Jester Jokes (DnD Other)
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[edit] Jester Jokes
Have you ever needed a joke to add flavor you a court jester, street performer, amusing child or eccentric fellow. Here shall be a place to find them. Feel free to add your own.
- Joke 1
Q: What kind of monster brings you chocolates and flowers before it eats you?
A: A Romanticore.
- Joke 2
Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in front of a door?
A: Matt
- Joke 3
Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake?
A: Bob
- Joke 4
Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting in a hole?
A: Phil
- Joke 5
Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?
A: Art
- Joke 6
Q: Why do dwarves have such big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.
- Joke 7
A horse walks into a bar and yells "Hey!".
- Joke 8
Three dragons walk into a bar... there were no survivors.
- Joke 9
2 humans walk into a bar, the halfling walks under it.
- Joke 10
An Ogre walks into a bar with flint and steel. The bartender lets him in but says, "Don't start anything".
- Joke 11
Q: What is iritating, doesn't go away, and makes you miserable?
A: A lich (play on itch)
[edit] Bad Jokes
For the jesters that aren't really that funny.
- Bad Joke 1
A barbarian, a rogue and a wizard are sitting in a sinking boat. The rogue is hiding so the barbarian throws the wizard overboard.
- Bad joke 2
A barbarian, a rogue and a wizard is sitting in a sinking boat. The rogue is hiding and the wizard teleports away, so the barbarian jumps overboard himself.
- Bad joke 3
A group of adventurers is trying to extract information from a farmer. They finally give up and begin to walk away. Suddenly the wizard says, "I bet the pig could tell us what we need to know". The rogue then says, "Yea, I bet the barbarian could talk to it also. they have the same inteligence
- Bad Joke 4
Half the orcs in my town are in prison. As for the other half, just give them some time.
- Bad Joke 5
Your mother is so...
- Bad Joke 6
What's the difference between a zombie and a politician? One is a brainless, useless waste of space, and the other one is a zombie.
- Bad Joke 7
An adventurer walks in to a crowded tavern to gather information. When he sits down at his table, a fat woman opposite says, "You know, if you were a gentleman, you'd stand up and let someone else sit down." The adventurer responds with, "If you were a lady, you'd stand up and let four people sit down."
- Bad Joke 8
"Mommy, why are we pushing the carriage off the cliff?"
"Be quiet, you'll wake your father."
- Bad Joke 9
What is the easiest way to kill two dragons? Throw a platinum piece in between them and watch them fight to the death.
- Bad Joke 10
A barmaiden is good for 71 things: Cooking, Catering, and 69.
- Bad Joke 11
Q: Why did the goblin cross the road?
A: He didn't, he only got halfway before the dwarves tagged him
- Bad Joke 12
Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Getting attacked by a red dragon.
- Bad Joke 13
Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding a wyrm in your apple.
- Bad Joke 14
Q: Why did the child drop his lollypop?
A: Because he was hit by a carriage.
[edit] Pickup Lines
Because hey, it happens a lot in bars.
- Pickup Line 1
"Is that a rod of lordly might in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
- Pickup Line 2
"Maybe it's just your charm spell, but your hotness is overcoming my fire resistance."
- Pickup Line 3
"Are you a wizard? Because I was just enchanted"
- Pickup Line 4
"Is that your new spell, Stunning Jugs, or is it all natural?"
- Pickup Line 5
"Do you want to find out how to soften my Immovable Rod?"
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