Logos (3.5e Creature)

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April Fools!
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No, it's not finished, and it never will. It doesn't need to be finished.


Logos
71,928th-lvl Fighter
Hepdadecaduad
Size/Type: Yotta-Small Outsider (Extraplanar)
Hit Dice: 71928d1000 +16584870528 +14400x11874725579980800 x2374945115996160 (406106229927128000000000000000000000 hp); infinite hit points
Initiative: ? (+230576 Dex, +14400 divine, +8 Sup Init); always first
Speed: Superluminal
Armor Class: ? (-302231454903657000000000 size, +230576 Dex, +230576 deflection, +14400 divine), touch , flat-footed - (tenth sense) ; can never be hit
Base Attack/Grapple: +71928/+86708
Attack: 14385 unarmed strikes +OMG melee touch [never misses] (googolplex^googolplex^googolplex + googolplex^googolplex^googolplex /yes/ x googolplex^googolplex^googolplex)
Full Attack: 57540 unarmed strikes
Space/Reach: Bigger than ur mum x ∞
Special Attacks: Alter reality, divine aura (37676987768133200000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000')
Special Qualities: Cosmic consciousness, cosmic firmament modifier +11874725579980800, damage reduction 51281714900681800000000/-, infinite fast healing, regeneration 25640857450340900000000, spell reflection +ScrewYou, transcendental traits, +30690 virtual size categories
Saves: Fort +316904, Ref +316904, Will +316904; never fails saving throws
Abilities: Str 461162 (+230576), Dex 461162 (+230576), Con 461162 (+230576), Int 461162 (+230576), Wis 461162 (+230576), Cha 461162 (+230576); infinite ability scores
Skills: Omnicompetent - all skills +TEXAS plus key ability modifier; infinite skill checks
Skill Tricks: All dem
Feats: 29935 feat slots left; Empower Spell, Heighten Spell, Improved Unarmed Strike, Superior Unarmed Strike
Epic Feats: Automatic Metamagic Capacity (x30000), Metamagic Freedom, Sixth Sense
Divine Abilities: 470 divine ability slots left; Adjuration (x100), Anyfeat (x8), Apocrypha, Bludgeoning Deficiency, Bludgeoning Depreciation, Bludgeoning Displacement, Cunning Body, Cunning Mind, Cunning Soul, Cunning Spirit, Divine Immensity (x20), Divine Sneak Attack, Enlarge Aura (x500), Eternal Freedom, Goetic Blood, Gravitas, Heavenly Body, Heavenly Mind, Heavenly Soul, Heavenly Spirit, Intellectual Body, Intellectual Mind, Intellectual Soul, Intellectual Spirit, Nescience, Obviate, Perfect Aura, Perfect Disarm, Perfect Initiative, Perfect Sneak Attack, Perfect Sunder, Perfect Trip, Perfect Weapon Focus (Unarmed Strike), Perfect Weapon Specialization (Unarmed Strike), Postcognition, Precognition, Profane Body, Profane Mind, Profane Soul, Profane Spirit, Regeneration, Sacred Body, Sacred Mind, Sacred Soul, Sacred Spirit, Savior, Self-Hypnosis, Seventh Sense, Shadow Self (x100), Shapechange, Silver Tongue, Superior Sneak Attack (x3), Sure-Footed, Sure-Handed, Sweat-Born, Telelocation, Telluric Effect, Theopoea, Third Eye, Threatening Critical, True Seeing, True Strike (Unarmed Strike), Uncanny Cleave, Uncanny Weapon Focus (Unarmed Strike), Uncanny Weapon Specialization (Unarmed Strike), Uncanny Whirlwind Attack, Uncanny Wind Mastery, Unknowing Body, Unknowing Mind, Unknowing Spirit, Unyielding Damage Reduction, Vanguard Fortitude, Vanguard Reflexes, Vanguard Will, X-Ray Vision
Cosmic Abilities: Abrogate, Apostasy, Authority, Cogency, Counter-Strike, Cursed Body, Cursed Mind, Cursed Soul, Daunting Body, Daunting Mind, Daunting Soul, Divine Inspiration (x5), Divine Nescience, Eighth Sense, Elusion, Enlightened, Ensorcelled, Excellent Fortitude, Excellent Reflexes, Excellent Will, Exclusivity, Great Breath, Innocense, Legendary Constitution, Nullification, Oblique Strike, Perfect Critical (Unarmed Strike), Perfect Critical Multiplier (Unarmed Strike), Perfect Smiting, Pugnacious, Time Dilation (x50), Uncanny Gravitic Mastery, Underhanded, Unearthly Weapon Focus (Unarmed Strike), Unearthly Weapon Specialization (Unarmed Strike)
Transcendental Abilities: Cosmic Nescience, Dead Zone, Divine Nullification, Invincibility, Ninth Sense, Paradox, Perfect Defense, Sophism, Transattack Period, Transilient Fortitude, Transilient Reflexes, Transilient Will, Transmute, Transpersonal, Transversal, Ultimate Combat Expertise, Ultimate Power Attack, Ultimate Weapon Focus (Unarmed Strike), Ultimate Weapon Specialization (Unarmed Strike), Uncanny Astro Mastery
Omnific Abilities: Absolute, Cosmic Nullification, Indissoluble, Infinite Charisma, Infinite Constitution, Infinite Intelligence, Infinite Strength, Infinite Wisdom, Inifnite Dexterity, Learned Opponent Immunity, Oblivion, Interdimensional, Omnidimensional, Omniparity, Omnipersonal, Omnispective, Omniversal, Tenth Sense, Transcendental Inspiration (x3), Transcendental Nescience, Uncanny Akashic Mastery, Undimensional
Metempiric Abilities: Omnific Inspiration (x2), Omnific Nescience, Perfect Dominance, Transcendental Nullification
Environment: Does not exist
Organization: Unique
Challenge Rating: 95904
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Beyond alignment
Advancement: You kidding?
Level Adjustment: +72000 (143928 ECL worth of equipment yet to be spent)
The face of Logos.

It's a glowing naked person as big as a galactic supercluster. It swings a fist, and the universe explodes. Holy tuna bunwiches.

Finally, someone who can beat up silver-age Superman.

Combat[edit]

Unless your name be Mortiverse, you lose.

Attacks[edit]

Alter Reality (Su): As a free action once a round, Logos may duplicate any spell up to 30009th level. It may also duplicate any epic spell no matter its Spellcraft DC.
Divine Aura (Su): Anyone in the emanation DIES. INSTANTLY. KABLOOEY.

Qualities[edit]

Regeneration (Ex): All damage is nonlethal. Can only be permanently killed when dealt 406106229927128000000000000000000010 damage and then a wish or miracle heightened to 14401st-lvl is needed to keep him dead. And then he rejuvenates instantly because your divine rank is lower than his.
Transcendental Traits (Ex): Logos is effectively a heptadecaduad and thus gains a +14400 divine bonus on all die rolls.

Other[edit]

Divine/Cosmic/Transcendental/Omnific/Metempiric Abilities (Var.): No, I'm not retyping the entire Immortal's Handbook.



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