Deluded "Noble" (5e Background)

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Deluded "Noble"[edit]

You are an errant noble born to rule one day in a far-off land no-one's never heard of… or so you say. You will rattle off a list of ancestors with exceptionally long names dating back to a great ruler of ancient times that no-one seems to remember. You will tell people how you once led the defence of a city with only an umbrella and a bucket of milk. Your costume is bizarre and outlandish, yet you will give a detailed and lengthy history of every detail, down to the fourth pom-pom. Your speech is so grandiose that you cannot speak a single sentence without at least one exclamation mark.

It’s hard for others to judge whether you are trying to run a con, or just truly insane enough to believe you are a noble (and more likely, the latter), but it’s certainly hard for anyone to believe that you are, much to your chagrin. Yet for all the tall tales and delusions of grandeur, there is something your companions find… quaint and reassuring about this over-confident, flamboyant individual with an ego the size of the moon, fearing nothing and prideful of your “leadership skills” and “devotion to the lesser folk”.

If you’ve ever considered Emperor Norton, Baron Munchausen or Seven Samurai's Kikuchiyo and wished you had the audacity to prance around with the same absurd grandeur and self-importance, you may now have your chance. Who knows, perhaps your ridiculous claim of noble birth may even turn out to be correct?

Skill Proficiencies: Performance, Persuasion

Languages: One language of your choice (possibly even a constructed language of a fictional country-of-origin)

Tools: disguise kit or forgery kit

Equipment: A damaged shield with a fake/stolen heraldic device or a fake scroll of pedigree, a poorly-fitting set of fine clothes or costume, a disguise kit or forgery kit and a purse containing 10 gp

Feature: You Must Refer to Me by My Complete Title[edit]

While true nobles will look down on your claims of aristocracy and scoff, the common folk will view your quirky claims of nobility with a degree of affection. Even for those who disbelieve your noble claims entirely, the novelty and ridiculousness of the situation will lead many to humour you. Perhaps they see in you a joke at the expense of their overlords, or maybe as a commoner like them with great aspirations, but either way your presence will be oddly appreciated. Good-natured commoners will often address you with your grandiose styles, and may even offer you better food and hospitality at a lower price. Even if only for the sake of continuing what is to them an elaborate prank, or maybe to have a story to tell their friends at the inn, your bizarre mannerisms will endear you enough to common folk that you may sometimes receive an inkling of the noble treatment you so ardently think you deserve.

Suggested Characteristics[edit]

d8 Personality Trait
1 If you told me that a strange concoction which resembled pigswill was a delicacy reserved only for the highborn, I would certainly try it on principle!
2 I certainly do not make up the most flubtastical words to confundle people with my highborn languagerising!
3 Do you have an hour to hear another tale of my marvellous travels and campaigns?!
4 Naturally, everybody adores and respects me as the great noble I am!
5 I secretly partake in an embarrassing, peasant-ish hobby most unbefitting of a noble!
6 If any object to my garb, I will launch into a thirty-minute tirade about the traditional wear of my land!
7 I demand food and hospitality no less than fitting for one of my stature!
8 I issue hand-written bank notes and letters of patent to anyone who does me the slightest favour!
d6 Ideal
1 Liberation. Noble titles for everyone! Each shall be an independent vassal under me, with no loyalty to anyone else but themselves! (Chaotic)
2 Recognition. I do not wish for anything more than to be acknowledged as the graceful noble that I am! (Neutral)
3 Authority. As the wisest philosopher-ruler who ever graced the earth, who would not want me to govern them?! (Lawful)
4 Power. All shall serve me as I deserve, and should they not do so willingly, I shall make them! (Evil)
5 Benevolence. It is my noble duty to protect the downtrodden and oppressed from all manners of vile creatures – especially peacocks, vicious beasts! (Good)
6 Heroism. For all my many marvellous and brave exploits, I seek one that will truly make me exceptional in my bloodline! (Any)
d6 Bond
1 I must find and recover my most trusted advisor before I take my place as leader amongst my people! Oh, did I mention that they are a very large duck?!
2 ‘twould not be right for me to go take up my rightful place without finding a suitable spouse to rule at my side!
3 I must take vengeance on the deadly platypus which viciously attacked my family!
4 If only the common people would love me as the benevolent guide and wise leader that I am!
5 My noble house has been a friend and ally of a ruler of this land for exactly 4,397 years, and I will continue to honour our allegiance!
6 I have a secret lovechild with a family member of my arch-nemesis (who may or may not secretly be a dragon), and I must find and rescue them at all costs!
d8 Flaw
1 I believe sheep make far wiser counsellors than even the wisest of men!
2 I am overly generous with all wealth (even wealth that isn’t mine)!
3 What do you mean “it is too dangerous”?! There is no risk too great for me!
4 If someone insists that I am not truly a noble, I will probably burst into tears if I cannot get them to desist!
5 I will pass swift and often thoughtless judgment on any who dares to insult me!
6 Being as I am a noble, my life is too valuable to not flee in the face of peril!
7 I once mistook a friend for a dinosaur and stabbed them! And I am not proud of it!
8 I am terribly offended when people do not recognise me as they should!
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