Create Rodeo Clown Barrel (3.5e Spell)

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Create Rodeo Clown Barrel
Evocation [Creates a semi mobile low obstacle to use as cover]
Level: Brd 1, Sor/Wiz 1
Components: S, F
Casting time: 1 standard action
Range: Adjacent Square
Area: 1 Square
Duration: Permanent
Saving Throw: No
Spell Resistance: No

This spell creates a padded rodeo clown barrel that is the perfect height for the caster to use as cover while firing projectile weapons as it counts as a low obstacle (PHB v.3.5 p151). The barrel’s diameter is wide enough to occupy 1 square. The caster cannot be effectively engaged in melee while the barrel is between the caster and the attacker with anything shorter than pole arms that threaten beyond 10 feet.

If the caster is free to move around the barrel the attacker must win an opposing dex check against the caster to force melee combat. Otherwise, all that is accomplished is a rather comical chase around the barrel. Attempting to grab the barrel and remove it only forces the same opposing dex check so long as the caster can touch the barrel. If the attacker then wins a str check they may rip the barrel from the caster and use it themselves or toss it out of the way.

Charging at the barrel can force an opposing str check if the caster fails a dex check or chooses to push back but even if successful all that is accomplished is to move the barrel (and caster if she hangs on to it) with no damage. Charging at the barrel also provokes an attack of opportunity. If the caster succeeds the dex check against the charge she can simply move the barrel to a square the attacker isn’t occupying.

Failing a dex check means the attacker is allowed to make a melee attack on their next attack. Dancing around the barrel takes time. Every attempt to force melee combat consumes as much time as an attack would have.

Ducking down behind the barrel provides total cover. Jumping inside the barrel and ducking down provides total cover for 360 degrees. It also reduces movement to ¼.

The barrel is just a non-magical barrel but is fairly difficult to destroy. It has an AC of 10 and 100 hit points. What it weighs depends on the casters carrying capacity. The barrel is never so heavy that the caster can’t move it.

The most effective way to move the barrel is to tip it and roll on edge. Using this method the caster can move the barrel and themselves from place to place at ½ their normal movement rate. If the caster has a movement of 30 then the barrel and caster together have a movement of 15. Any movement not used to move either the barrel or caster can be used to move the other. Thus the caster can choose to move 14 squares so that the barrel can be moved 16 squares. The barrel must remain adjacent to the caster or it has been left behind.

The barrel can be moved at full movement rate if tipped on its side and rolled. However, when moving this way no turning is allowed and stopping at the end consumes one square. So if the caster has a movement of 30 and wishes to stop at the end of a straight shot she can only go 29 squares.

Focus: A bung. Yes, for the bung hole. Yeah, I said bung hole. Stop laughing damn it.

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