Goblin Romancist (5e Creature)

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Goblin Romancist[edit]

Small humanoid (goblinoid), any chaotic alignment

Armor Class 16 (studded leather)
Hit Points 54 (12d6 + 12)
Speed 30 ft.

9 (-1) 18 (+4) 12 (+1) 13 (+1) 11 (+0) 16 (+3)

Saving Throws Dex +8, Cha +7
Skills Acrobatics +8, History +5, Insight +4, Performance +7, Stealth +12
Proficiency Bonus +4
Senses darkvision 60 ft., passive Perception 10
Languages Common, Goblin, any one language (usually Elvish)
Challenge 9 (5,000 XP)

Evasion. When the goblin is subjected to an effect that allows it to make a Dexterity saving throw to take only half damage, it instead takes no damage if it succeeds on the saving throw, and only half damage if it fails.

Femme Fatale/Homme Fatal. Whenever the goblin makes a Charisma check when interacting with humanoids of opposite gender, it gains a +4 bonus to the check if its proficiency bonus is applied to the check.

Fancy Footwork. When the goblin makes a melee attack against a creature during its turn, that creature cannot make opportunity attacks against the goblin for the rest of its turn.

Toujours l'Audace. Once per turn, when the goblin hits a creature with a melee weapon attack against a creature that has no other creatures adjacent to it, it deals an extra 17 (5d6) damage against the target. The attack must use a finesse weapon.


Multiattack. The goblin makes two attacks with its rapier.

Rapier. Melee Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 8 (1d8 + 4) piercing damage.


Nimble Escape. The goblin takes the Disengage or Hide action.


Parry. The goblin adds 4 to its AC against one melee attack that would hit it. To do so, the goblin must see the attacker and be wielding a melee weapon. If the attack misses, the goblin can use its Riposte as a part of the same reaction.

Riposte (3/Short or Long Rest). Immediately after a creature misses the goblin with a melee attack, the goblin makes one melee weapon attack against the creature.

As if getting mugged by goblin lowwaymen was not absurd enough, some of the very few, needlessly gifted goblins get some even funnier ideas from the knight romance stories they claimed from some nobleman's carriage. Flabbergasted and awestruck by the over-the-top, cheesier-than-a-dairy-farm protagonists of the many stories (especially those called as picaresque, maybe because of their rebellious nature), these romanticists decided to dress up in all black, complete with those masks that does not function as a mask at all, and stroll around the nightscape, often plundering those who they find "evil" enough to stay in their way. Think of a cosplayer with self-taught swordmanship, half the size, and no sense of personal space.
Since only the smartest of the goblins actually get such weird delusions, some of these helpless romanticists even overcome their innate brutality with sheer willpower, with a help from another series to read and some extracts from leaves and mushrooms that keeps them giggling with joy for a while. It would be a great honor for them if they find out that somewhere in the multiverse, their story is one of the recent bestsellers among knight romance enthusiasts—the story of a goblin, who awakened the conscience and honor, ever struggling between their chivalric aspiration and destructive nature.

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