Monkey Grip (3.5e Tome Feat)
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Monkey Grip [Combat]
Maybe you're inspired by Diablo II barbarians, or teens with pointy blue hair, or both. Maybe you want to throw boulders and crumpled chunks of metal like the Hulk, or knock a hill giant's teeth in with an oak tree. Or maybe you just want to play with Mjolnir. Whatever. To you, size matters. People who disagree, or still have the cheek to snark about Cloud Strife after 15 freaking years, get over it, can say so under the business end of your thousand-pound greataxe.
Benefits: This is a combat feat that scales with your Base Attack Bonus.
- +0: You may wield an object as a weapon one size category larger than yourself as a two-handed weapon, and a weapon of your size may be wielded in one hand—instead of your size = two-handed, and one size below = one handed. This feat doesn't change what is considered a light weapon for you, or make it any easier to conceal weapons or whatever (so no drawing a greatsword from your sleeve and slitting sleeping throats).
- You are also considered proficient with improvised weapons, and thrown improvised weapons have a range increment of 20' (increases by 10' every 5 BAB). With improvised weapons only, you can wield them one size higher than you could with actual weapons (2 sizes larger than yourself in two hands, 1 size larger in one), and throwing the largest object you can is a standard action instead of a full-round action (and you can gain iterative attacks if you full attack; wrenching off chunks of stone wall or uprooting trees is just part of the attack action).
- +1: You can wield objects as weapons up to your medium load in weight, rather than only up to your light load.
- +6: Any magic weapons you wield are considered to have the sizing property, they dealt damage as if where one size category larger.
- Your carrying capacity is doubled.
- +9: When you Power Attack for at least three fourths of your BAB, and you attack with the biggest (doesn't have to be heaviest) weapon you can in two hands, the base damage die is mulitplied by 1.5. This only works with weapons you are proficient with.
- You can use objects as weapons up to your maximum load in weight, rather than only up to your medium load.
- +12: You may wield a weapon two sizes larger than yourself as a two-handed weapon, and a weapon one size larger than yourself may be wielded single-handedly. Your allowed improvised weapons are likewise increased (+3 size categories in two hands, +2 size categories in one).
- Improvised weapons you wield score a threat on an 18-20 and deal x3 damage on a successful critical hit, but only if they are objects of at least one size category larger than yourself.
- Your carrying capacity is tripled.
(The following is incomplete. Feel free to make suggestions on the talk page for crazy epic things this should let you do.)
Epic Monkey Grip [Combat, Epic]
Your cutlery (or stabblery, or choplery, or smashlery) makes pointy-haired teens and Diablo II barbarians feel small in the trunks. You can eventually dual-wield Statues of Liberty or full attack with Jupiter's moons like silver-age Supes could if he were cool.
Prerequisites: Monkey Grip
Benefits: This is an epic combat feat that scales with your Base Attack Bonus.
- +0: You are never penalized for wielding extremely heavy weapons; no weapon you wield counts towards your carrying capacity. Just holding or having them sheathed, though, still counts towards how much you can carry. The weapon(s) weight must still be equal or below your maximum load.
(Yes, you can now poke with a trident so huge and weighty that it'd normally be a a heavy load in one hand, another one just like it in the other, and be dragging around a heavy load in elephants on your back or something. Have fun.)
- All thrown objects you wield are treated as having the keen (or impact if it's bludgeoning) and distance weapon properties (stacks with any pre-existing distance property, tripling its range rather than doubling). Improvised weapons you wield only have the keen or impact property.
- +21: When you shift all of your BAB to Power Attack, and you attack with the biggest weapon you can in two hands, the base damage die is quadrupled. If you do so with the second-biggest you can in one or both hands (or one in each hand), the base damage die is tripled. If you only PA for at least half your BAB but not your full, weapons deal triple/double damage die.
- +26: You may wield a weapon three sizes larger than yourself as a two-handed weapon, and a weapon two sizes larger may be wielded single-handedly. Every 10 BAB above this you may wield it one more size higher (e.g. at BAB 46, a Colossal creature can swing-batter an object about 2000-4000' long, or dual-wield two objects about 1000'-2000' long each).
- Your carrying capacity is quadrupled.
- +31: ? (needs something pretty awesome for a third-place capstone, something you can imagine Hercules doing)
- You only need to Power Attack for at least half your BAB to do quadruple/triple damage with massive weapons. Less than this and you triple/double.
- +36: ? (needs something pretty awesome for second-place, something you can imagine Ares doing)
- Your carrying capacity is multiplied by your divine rank, or multiplied by five (whichever is higher).
- +41: ? (needs something totally awesome for the capstone, something you can imagine Atlas doing)
- You no longer need to Power Attack to do quadruple/triple damage with massive weapons; they always do this damage in your hands.