Tuna and Sweetcorn (5e Race)

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April Fools!
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Tuna and sweetcorn

"You wot Mate!? Buy me at a Tesco I dare ye!"
-One of the many preposterously nonsensical sentences uttered by a Tuna and Sweetcorn

Physical Description

Tuna and sweetcorn, on the verge of being perhaps a deific race, are beings of small-human-sized, sandwich-like visage. They appear to achieve locomotion through some sort of wobbling and sliding, along the base of their baguette-like bodies. Many of purer mind would regard these as true abominations, to animate what is essentially a poisoned tuna sandwich is a terrible plan, but, through luck or through deep evils, this race has achieved not only existence, but the ability to reproduce, through closely-guarded means. There appears to be no gender dimorphism - No Tuna and Sweetcorn seems to identify as 'male', or 'female', and there are no biological properties to indicate as such. Though it may not seem like it, the tuna and sweetcorn can extend its bready/tuna-y/sweetcorny self into two arms, that can indeed wield and act as any normal limbs.

tuna-sweetcorn-panini.main.jpg
A tuna and sweetcorn sandwich, courtesy of John West

History

Through some form of magically enhanced existence, the tuna and sweetcorn (or 'wiches', as some prefer to be called), are a relatively young race, with relatively odd approaches and ideas about the world.

Society

As a young race, tuna and sweetcorn are tentative and unsure with each other, on the whole. What relationships do exist, are very strange, secret and personal to each tuna and sweetcorn. Such relations border on the unknowable, and are very, very rare to be shared between tuna and sweetcorn and other races.

Tuna and Sweetcorn Names

Tuna and sweetcorn names are often based on their tuna-like 'contents', but the categories, and properties that determine the name, are again entirely unknown; Being chosen by the parents as per usual.

Male/Female/Other: John West, Skipjack, Asda Goya, Thunnini, Finn Blue, Pianer, Al Bacore

Tuna and Sweetcorn Traits

Tuna and sweetcorn, on the verge of being perhaps a deific race, are beings of small-human-sized, sandwich-like visage
Ability Score Increase. Your Charisma score increases by 2.
Age. Through magically altered rotting speed, it is usually 4-5 years before rot leads to death. Often more, if living in a cold climate.
Alignment. Tuna and sweetcorn are drawn to order and tradition. Most are lawful neutral.
Size. Tuna and sweetcorn rarely grow beyond a height of 2 feet. Your size is Small.
Speed. Your base 'walking' speed is 20 feet.
Darkvision. You can see in dim light within 60 feet of you as if it were bright light, and in darkness as if it were dim light. You can't discern color in darkness, only shades of gray.
Made with Mayo. A white, slippery, dairy-based substance seems to secrete from your body. You have advantage on any ability check or saving throw to avoid or escape being grappled. As an action, you may offer a willing adjacent creature a coating of mayo to share this benefit, but while coated the creature also has disadvantage on Charisma checks. This lasts for one hour, unless the mayo is otherwise cleaned off prematurely.
Crusty Defense. A tuna and sweetcorn's bready outer shell is tough and impenetrable. Your Armor Class can not be lower than 14.
Lucky Fishy. Tuna, being a brilliant foodstuff, brings inherent luck. When you roll a 1 on an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw, you can re-roll the die and must use the new roll.
Languages. You can read, write, and speak both Common and Elvish.


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