Epic Sword of Badassitude (3.5e Equipment)
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Epic Sword of Badassitude: The Epic Sword of Badassitude is a conscious (though not intelligent) weapon that was crafted by the blacksmith Ulrik the lesser, who dissatisfied with his dead end job as a blacksmith, and dreaming of leaving his sad state and getting an exciting life as a farmer, crafted this sword to please his king, so that he might be given his own land to farm. Unfortunately, he paid very little attention to the crafting, and his grand expectations for the world were infused with the sword, and it turned out to be a preety bad sword. He lost it when he went to deliver it to a goblin, who went on to not only rule his tribe, but killed 3 dragons. Although the dragons have reappeared no one doubts this for a minute. This Perfectly wrought sword seems to be balanced to have no meaningful weight, it appears to be a Longsword +13 (impossible yes, but that is what it seems to be). The consciousness in the sword is a powerful magic based on human emotion and hubris, it really, really likes compliments, feel free to increase the state of it's appearance or give it another random bonus if the sword is complimented in a unique and meaningful way. In reality it is a badly made, misweighted lump of heavy iron. So strong is it's illusion enchantment that it seems to be a weak one, anytime there is a comma on the items description it indicates the first the fake part, then the actual. The first time an individual sees the sword they must take a DC 25 will save, if they pass they see the sword as nothing more, if they take a closer look they take another will save DC 20, as the sword tries to fool them. If you fail either save, you will forever more think the sword is the most amazing weapon ever made, on close inspection it seems to deal 1d8+7+2d6 fire damage, and upon a critical hit (16-20/x3) a pair of ghostly lions fly out of the hilt and deliver a massive roaring sound that deals the target 2d10 sonic damage. In reality the "sword" counts as a club, and has no other effect. Targets who Fail their will saves will "actually die" when struck by the sword, then after the wielder leaves a 2 mile radius, will wake up, perfectly fine (and they will convinced it is a miracle). This item's curse is that the illusions that occupy it's form are severly dangerous, and unstable, if a person states that the sword is not what it seems to be, the sword will choose to explode in a shatter of iron rather than live with the insult it has taken, this counts as a maximized, widened 7th level fireball.
Strong, weak Evocation, illusion;CL 0; must have lived a long, hard and tireless life, must be very distracted during the crafting process, you also must fail the crafting test by at least 10 points, or roll a 1 whichever happens first.; Cost To craft must have spent at least 3,000 xp in crafting items of one type, it then costs 105 gp, and 5 XP; Weight: 0 lbs, 20 lbs lb.