Dandwiki (5e Race)
From D&D Wiki
Picture the most perfect humanoid possible. That's you.
Dandwikis hail from Playtestia, a land of balance and fair competition.
Your kind pride themselves on being the best at everything, but are also humble enough to allow others to succeed and feel better about themselves when they feel they need it most. Dandwikis seldom travel alone; they need witnesses to their marvelous acts of legend, after all.
Dandwiki Racial Traits
A race of perfectly normal, well-balanced, not-at-all overtuned humanoids.
Ability Score Increase. Your Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, and Charisma scores are increased by 4, and their maximum is unlimited instead of 20. You instinctively look down on those who rely on the last two ability scores whose names you can't seem to remember.
Age. You performed your own Caesarian with your chiseled jaw or cheekbones (your choice), and have since been too terrifying for avatars of death to pursue. You do not age past 24 years, and cannot die from old age even by magical means.
Alignment. Your bursting attractiveness allows you to transcend the concept of morality. You are hot, as far as anyone is concerned.
Size. You're the same size as a human, because that's creative writing. Your size is Medium.
Speed. The earth itself bends to shorten your travels. Your base walking speed is 90 feet. Additionally, you cannot be slowed down by difficult terrain.
Playtested Senses. You have blindsight and truesight with a range of 1 mile. Your vision cannot be hindered by fog or darkness, magical or otherwise. You are also immune to the blinded and deafened conditions.
Jeans Proficiency. You are proficient in jeans. Jeans count as heavy armor for you, and grant you an AC of 24 plus your Charisma modifier.
Balanced Gaze. You can use a bonus action to shoot steel-cutting beams of laser out of your eyes and sweep them over a 90-foot cone. Each creature in that area must make a DC 32 Dexterity saving throw, taking 20d10 radiant damage on a failed save, or half as much on a successful one. If this damage reduces a creature to 0 hit points, it dies, and then it explodes behind you. Each creature (except you) within 20 feet of the explosion must make a DC 32 Dexterity saving throw, taking 8d6 fire damage on a failed save, or half as much on a successful one.
Errata Presence. Whenever a creature attempts to impose the charmed or frightened condition on you, it must make the saving throw in your place. On a failure, it becomes affected, instead. This bypasses immunities to the charmed or frightened conditions.
Perfectly Tuned. Whenever you would be reduced to 0 hit points or outright killed, you can speak a condescending phrase that instills doubt in the minds of your enemies, such as "You sure about that?" and "... or do I?" (no action required). When you do, you recover all your hit points.
Heroic. You can use a bonus action to pat a creature within 5 feet of you on its back. The creature regains all of its hit points, and must make a DC 32 Wisdom saving throw. On a failure, the creature must include its gratitude to you whenever it speaks for the next 30 days.
Power Nap. You are far too preoccupied with adding to your list of conquests to waste your days sleeping. You can spend an action to take a long rest, instead of 8 hours.
Normal Toughness. Your kind are known to weather the harshest conditions to carve a name for themselves in the annals of history. Whenever you gain a level, you instead add 20 plus your Constitution modifier to your maximum hit points, instead of rolling.
Average Wink. You automatically succeed on Deception and Persuasion checks. Additionally, you are perpetually under the effects of the glibness spell.
Jury-Rigger. Your kind are accustomed to relying on magical McGuffins they cannot comprehend. You can attune to a magic item as an action. You can also attune to an unlimited number of magic items, you cannot be restricted from attuning to a magic item for any reason, and are immune to curses. When you attune to a sentient magic item, it is charmed by you and cannot cause you harm until you are no longer attuned to it.
Languages. You can read, write, and speak Common. If you use vague hand gestures while speaking Common, any creature can understand you, regardless of its spoken languages.