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Before I take some rest (long rest, to be precise, I have some spell slots to recover) here are some comments I would like to make:
- Typo? We had a chat, and I acknowledge it is a very difficult thing to do (even myself make many mistakes here and there) but one thing, one thing I'd like to point out is, I don't care much about typo, but more of inconsistencies. In short: A word X should be X, not X' or X" or whatever else. It must be just me, but it bothers me every time whenever I see words keep changing shapes and all. I'll be helping you with grammar parts and all, but this is my sincere advice to keep working on this part.
- Race Name. The current name sounds more like a scientific name than a "nickname", which is common in D&D races. For example, you don't call a human homo sapiens because that's the scientific name for humans, it becomes too cumbersome. I think you should come up with a neat name that can be more... generic and mundane than the current name. (Oh, and is it "Archania Humncinia" or "Arachnia Humancona"? This is the inconsistency problem I mentioned above.)
- Description. I see there are some strange distribution of details here and there. There are many things I'd like to point out, but for now, I'll just ask one question that bothers me somehow: Is the Spider King still here, or is he (it's a he, right?) away from the Material Planes and into Outer Planes like all other deities do? The current version kinda sounds like he is still among the spider-people.
"What I did not put in the background as i should he is still around but the spider king lives in his own part of the outer realm known as "the great throne room"- in guardian city the main temple has a portal that opens into this throne room were one can speak one on one with the this dieaty, at the same time that portal can be open by the king to say something to the citizens of guardian city, (i want to note here he can not enter this material plane but he still wants to help his people)
Additionally some lore i should put now that im thinking The SPIDER KING- is the ancient god of anti-heroes,spiders, death and power, if I barrow the Greek term the spider king, is a titan as in before the modern gods"
- Traits. So far the only trait is "Superior Darkvision", which is actually just normal darkvision, and nothing else. You can come up with hundreds of awesome and creative traits, so I'll just leave my comments whenever any progress is made. This is not exactly I'm supposed to do, to be fair.
hey can i get your opinion on this-BOTCH: at level 5 your experience and training in the field have allowed you to be able to make a temporary combat band aid for any steam machinery or siege weaponry. The D.M. must determine if the vehicle or siege craft is repairable. The gear sailor rolls a tinker check with their wisdom modifier added to the roll. Against a D.C. of what the d.m. determines on how bad the damage is to the vehicle or seige craft. On a 5 or less above the d.c. the gear sailor has made band aid on the machine that allows it to be operational for 1 minute, on a 6 to 10 the gear sailor has made a scrap band aid that lasts for 5 minutes on a 11 to 15 the gear sailor has made a scrap band aid that last 10 minutes ,on a 16 to 20 the gear sailor has made a band aid that allows the vehicle or seige weapon to be operational for as long as the GEAR sailor would like or until it said object gets damaged again. The G.S. must have a set of tinkers tool on him and it takes one full uninterrupted minute to do this. ReddtheRage (talk) 08:54, 30 July 2017 (MDT)