Deck of Plenty (5e Equipment)
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Wondrous Item, legendary
A deck of 54 cards with amazing magical properties for every card, however there are a great number of harmful cards that can cause you very great distress, as well as cards that could grant you your greatest wishes. Draw at your own risk.
Cards reappear after 1d6 year(s).
Choose a card from a real deck and match it with the appropriate card here.
Ace- You get a spade (A shovel)
2- You are spayed (neutered)
3- You learn the cantrip Magic Manure, which grows trees in 10 seconds.
4- You change genders.
5- You know the location of a powerful artifact.
6- The card turns into a finger and attaches itself to the hand holding the card. You now have 11 fingers.
7- You are dropped to 1 Hit point or buffed to Max hit points at your max level. (1d2)
8- A zombie appears with a shovel, it attacks you with it dealing 1d6 bludgeoning damage.
9- You can grow wings at will that will look however you want.
10-You are permanently affected by the Jump spell.
Jack- You can summon at will a Prostitute who appears out of thin air and doesn’t charge you.
Queen- You now have a fervent desire to kill/kidnap a queen.
King- You now have a fervent desire to kill/kidnap a king.
Ace- You fall in love with money
2- You fall in love with the nearest person of the opposite gender.
3- You fall in love with love, everything you do is about love for some reason.
4- You get a love potion
5- You get 2x Cupid’s arrows
6- You get 2x Lover’s ring (when worn it tells you if the other wearer is alive)
7- You can choose to change one part your physical appearance for example, you can now have that six pack you know you’ll never have otherwise.
8- You become unrealistically unattractive.
9- You become unrealistically attractive.
10- If you are not married, you are now married to whoever you fancy and they love you. If you are already married, you now have 1d20 kids waiting at home with your (new) wife.
Jack- Your heart permanently doubles its pace.
Queen- You fall in love with the next entity you are sexually attracted too that you see.
King- You desire to become a king
Ace - You gain free access to any and all clubs.
2- You are unknowingly recruited to a secret organization.
3- You can now read and write all languages you know backwards.
4- A giant 4-leaf clover (10ft) grows out of the ground and then falls towards you.
5- A secret organization hates you for some reason and will try to kill you.
6- You get the word “A$$HOLE” permanently tattooed to your face. It magically appears to be written in every other language to anyone who can read said languages. (-2 Charisma when visible)
7- Next time you are in a main city a courier will approach you and give you a will making you the Lord of a castle nearby.
8- You become the leader of the Illuminati and gain the knowledge of one.
9- Everyone is absurdly sexually attracted to you
10- You get a personal Ecdysiast
Jack- A band of bandits kidnaps a King.
Queen- You can now use the spell Disguise Self as a cantrip.
King- You are banned from all nobility functions for something you did when you were young.
Ace- You are transported to Neptune for 1 minute where it rains Diamonds.
2- The card morphs into you, giving you a tattoo of the thing you dislike the most.
3- The card morphs into you, giving you a tattoo of the thing you like the most.
4- You can cast find path at will, summons 2 hostile imps
5- The card becomes sentient and wraps around your finger turning into a ring of Bureaucratic Wizardry
6- The card morphs into the Breastplate of Unparalleled Protection 
7- The card morphs into a gem worth 500gp that can be returned to you at will. Can not be used as a spell component.
8- No apparent effect,next time you are alone a God contacts you and offers you an artifact in exchange for your services
9- You can now speak a strange language no one has heard of
10-No apparent effect, next time you are on your own a demon contacts you and offers a 5-step pact.
Jack- You contract vampirism.
Queen- You contract Lycanthropy.
King- 52,000,000 cards spew everywhere one of them has the Wish spell.
Stared Joker- You gain the ability to cast a random spell at will twice a day. Every time you attempt to cast this spell roll 1d6 to determine which spell happens. 1- Disintegrate 2- Heal 3- True Resurrection 4- Power Word Kill 5 - True Polymorph 6- Animal Shape
Normal Joker- If you are a chaotic alignment you can use the wish spell once at will, if neutral there is no effect, if lawful you are cursed with disadvantage on every role, only removable by a god or the wish spell.
Note: This item is not an april fools item.
Deck Of Plenty