Bob Saget (3.5e Creature)

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April Fools!
This content is not designed for use in regular games, and may affect overall balance and gameplay. Take caution when using this material.
Size/Type: Medium Human
Hit Dice: 4d10+5 (25 hp)
Initiative: +7
Speed: 20 ft.
Armor Class: 11, touch 11, flat-footed 11
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/+2
Attack: Heavy Mace +1 (1d8)
Full Attack: Heavy Mace +1 (1d8)
Space/Reach: 5ft/5ft
Special Attacks: Bad Joke, Full House
Special Qualities: Immunity to fire, cold, and knowing when to stop making bad jokes. Can call others of its kind at will.
Saves: Fort -1, Ref +5, Will +15
Abilities: Str 8, Dex 12, Con 8, Int 10, Wis 6, Cha 16
Skills: Perform (comedy) +15, Intimidate +4
Feats: Combat Reflexes, Chaotic Mind
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary, Band (5), Gang (15), Army (20d20), Species (5,000d20)
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: 2d20gp, Saget Locket, Sapphire cufflinks, scripts to episodes of Full House
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Level Adjustment:

Bob Sagets are notorious for telling bad jokes and rambling on about nothing at all. Upon seeing one, adventurers are advised to stay away, since one will keep calling for more of its kind until you are overwhelmed by thousands of them. Legends say that an ancient deity known as Tourettes Guy could call Bob Sagets by name in order to absorb their life force. Other legends contradict this, saying that he could merely force them back into their home plane by shouting their name. Whether one or the other is true, Bob Sagets still hate and fear the name of Tourettes Guy.

Bob Sagets appear human, but then again, so did Hitler. If you can't beat one with one hit before it calls more of its kind, then don't attack at all.


Will call to summon more of its kind once engaged, which appear seemingly out of nowhere. They favor telling their bad jokes, stunning their opponent until they are close enough to attack with maces. Also will use their full house, a summoning ability that calls up two twin girls and one snobby brat, as well as a hobo that will come to live in your basement.

Bad Joke

A bad joke that stuns the subject speechless for one full minute of pondering the meaning of their lives unless they make a will save of DC 13.

Full House

Does absolutely nothing but annoy the player, really. Especially the freeloading hobo in your basement.

That's My Name

Goes into a rage lasting 1d4 turns. Only usable if Tourettes Guy was mentioned last turn.

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