The Death Sandwich (5e Equipment)

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Wondrous item, legendary

Thousands of years ago, in the most ancient of dojos, the most delicious sandwich in the world entered our realm. The only problem is: if you eat it wrong....YOU DIE!

The Death Sandwich is one of the most potent and dangerous weapons found in the entire Material Plane. Just one bite is able to place its user in a state of never-ending pain that always ends in death. Because of its potency as a weapon, its recipe and creation was safeguarded by a group of ancient monks in a far-away dojo for thousands of years. This secrecy was broken by a man named Sensai, who took the recipe and mass-produced it for personal gain, leading to his exile from the dojo. Because Sensai indirectly murders hundreds of customers that fail to eat the sandwich properly, customers must sign a Waiver of Death so that he doesn't suffer the consequences from breaking the law.

The Death Sandwich.Source

Eating The Death Sandwich. Those that eat the death sandwich are treated to an indescribable taste. It is an incomprehensible deliciousness that cannot be put to words. However, those that taste The Death Sandwich are then treated to a suffering so large in magnitude that the delicious taste isn't worth it in the end. Immediately after taking a bite out of The Death Sandwich, the creature that bit The Death Sandwich suffers for six hours, gaining the following symptoms at the start of every hour:

  • Hour 1. The creature's face will turn green and they will begin to suffocate (This suffocation is magical and cannot cause the creature to fall unconscious or die).
  • Hour 2. The creature's face will have an intense and painful burning sensation starting from the mouth and spreading across the face.
  • Hour 3. The creature's intestines will melt away and leak out of the creature's body (creatures without intestines will gain them only to have it melt away).
  • Hour 4. The creature will lose their voice while screaming in pain.
  • Hour 5. The creature will regain their voice but only to cry out in ancient indecipherable dialects.
  • Hour 6. The creature will die.

Creatures that have a mullet AND are wearing jean shorts at the time of biting the sandwich do not receive these symptoms and are immune to any negative effect caused by eating The Death Sandwich. Besides the criteria mentioned above, there is no way to circumvent or remove the symptoms of The Death Sandwich. Additionally, The Death Sandwich and its symptoms are unaffected by all magic, including the wish spell.

The Sandwich of Life. Legend speaks of a powerful sandwich that can cure the ailments caused by The Death Sandwich. However, this sandwich is under the ownership of the dojo's master, the Grandmaster of Death-Kwon-Do. Unfortunately, this grandmaster is adamant about not letting anyone but the worthy cure their suffering with the Sandwich of Life. However, if one proves to be worthy in the eyes of the ancient dojo master, a creature that takes a bite out of the Sandwich of Life is cured of all symptoms that were caused by the Sandwich of Death. Additionally, they regain all their Hit Points, are cured of all conditions and diseases, and gain a level in one of their classes.

The Double-Death Sandwich. It is said that the master of the ancient dojo is also in possession of the only Double-Death Sandwich in history. It is indisputably the most powerful weapon ever created, guaranteed to kill any creature that takes a bite out of it. It is so powerful, in fact, that its creation altered the balance of the magical world and caused unspeakable horrors to ravage the Material Plane. Many monks, even those that work directly under the Double-Death Sandwich's creator, doubt its existence due to its sheer power. Any creature that takes a bite out of the Double-Death Sandwich is killed instantly. There is no way to prevent this death from happening and nothing can resurrect a creature that died in this way.

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