: The target begins to sprout mushrooms. Only by making a joke about fungus or mushrooms will the mushrooms go away. Or the target can wait until they are targeted by another effect from this wand.

91-93: The target smells like onions, and begins crying.

94-96: You may cast one Wizard cantrip that does not deal damage toward the target.

97-99: Roll again. Whatever affect you roll applies to both you and the target.

00: Roll twice on the table, applying both affects toward the target.


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