Jester Jokes (DnD Other)

From D&D Wiki

Jump to: navigation, search

Jester Jokes[edit]

Have you ever needed a joke to add flavor you a court jester, street performer, amusing child or eccentric fellow. Here shall be a place to find them. Feel free to add your own.

Joke 1

Q: What kind of monster brings you chocolates and flowers before it eats you?

A: A Romanticore.

Joke 2

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in front of a door?

A: Matt

Joke 3

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake?

A: Bob

Joke 4

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting in a hole?

A: Phil

Joke 5

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?

A: Art

Joke 6

Q: Why do dwarves have such big nostrils?

A: Because they have big fingers.

Joke 7

A horse walks into a bar and yells "Hey!".

Joke 8

Three dragons walk into a bar... there were no survivors.

Joke 9

2 humans walk into a bar, the halfling walks under it.

Joke 10

An Ogre walks into a bar with flint and steel. The bartender lets him in but says, "Don't start anything".

Joke 11

Q: What is iritating, doesn't go away, and makes you miserable?

A: A lich (play on itch)

Joke 12

Q: why did the cockatrice cross the road?

A: someone ate the chicken.

Bad Jokes[edit]

For the jesters that aren't really that funny.

Bad Joke 1

A barbarian, a rogue and a wizard are sitting in a sinking boat. The rogue is hiding so the barbarian throws the wizard overboard.

Bad joke 2

A barbarian, a rogue and a wizard is sitting in a sinking boat. The rogue is hiding and the wizard teleports away, so the barbarian jumps overboard himself.

Bad joke 3

A group of adventurers is trying to extract information from a farmer. They finally give up and begin to walk away. Suddenly the wizard says, "I bet the pig could tell us what we need to know". The rogue then says, "Yea, I bet the barbarian could talk to it also. they have the same inteligence

Bad Joke 4

Half the orcs in my town are in prison. As for the other half, just give them some time.

Bad Joke 5

Your mother is so-so.

Bad Joke 6

What's the difference between a zombie and a politician? One is a brainless, useless waste of space, and the other one is a zombie.

Bad Joke 7

An adventurer walks in to a crowded tavern to gather information. When he sits down at his table, a fat woman opposite says, "You know, if you were a gentleman, you'd stand up and let someone else sit down." The adventurer responds with, "If you were a lady, you'd stand up and let four people sit down."

Bad Joke 8

"Mommy, why are we pushing the carriage off the cliff?"

"Be quiet, you'll wake your father."

Bad Joke 9

What is the easiest way to kill two dragons? Throw a platinum piece in between them and watch them fight to the death.

Bad Joke 10

A barmaiden is good for 71 things: Cooking, Catering, and 69.

Bad Joke 11

Q: Why did the goblin cross the road?

A: He didn't, he only got halfway before the dwarves tagged him

Bad Joke 12

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

A: Getting attacked by a red dragon.

Bad Joke 13

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

A: Finding a wyrm in your apple.

Bad Joke 14

Q: Why did the child drop his lollypop?

A: Because he was hit by a carriage.

Bad Joke 15
 Two dwarves walk out of a pub.

Pickup Lines[edit]

Because hey, it happens a lot in bars.

Pickup Line 1

"Is that a rod of lordly might in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

Pickup Line 2

"Maybe it's just your charm spell, but your hotness is overcoming my fire resistance."

Pickup Line 3

"Are you a wizard? Because I was just enchanted"

Pickup Line 4

"Is that your new spell, Stunning Jugs, or is it all natural?"

Pickup Line 5

"Do you want to find out how to soften my Immovable Rod?"

Pickup Line 6

"Do you wanna see MY Lance of Faith?"



Back to Main Page3.5e HomebrewOther Back to Main Page4e HomebrewOther

Personal tools
d20M
miscellaneous
admin area
Terms and Conditions for Non-Human Visitors