Grand Piano (3.5e Equipment)

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Grand Piano
Exotic Two-Handed
Critical: x2
Range Increment: 20
Type: Bludgeoning
Hardness: 5
Size Cost1 Damage Weight1 hp
Fine 125 1d4 16 3
Diminutive 250 1d6 37 6
Tiny 500 1d8 75 12
Small 1000 1d10 150 25
Medium 1000 3d6 300 50
Large 2000 6d6 600 100
Huge 4000 10d6 1200 200
Gargantuan 8000 18d6 2400 400
Colossal 16000 32d6 4800 800
  1. The SRD only gives a means to determine costs and weights of weapons for Large and Small versions based on the Medium weapons. Any other supplied values are the author's best determination.

Who in their right mind would use a Grand Piano as a weapon!?

Well someone has. A normal Grand Piano for a human is actually the Large version of the weapon. Therefore to use a piano of their size, a medium creature needs to use the large version, with the appropriate penalties involved. A smaller, halfling sized piano (a medium Grand Piano), may be used, but even then the user takes a -2 to attack due to the sheer weight and bulk of it all. This stacks of non-proficiency and all other penalties. It is swung around by one of the legs, which swivels and locks to the side to make a handle for this massive bludgeoning device. Toggling between weapon and instrument is a move action which provokes attacks of opportunity.

The Grand Piano is made largely of wood with ivory keys and can be used as both a weapon and a masterwork instrument, giving +2 to perform checks (+1 for every point of enchantment bonus applied). A piano of the incorrect size to play (a medium creature with a medium instead of large piano) has their perform bonus 1 less per size category off.

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