Grog of Susbtantial Whimsy (3.5e Equipment)

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Grog of Substantial Whimsy[edit]

Brewed from the talents of the finest senile wizards, the magic of chaotic absurdity now comes to the player at such a low price! It's mainly a tool used for adding quirks and perks to give the player's characters a little more character!

The goal was to make magical effects that neither help or improve the Character, nor majorly stunt the player's ability to play.

Market Price: 30 gp

Each grog can at max have 4 effects. If the Character gets the same effect, the effect is canceled. Character cannot have the same effect twice in each individual grog.

Grog of Substantial Whimsy
D% Effects
1 Character suddenly remembers that they've been lying about who they are the whole time, and are actually someone else entirely.
2 Character can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
3 Character can Wish the death of one being, but will also die.
4 Character can access their brain by unscrewing the top of their skull.
5 Character's mouth lets out light, illuminating 5 ft. in front of the Character whenever it's open.
6 Character is unknowingly inducted into a secret society.
7 Character can speak with domestic fowl, but they tend to lie to them.
8 Character sees dead people who bother them a lot.
9 Character’s party learns the 5 minute ritual to summon the character. (Just a pentagram, nothing fancy)
10 Roll again, effect behaves like an STI.
11 Character can summon a demon, but only has a 10% chance of controlling it.
12 Character can resurrect once per year.
13 Character forgets how to read and write. But will also be able to cast read magic at will.
14 Character becomes a dragon in a human form with the same stats as they had before, but has forgotten how to polymorph.
15 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as fast, twice as much, etc.)
16 Character can concentrate to have background music play for them. (DC 15) concentration, 1d20 rounds.
17 Character thinks magic is actually impossible, and won't accept it. Refers to it as "witchcraft" and "nonsense"
18 Character loses 1d2 feet in height, their clothes & armor amazingly still fit.
19 Character is now much more comfortable around the (un)dead than the living.
20 Any casted magic that affects the Character causes them to be soaked in lamp oil.
21 The next sword that hits the Character receives a permanent +1 bonus.
22 Character can no longer kill anything.
23 Character’s middle name becomes “Wonder Noodle” and must always say their full name when asked.
24 When Character is angry, their hair erupts into a cold flame.
25 Character gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
26 Can exist comfortably in harsh environments for 10 minutes/day
27 Every week, the Character must sacrifice an enemy or gain a -1 penalty to all ability scores and saves, increasing by 1 every day that an enemy isn't sacrificed. A special sacrificial dagger appears in the Character's inventory and cannot be used for anything but a killing blow. It is also bound to the Character.
28 At the start of every encounter the Character must succeed a DC 10 Will save or roll for a new alignment.
29 Character’s organs will never fail, even if removed.
30 Roll again, the next living thing the Character touches also receives the effect.
31 Character's dream semi-manifest in reality. (Like warped trees, or obscurely built buildings. At DMs discretion)
32 Character gains Thaumaphilia, an intense fascination with magic.
33 Flowers grow out of the spots where the Character walks.
34 Character seemingly ‘walks on air’ and is permanently 5 inches above all solid surfaces.
35 Character becomes pregnant. Does not matter what sex, if any, the Character is. 01-49% = boy, 50-98% girl, 99-100% other. Will be a clone of the Character & a normal nine month pregnancy. Morning sickness & severe mood swings apply as DM sees fit.
36 One of the Character's permanent effects or injuries are cured! If they don't have one, re-roll for one.
37 Character's bones turn to wood, and can live off sunlight. When they go up an age group, they go up a size category as well as receiving the penalties of aging.
38 Character can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
39 Can Rage 1/day (effect does not stack, roll again). Character turns green and extremely muscle-y. Character will rip through their armour making it worthless unless they get it repaired.
40 Character’s body becomes an orangutan. (no stat change)
41 Character forgets a random language.
42 Character realizes the meaning of life, but is unable to tell anyone else. They are also hunted by cults (and maybe gods) so that they won't even have the knowledge, or might have it extracted out of them.
43 Character sprouts a tree on their head. Extends lifespan x5000. Tree will grow until too heavy for person, enveloping them and taking root. Person will become immobile tree. Retains personality and speech.
44 Lung capacity enlarges harmlessly. Can hold breath for 20 minutes.
45 Roll for new god.
46 Character thinks "They" are after him. Whoever "They" are.
47 Character's face has the same properties as catnip. (A cat allergy may be included at DMs discretion)
48 Arcane markings (Explosive Runes) appear on skin permanently, cannot be removed even if the skin is.
49 Character falls madly in love with random party member. DC 25 to get over themselves, can only make save 1/month.
50 Roll twice more times on this marvelous table, and all effects affect the entire party.
51 Character becomes aware of how to process opiates and meth.
52 Character's stomach now functions similarly to a bag of holding.
53 When the Character is asleep, their consciousness leaves their body in the shape of their favourite mundane animal to fuddle about.
54 Character's shadow does not do the same thing as the Character. It is the same size, and does not leave no matter what time of day.
55 Character is haunted by nightmares of a lost island that holds extraordinarily improbable animals.
56 Colourful bubbles come out of the Character's mouth instead of words, but the words come out of the bubbles when they pop. Cannot cast spells with verbal components.
57 Character's gender switches at night. Were-gender.
58 If the Character punches an ally, they forget who the Character is.
59 Character switches ears with the next race they come into contact with. (Ears will shrink/grow proportionally for all involved)
60 Any casted magic that affects the Character causes a wild surge.
61 Character can easily climb trees like a cat, or a monkey.
62 Character develops Thaumaphobia, an intense fear of magic.
63 Wave of force emits from Character, 1d4 damage in cone in direction Character faces.
64 Character's age fluctuates ± 20 years each day.
65 Character's breath is a light flurry of snow.
66 Character cannot exit through the same way they entered.
67 Character can cast a random cantrip level spell at will.
68 Character lays an egg (regardless of gender). (What kind is DMs choice.)
69 Character no longer gives off any indication that they are alive (or undead). Is not detected by detect life or detect undead.
70 Character gains a random language.
71 If the Character hears their name, they petrify for 2d4 rounds.
72 Character's presence causes holy symbols to glow red. Including mundane ones.
73 When the Character is teleported, they cannot take any gear (clothing and equipment) with them.
74 Character gains one time use of spell equal to Cha modifier. (Use modifier for DC)
75 Character gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
76 Fireflies swarm the Character at night, and does not gain bonus for hiding in darkness. (No penalties either)
77 Character cannot enter a room without announcing their presence
78 Character can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
79 Character becomes soluble in rainfall. (Drinking liquids is harmless)
80 Character now owes their life to someone who won’t be born for centuries.
81 Character sprouts a 3 ft prehensile monkey tail.
82 Character perform any action without announcing their name.
83 Character does not age while asleep. Increase life span by 1/3.
84 Character teleports 1 mile; stone replica appears in his place.
85 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as long, twice as much, etc.)
86 Character's clothes change randomly when attacked. (Armour is not affected)
87 Character's breath becomes combustible.
88 Last creature killed by Character is reanimated, and hunts the Character.
89 Character becomes aware that at death, they are resurrected with opposite alignment.
90 Character becomes very talented at making whittled spoons.
91 Character realizes that the universe was born in a huge explosion. Is allowed to start religion.
92 Character can juggle anything they can lift.
93 Character becomes addicted to casting the last spell they casted, and really enjoys casting it whenever they get the chance, or an excuse.
94 Character cannot enter a building without being invited.
95 Deludes Character into believing the grog functions as indicated by a second die roll (no save).
96 Character no longer has muscles. (But can do everything without them.)
97 Everyday when the Character enters combat, Character's sweat becomes a minor water elemental. 3d6 rounds, 50% chance of being hostile. Dissipates at midnight.
98 Any liquid consumed now produces the effect of the grog to the Character.
99 Character explodes and dies, bwahahahaha. Will negates. (DC 10)
100 Roll three more times on this marvelous table, and take all the effects.
101 Character teleports to where they had visited 24 hours ago.
102 Character's touch brings wilting flowers back to life.
103 Character can cast Detect Stupid at will. (doing so might only detect the Character)
104 Character can become a mount.
105 Character becomes a dehydrated water salesmen. (just add water!) (3 sp per can)
106 Character grows cat ears, and gains a dislike of water. Character also likes fish.
107 Whenever the Character is struck with magic, the surrounding 50 ft area shifts as though it were the opposite time of day. (actual time does not change)
108 Character can expel bodily gasses as a free action from the pores of their skin, and conceal themselves within their 5 ft. square. No effect on any adjacent squares.
109 Character can explode at will, reducing HP to 0. Explosion deals 1 point of damage per hit point in a 20 ft. area. Each time reduces max HP by 2 and disintegrates any non magical possessions including armour and weapons.
110 Roll again, effect can be brewed into a magical potion. (Ingredients are DMs choice)
111 Moonlight makes the character look like a decomposing corpse.
112 Character's sneeze is now a gust of wind.
113 To Character, "Something pulls at your heart strings, you feel as though you need to give the next person you see all of your money."
114 Character's next temporary effect (other than the grog) becomes permanent (and cannot be removed).
115 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as fast, twice as much, etc.)
116 Character sprouts a singing venus fly trap on their shoulder that sings when the Character is happy.
117 Casting spells now will always cause a wild surge.
118 Character gains a valve that has a coin slot attached to it. The Character can insert the valve anywhere, deposit the number of gp for a grog, and it will dispense it!
119 Doors that the Character opens sigh.
120 Whenever the Character is affected by any sort of magic, the fabled land-shark learns their current location.
121 Character gains memories of a past life of an insanely powerful epic wizard. Specifically when that epic wizard went to the future to (kill, maim, higher, talk to, have fun with, give an item to, warn, perform an action around, or spite) his future life (the Character) the next day.
122 A women walks up to the Character, and proclaims that she is the Character's wife (regardless of gender). (Children at DM's discretion.)
123 Whenever the Character sings, a wave expels out and fills the immediate 10 ft area with blossoming flowers, regardless of the Character's singing ability.
124 Character agrees with everything, even if it doesn't make sense, or is contradictory. Character’s personal beliefs are unaffected.
125 Character gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
126 The Character slowly, painlessly, and inconveniently turns to stone from the fingers and toes inwards. 1 limb per minute turn to stone. Can be removed by a remove curse. (Or reversed with a stone to flesh.)
127 The Character suddenly becomes aware of a nearby dragon treasure horde, the only problem is that the dragon knows that the Character knows.
128 Character gains once per day use of spell equal to Cha modifier. (Use modifier for DC)
129 Character gains another personality that presents itself when the Character sleeps. (roll for alignment of other personality.)
130 Roll again, the next living thing the Character touches also receives the effect.
131 Character becomes a were-unicorn.
132 Character grows a beard, 2 ft long, permanent. If it's removed in anyway, it grows back overnight.
133 Character naturally attracts bears, 60% chance of being friendly, but will not fight for him.
134 Character attracts floating animated hands. (Tend to steal possessions and hold them)
135 Character gains a halo, and will be revealed with a detect good spell, regardless of alignment or true nature.
136 Character attracts the undead and it's necromancers, friendly or not. (Usually not)
137 Character becomes animated. (Takes damage normally)
138 Character gains reoccurring amnesia for 1d6 hours at the same time each day as the time when the grog was consumed.
139 Character realizes the exact location of a particular flower that becomes the Character's newest obsession. (The flower can be magical or not.)
140 Character’s body becomes an ostrich. (no stat change, can manipulate things with feathers)
141 Character becomes a rock and roll enthusiast, and always tries to get the nearest bard to play Freebird.
142 Character becomes a hermaphroditic version of their race. (if already so, re-roll.)
143 Whenever the Character is alone, they painfully transform into an strange bird-like thing. The Character instantaneously reverts to normal if another person or creature goes near them or sees them.
144 Character won't stop talking about the old days during the war. "You don't know man, you weren't there." "This reminds me of that one time, back in Nam..."
145 Character now worships a Norse god.
146 Character's mouth becomes a set of 4 tentacles 2 ft long.
147 Character has an intense need to narrate his actions/feelings and surroundings.
148 Character can communicate feelings through physical contact.
149 Character becomes a compulsive skinny dipper. Any water they swim in is treated as holy. (or evil, depending on alignment)
150 Roll twice more on this marvelous table, and all effects affect the entire party.
151 Character becomes aware of a mundane object of his choice, and will only ever be comfortable with the object being around.
152 Whenever the Character falls more than 20 ft. they make a 6 foot whole in the ground in the shape of their body when they land. Falling damage applies normally.
153 Whenever the Character hears the laughter of children, they painfully transform into a troll, and revert when they’re struck.
154 Character knows the birthday of anyone they touch.
155 Character is haunted by the ghost of their childhood saber toothed walrus.
156 Roses replace the Character's hair. They grow at the normal rate of hair, and blossom when in season, giving the Character a temporary +1 to CHA.
157 Any fires set by the Character attract the undead like moths to a flame, whether they're friendly or not. (10% of being friendly)
158 Character grows a hairy tail, 3 ft long. Objects smaller than the Character’s hand can be stored in the tail.
159 Character appears to be an old black and white cartoon.
160 Any casted magic that affects the Character causes a wild surge.
161 Characters suffer from acute paranoia whenever they hear their name.
162 When Character strikes an enemy, they rotate 180 degrees, and are considered flatfooted the first time it happens.
163 Character finds a kitten in their pocket. The Character falls instantly in love with the kitten as though under a charm effect, no saves. Anyone who sees the kitten is distracted for 1d4 rounds, even if they've seen the kitten before. Afterwards, they make a DC 13 fortitude save or be distracted for another 1d4 rounds.
164 Character has eyes in the back of their head. Can only use one pair at a time.
165 Character apologizes profusely every time they attack and/or kill something. Will otherwise feel the same way about fighting as before the effect.
166 Character gains lycanthropy. (Were-wolf)
167 For the next 1d6 weeks, every time the Character removes any head gear, a large white rabbit appears from it. It is a normal rabbit. 01-50% Male, 51-100% Female. They will mate and produce offspring normally.
168 Character lays an egg (regardless of gender). (What kind is DMs choice.)
169 If the Character hears their name, they swap places with whoever said it.
170 Character gains a random language.
171 Character becomes severely prejudice against (DM's choice).
172 Everyone will only acknowledge the Character as a myth.
173 Character naturally attracts dire animals (DMs choice each time.) 50% of being friendly.
174 Character gains once per day use of a spell equal to Cha modifier. (Use modifier for DC)
175 Character gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
176 Character's mouth no longer opens when they talk, but words and sounds still come out as normal.
177 Character becomes addicted to the last substance they consumed before the grog.
178 Character can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
179 Character compulsively uses internet slangs regardless of situation. (Tea Bagging, Spawn Camping, H4X0Rz and the like)
180 Character realizes they’re an escaped slave who’s owner is tracking them.
181 Character becomes the last surviving member of an endangered species. (That strangely enough has the exact same characteristics as the race they were before the grog, other than appearance)
182 Character hears 1d4 voices in their head.
183 Character grows another set of arms.
184 Character loses their physical depth, and becomes 2 dimensional. Character's surface is always facing the observer (even if there are multiple ones). Cannot slip into cracks, and does not gain any bonuses. Whatever Character holds also becomes 2 dimensional.
185 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as long, twice as much, etc.)
186 A hat appears on the Character's head. If it is removed, another hat appears under it. There can never be a point where the Character is not wearing a hat. Each hat can be sold for 3 cp.
187 Character's finger nails dispense magical ink, and can be used to scribe spells with.
188 Roll 1d12, at that time of day, the Character emits a powerful beam of light that has no effect other than alerting absolutely everything that can see it to your presence at that moment.
189 Character gains a D20 of Destiny, which the Character can consult at-will in-game.
190 Character becomes very talented at tomfoolery.
191 Character learns recipe of random meal, gains the ingredients to prepare it, and will not be satisfied until they make the meal in a decent kitchen.
192 Character gains +30 to balance when they are completely naked. If touched with anything (including rain) the effect is negated.
193 Any object that's less than 1 pound within 10 ft of the Character begins to orbit around them. When the Character moves more than 10 ft away from the original spot of the object, they stop and return to where they were.
194 Character hiccups butterflies. 2d4 butterflies per round for 2d4 rounds when caught flatfooted (or surprised).
195 The Character’s feet cannot smell, and gets occasionally complimented for it regardless of the situation. NPCs are unaware of any compliments they give.
196 Character is able to kill stones with birds.
197 Any food the Character cooks is able to speak.
198 Any liquid consumed now produces the effect of the grog to the Character.
199 Character's brain is bombarded by stupidity. Intelligence save DC 10 or the Character's head explodes. (If Character survives, they can tell terrible jokes as a swift action, and causes sentient creatures to make a DC 17 will save or be stuck 1d4/level rounds pondering how dumb it is. Creatures are considered staggered.)
200 Roll three more times on this marvelous table, and take all the effects.
201 Everytime Character snaps their fingers, a biscuit appears before them. It's a normal biscuit. Max 1d4/lvl biscuits per day.
202 Character grows an afro that can be used as a backpack.
203 Character cannot become non-magically dirty.
204 Character's presence boils any kind of eggs if within 30 ft, no matter what. (stay away from hens)
205 Character's hands and forearms are immune to acid.
206 Character can make a DC 23 will save to grow mustache out of sheer force of will.
207 Character's neck, arms, and legs become incorporeal, but their head, hands, feet and body do not.
208 Roll for new alignment.
209 Character no longer has weight. Automatically fails bull rush and trip saves. Is otherwise unaffected. (i.e. falling damage, load carried.)
210 Roll again, effect can be synthesized into a poison. (Ingredients are DMs choice)
211 Next profanity used by Character becomes a living, vile entity.
212 Character believes anything shiny can be used as money.
213 Character's skull becomes diamond. (does not affect their ability to live or grow)
214 Character is allergic to the opposite gender.
215 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as fast, twice as much, etc.)
216 Character's skin is burned by moonlight. 1d4 dmg/round
217 Character naturally attracts deinonychus' (raptors). 40% chance of being hungry.
218 Character can only exist in the shade. (Becomes ethereal in the sunlight, and can only move back to shade)
219 Character cannot be killed with rope.
220 Any casted magic that affects the Character causes an extremely blasphemous tattoo to appear.
221 Character's soul can leave their body and haunt any inanimate objects (weapons, lamps), but is fatigued when they return to their body.
222 Character is nourished by grass instead of food. (All other foods make them vomit.)
223 With exception to the eyes and brain, the Character begins to harmlessly decompose. (Is not undead, no longer eats)
224 Character can shoot any thin elongated object as arrows. Character takes a -4 to attack bonus when using them.
225 Character gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
226 Character’s body parts are replaced with fake ones. (Character has an urge to go find their original body)
227 Character can summon the undead. 40% chance of controlling it. Anything summoned disappears at midnight.
228 Character is turned into an ooze the same size and shape, for 1 full hour/day. (Character's equipment becomes ooze goo, but reverts to normal when the Character does as well.)
229 Character's heart becomes clockwork. It must be wound every 24 hours or else it stops. If it stops, Character's hit points drop to -1, and are restored to full if it's rewound.
230 Roll again, the next living thing the Character touches also receives the effect.
231 Character's hair becomes a very large powdered white wig. Character also gains a gavel.
232 Character teleports 1d20 years into the past, in the same spot. The same amount of years later, they walk into the bar and watch themselves disappear.
233 Character enjoys a good game of chess with only mirrors as his opponent.
234 Everyone no longer can take the Character seriously.
235 The only male name the Character is able to pronounce is Gary.
236 Character's touch can drain hit points, but loses the same amount.
237 Character is awake and alert the instant they wake up, regardless of how many hours they slept. Can also never be hungover.
238 Character can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
239 Character becomes perverted, and stares at other character's unmentionables quite blatantly.
240 Character’s body becomes a panda. (no stat change)
241 Character attempts to devour kobolds on sight.
242 Character constantly sounds like a grandma, using the terms "pooky" and "schnookums" regardless of the situation. Character pinches cheeks too.
243 Once per day, the Character can transform a segment of wall into a door.
244 Within 5 ft of the Character is always 10 degrees colder.
245 Character now worships a Greek god.
246 Character will become addicted to the next substance they consume.
247 Character becomes a were-saxophone player.
248 Character gains devil horns, and will be revealed with a detect evil spell, regardless of alignment or true nature.
249 Character gains fangs, but not a bite attack.
250 Re-roll twice more on this marvelous table, and the effect affects entire party.
251 Gain pet rock familiar.
252 Character can speak with plants once per week. (equivalent to succeeding a Gather Information or Knowledge nature of 15 DC)
253 Character's hands double in size, and can use weapons one size category larger than the Character with no penalties.
254 Character becomes extremely trusting of a random base race.
255 Character learns to brew diet healing potions. (doesn't actually heal)
256 Character's backpack disappears, and can just pull out items from behind their back, as long as they can carry it.
257 Character can use and throw vegetables to cast bolts of magic missile. Each vegetable is one bolt. (treated as spell, not thrown object)
258 Character switches eyes with the next creature with eyes they come into contact with. (Eyes will shrink/grow proportionally for all involved)
259 Character grows a second head that has a separate personality.
260 Any casted magic that affects the Character causes a wild surge.
261 Character can not exist any further away than 50 ft. of a random party member.
262 People with magic naturally distrust the Character.
263 Character's bones become unbreakeable. But will take damage normally.
264 Whenever the Character receives a critical with a weapon, the weapon breaks. (after taking damage)
265 Character's jaw splits in two, but can talk normally.
266 Character is only seen as a silhouette.
267 Every hour, Character has a 30% chance of falling asleep. Character can be woken up normally, or will otherwise sleep for 8 hours.
268 Character finds their own baby. (What kind is DMs choice.)
269 When the Character leaves the ground, they become twice as heavy. (Take twice as much fall damage)
270 Character gains a random language.
271 Character's palms and fingers become immune to fire.
272 It rains outdoors whenever the Character is sad.
273 Character passes out for 1d4 rounds whenever they cast/hit by a spell.
274 Character gains once per day use of a spell equal to Cha modifier. (Use modifier for DC)
275 Character gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
276 If an insect comes in contact with a Character, it's size becomes the same size category of the Character, and it becomes dire.
277 The Character's eyes move together to become one big eye.
278 Character can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
279 Character gains a Tortoise mount.
280 Character recently took an inviolable vow but can’t quite remember it. (DMs choice)
281 Character becomes a were-human. (even if they're human, they turn into a different human)
282 You come down with a nasty infection from the Solanum disease. (Zombies!)
283 2d8 of Character's teeth turn to gold. Can be sold 2 gp each. (but must yank them out first)
284 Character believes everyone is an imposter of themselves.
285 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as long, twice as much, etc.)
286 Everything in the world becomes aware of who the Character is.
287 Character gains a prehensile tongue that can extend out 5 ft.
288 Character develops an intense fear of trees; they might be treants.
289 Character can run up walls and other flat surfaces, but if they stop or change direction, they will fall.
290 Character has a remarkable knack for teaching monkeys sign language.
291 Character gains sylvan as a language.
292 Whenever the Character witnesses a spell being casted, they must succeed a DC 10 + spell level Will save or roll for a new alignment.
293 Character becomes addicted to casting the last spell they casted, and really enjoys casting it whenever they get the chance, or an excuse.
294 Character can summon doors that when opened, lead to a random plane. They, however, cannot summon the doors when in a plane other than the material plane.
295 At the start of every encounter the Character must succeed a DC 10 Will save or roll for a new alignment.
296 Character's bones can be played like a xylophone.
297 Relatively shallow bodies of water split in a dry path whenever the Character walks through them.
298 Character enjoys a good meal of brains. They also gain very small memories from the brains they consume, and can make a Knowledge brains check (+10 normal DC) instead of any normal knowledge check.
299 Character's personal space collapses in on itself and implodes around the Character. Strength save DC 10 or Character is crushed. (If Character survives, Character can no longer be crushed by any circumstance.)
300 Roll three more times on this marvelous table, and take all the effects.
301 Character gives birth to a clutch of (DMs choice).
302 Character can increase the length of any hair by pulling on it.
303 Character becomes the central deity of a religious cult and gains followers. The cult can be based on anything the Character desires, (I.e. adventure, treasure, muffins...etc.)
304 Character is only nourished by alcohol. (All other foods make them vomit. Will become drunk as normal.)
305 Character's belly button can open to a 1 cubic foot pouch of holding.
306 Character's breath is always a visible smoke. (can fill a room over time)
307 Character can spend a full round action to succeed a DC 25 + HD of creature concentration check, to knock out one enemy.
308 Character is invincible to all magic, but only while asleep.
309 Character irrationally hates fungi. (stomps on them when they see them)
310 Roll again, effect can be alchemized into a salve. (Ingredients are DMs choice)
311 Character is knocked prone whenever they hear their name.
312 A doppelganger of the Character is instantly created 5 ft away from them. The creature pays its humble respect and wanders off to see the world.
313 Any shadow puppet the player makes becomes a harmless living shadow of whatever it was.
314 Whatever the Character says appears in words that float around their head for a little while.
315 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as fast, twice as much, etc.)
316 Character loses 50 lbs.
317 Character can no longer answer a question truthfully.
318 Character will never remember their name.
319 Character’s pockets are now popular hangout spots for pocket gnomes.
320 Any casted magic that affects the Character causes birds to swoop down and groom them. (Like a crocodile)
321 Character's internal organs implode and compress into one super organ. Character looks only like skin and bones now. (is otherwise unaffected.)
322 Character shoots out fireworks (works as dancing lights) whenever they're struck.
323 Character gains a small doom cloud familiar.
324 Character's blood becomes pancake batter.
325 Character gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
326 Character will now age backwards. (from how old they are now.)
327 Character can no longer see a random party member
328 Character's hair stands straight up as if electrically charged. It frizzes and discharges electricity. Character's handshake is shocking and static electricity sparks appear on the Character's body now and then. (Harmless, but can get annoying to be around.)
329 Character cannot fight in direct sunlight, will otherwise dodge and hide, or get out of sunlight.
330 Roll again, the next living thing the Character touches also receives the effect.
331 Character becomes irrationally prejudice of a random base race.
332 Everytime the Character levels up, they have a choice of switching to a different class of the new level.
333 Character becomes a were-badger.
334 Whenever the Character witnesses a spell being casted, they must succeed a DC 10 Will save or roll for a new alignment.
335 Within 5 ft of the Character is always 10 degrees hotter.
336 Character can whistle obnoxiously loudly.
337 When the Character snaps their fingers, a small scale resonance cascade occurs and summons an extra-planar creature (friendly or not) every hour for 1d4 days.
338 Character can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
339 Character's HP is instantly (and only) reduced to 1 if struck with an holy weapon, but is healed by unholy weapons.
340 Character’s body becomes a kangaroo. (no stat change)
341 Character has a grapevine constantly growing on them.
342 Gain Eyebeams, once per day use, 1d4 + lvl. Effect stacks
343 Character is permanently dressed in a pristine Tuxedo. (Can wear armor over it)
344 Character's blood becomes a flourescent light blue, and glows in the dark.
345 Character now worships an Egyptian god.
346 Character can fly by sticking their thumbs in their armpits and flapping very hard. (Can fly a distance equal to 5 ft./strength modifier with a DC of 10 and a cumulative +3 every time after until they have taken an extended rest.)
347 Everyone who first meets the character says, “I’m so sorry” in a very concerned tone, although is not aware of saying it. The character is also unaware of anything that would warrant this.
348 Character is no longer liked, nor hated by anyone. (a reset)
349 A random party member disappears and is replaced with a map to their location.
350 Re-roll twice more on this marvelous table, and the effect affects entire party.
351 Character's ghost is always viewing the Character's own actions in the third person.
352 Character becomes a very dedicated carnivore. (Enemies look tasty)
353 Character can use brooms to fly. (poor)
354 Character becomes a super magnet. (A magnetic strength score of 10, aura 5 ft.)
355 Whenever a ranged attack misses the Character, it is considered they caught it with their teeth.
356 Whenever the Character hears their name, they are launched 5 ft in the air.
357 Character can breathe in outer space.
358 Roll a 1d12, at that time every 24 hours (pm), the Character is struck by lightning. (if outside. 1d6 damage to Character, 4d6 damage to anyone within 5ft)
359 Character is able to sit on anyone’s head as long as the head is bald. (Character becomes as light as paper when doing so)
360 Any casted magic that affects the Character causes a wild surge.
361 Character’s hair becomes a mohawk that’s as hard as steel.
362 Character's random body part becomes invincible. (bones, organs; DMs choice.)
363 Character becomes a cannibal. (Maybe even a civil one.)
364 Character gets an amoeba familiar. (Will not multiply.)
365 Character evaporates water when they touch it.
366 A permanent image of the Character is left where they are standing right now.
367 Character is infected with Porphyric Hemophelia. (Vampirism.)
368 Character lays an egg (regardless of gender). (What kind is DMs choice.)
369 If the Character pours water on the ground, it will become quicksand.
370 Character gains a random language.
371 Character sinks in ice as if it was quicksand.
372 Whenever the Character enters a building, gravity immediately reverses orientation for them.
373 Character's teeth become precious gems, and cannot be removed while the Character is alive.
374 Character only cries blood. (Harmless)
375 Character gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
376 Character does not have to touch objects to pick them up, but he must be in reach.
377 Character becomes extremely heterophobic, but extraordinarily attractive to the opposite gender.
378 If the Character stares at someone, they are unable to look away.
379 Character only bleeds rainbows.
380 Character sprouts a small, flaming wick atop of their head that can’t be put out. It burns brighter when they’re angry.
381 Character constantly hears the playing of a guitar in the distance. (and could be drawn to it)
382 If the Character is planted, it will grow into a tree that bears small fetus fruits that mature into babies of clones of the Character.
383 A random party member becomes infatuated with the Character.
384 Character's hands are reversed. (Like a rakshassa)
385 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as long, twice as much, etc.)
386 Character can only scry using a bald scalp.
387 Whenever the Character is struck in combat, the weapon they were hit with combusts, dealing 1d4 force damage to anyone in 5 ft. and 1 point of continual fire damage for 1d4 rounds. The weapon does not break.
388 Character's skin gains full body leopard print tattoos.
389 All of the Character's debts are paid, and they must buy a grog to who ever is next to them. (and might proceed to sing drinking songs)
390 Character has a license for wild-geese chasing. (Ever been on a wild-goose chase?)
391 Character learns recipe of random meal, gains the ingredients to prepare it, and will not be satisfied until they make the meal in a decent kitchen.
392 Character has an extreme distaste for thieves and pirates.
393 The grog pours out of the Character's mouth back into the mug, refusing to be drank by the Character. (needs new potion)
394 Character's hair grows to touch the ground, and can be used as an arm.
395 Character is pulled into the earth where they were standing until only their head shows, and must be dug up.
396 Character does not sink in water.
397 Character's hair bears fruit during harvest season.
398 Character can become gaseous in direct sunlight. (Equipment can't)
399 Character's internal organs become extremely unstable and explode. Fort negates (DC 10) or the Character dies. (If Character survives, Character evolves past the need of their organs.)
400 Roll three more times on this marvelous table, and take all the effects.
401 Character's eyes become removable pearls, retain normal sight.
402 Character is no longer able to sit or lay down.
403 Character can swim up waterfalls.
404 Character can inscribe markings into stone with their fingers.
405 Character is poisoned. (DMs choice of poison)
406 Character's eye sockets become pitch black. Character can see normally.
407 Any facial hair the Character has becomes self-aware.
408 Character can animate their own shoes to dance, but not while they're being worn.
409 Any water drank by the Character is instantly purified.
410 Roll again, character becomes sick and the next effect becomes the main symptom. (DM may add any other symptoms as they like. 30% contagious to anyone who spends a day around the character)
411 Character becomes best friends with the current president of the United States.
412 Character ages 100 years, and has 100 years added on to their natural life span.
413 Character can walk on clouds. (Getting to them is a different problem)
414 Character must make a DC 19 Will save or become wracked with existential angst.
415 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as fast, twice as much, etc.)
416 Character must make a DC 15 fortitude save, or gain a second personality.
417 Character's body is covered with fire like an everburning torch. (No harm to Character)
418 Character gains a voodoo doll of them self.
419 Character realizes they have died centuries ago, and doesn’t know how they’re here now.
420 Any casted magic that affects the Character causes a random limb to fall off. (Can be re-attached easily)
421 Character turns to stone for 1d4 hours whenever someone makes eye contact with them.
422 Character gains a permanent twitch.
423 When Character walks over a spot where someone died, they instantly know where it was.
424 The next thing the Character sits on will be able to fly. (poor)
425 Character gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
426 Character can cast any spell that's casted on them, once. Effect does not stack.
427 Character's mouth can open to twice it's normal size.
428 Character fails all diplomacy checks with the opposite gender.
429 Character can turn whatever they kill into small fist sized trophies.
430 Roll again, the next living thing the Character touches also receives the effect.
431 Whenever the character falls they will always land on their face. (This includes jumping)
432 Character's hair becomes a hedgehog familiar. Hair grows back at normal rate.
433 When the Character's blood leaves the Character, it floats around like wax inside a lava lamp.
434 Character turns invisible when eyes are closed. Does not affect clothing.
435 Character no longer has a face, but can talk, eat, see, hear, and smell normally.
436 Any animal the Character touches will speak common for 1d4 + lvl hours.
437 Character's feet become hands. (+5 to climb when bare 'foot')
438 Character can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
439 Whenever the Character takes damage, they are immediately shoved 10ft. from wherever they received it from.
440 Character’s body becomes an octopus. (no stat change, does not require water)
441 As long as the Character lives, a far off demon lord cannot return to life. (might be attacked by demon minions!)
442 Character knows the Wis score of any creature they encounter.
443 Any liquid the Character consumes becomes alcoholic. Character is also more immune to dehydration than most.
444 Character's skeleton removes itself from the Character's body without killing them, and runs away. It takes 24 hours for a new one to grow back. The skeleton is the same alignment as the Character, but has no desire to become friends with them.
445 Character now worships an oriental god.
446 Character's skeleton glows a fluorescent red that's visible through their skin.
447 Character cannot see the undead.
448 Character moves and falls normally underwater, but only if completely submerged. (Character will still have to hold their breath.)
449 Character's skin becomes soot black.
450 Re-roll twice more on this marvelous table, and the effect affects entire party.
451 Character gains an aura of disagreement.
452 Character can impregnate any species. The offspring will be the impregnated species.
453 Character becomes best friends with the Grim Reaper. (They cannot ask for favors.)
454 Fruit sings if within 30 ft of the Character.
455 Whenever a Character enters a building for the first time, it will eject him forcefully.
456 Character becomes a were-tree.
457 Character is able to spell and scribe any word they hear in any alphabet. (Whether they understand it or not is a different matter)
458 Character can summon pillows at will, and they are extra fluffy. Character can summon at max one pillow per person in their party.
459 Character can swim in lava, but is still burned by normal/magical fire. If Character fails a swim check while in lava, they explode and melt horribly.
460 Any casted magic that affects the Character causes a wild surge.
461 Whenever the Character closes their eyes, they see the place where they used to live. It would be a shame if it burned down or something....hehehe...
462 Character can move statues as though they were opposable.
463 Character loses all hair on their body.
464 Character can read books by flipping through them.
465 Character is burned by the touch of the opposite gender.
466 Whatever the Character touches has to agree with them, but can still physically resist them.
467 Character is only nourished by the souls of who they slay. (All other foods make them vomit.)
468 Character lays an egg (regardless of gender). (What kind is DMs choice.)
469 Character tastes like chocolate.
470 Character gains a random language.
471 Any plant the Character plants will grow in one day, but will never blossom or bear fruits or vegetables until it normally would anyway.
472 Character attracts kobolds.
473 Character learns one mundane song that they can play on any instrument.
474 Character gains once per day use of a spell equal to Cha modifier. (Use modifier for DC)
475 Character gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
476 Character can no longer use outhouses to go to the bathroom.
477 Character's soul cannot leave the material plane.
478 Character can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
479 Character's tears are acidic. The Character is not burned by them.
480 Character suffers intense pain whenever they enter a temple or church, regardless of the deity.
481 Character will possess whatever kills them for 1d8+lvl days.
482 The next enemy the Character meets will become friendly, but only to the Character.
483 Every fruit the Character touches turns to glass.
484 Character now has commitment issues.
485 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as long, twice as much, etc.)
486 Character will win every coin flip they do.
487 Character can bring anything they've killed back to life. It will become permanently hostile to the Character regardless. (Character cannot gain experience this way)
488 Any creature the Character kills evaporates. (Not equipment)
489 Any change in HP of the Character floats away as numbers when it happens.
490 Character is a champion pillow fighter. (but only with pillows)
491 Character's urine can revive plant life.
492 The Character is now burned by cold, and frostbitten by fire.
493 Character becomes addicted to casting the last spell they casted, and really enjoys casting it whenever they get the chance, or an excuse.
494 Character now speaks in bad action movie one-liners.
495 Character can crack open any kind of nut or seed in their hand.
496 Character's fingers grow twice as long.
497 Character can set water on fire.
498 Character's hair becomes porcupine quills.
499 If the Character fails a DC 10 Reflex save, every molecule in the Character's body is exploded at the speed of light in every direction. (If Character survives, Character becomes a huge power source for any electrical equipment, regardless if there is any.)
500 Roll three more times on this marvelous table, and take all the effects.
501 Character gives birth to a brood of (DMs choice).
502 Character glows a shade of gold in the presence of magic, and magical ore.
503 Characters eyes never close.
504 Character can use carrots as daggers.
505 Character's tongue becomes a harmless snake, and talk normally.
506 Character's urine is extremely acidic. (does not harm Character)
507 Character falls in love with the next enemy they see.
508 Everytime the Character whistles, an eagle will swoop down and land on the Character's shoulder, and stare at whatever the Character stares at. It leaves if the Character enters combat.
509 Character believes the next humanoid they see is their son and/or daughter and/or other.
510 Roll again, effect can be transmitted through bodily fluids. (Urine, saliva, blood…)
511 Character gains a political committee designed to elect the Character to a fictional political office.
512 Character's skin turns red when it's hot, and blue when it's cold.
513 Character is haunted by the ghost of everything they slay.
514 It is always assumed that the Character killed their parents. (Whether or not it's true)
515 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as fast, twice as much, etc.)
516 Character's pockets has an unending supply of Cuban cigars. Cannot be sold. (Only given away graciously)
517 Character is only able to enter rooms through dramatic actions.
518 Character attracts insects.
519 Character always appears to be riddled with bullet holes. (Does not bleed from holes)
520 Any casted magic that affects the Character causes an anvil to chain itself to the Character’s leg. (Break DC 17)
521 The next wild mundane animal the Character sees, becomes domesticated to the Character.
522 Character gains the profession Air Guitar skill. By strumming the air, the noises of a guitar are created. Character may attempt to dazzle and stun anyone within range of his voice with a wicked guitar solo as a full round action. Fortitude save DC 10 + Character's Air Guitar skill bonus.
523 Character can only hear their base language backwards.
524 Character's presence causes frost to form, but won't freeze anything.
525 Character gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
526 Character gains a new hairstyle every day.
527 Character is attracted to them self.
528 Character grows fur on their entire body.
529 Character glows an eerie green for 3 seconds when their bellybuttons are pressed.
530 Roll again, the next living thing the Character touches also receives the effect.
531 Character can only communicate by saying their name over and over, and the party are the only ones who understand them. This includes past and future party members.
532 No matter what the Character says, anyone who hears them will think they are attempting to seduce them.
533 Character is intensely afraid of prostitutes.
534 Whenever the Character witnesses a spell being casted, they must succeed a DC 10 Will save or roll for a new alignment.
535 Character is extremely flexible, to an inhuman point.
536 Character gains a permanent twitch.
537 Character can use weapons as musical instruments.
538 Character can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
539 Doors attack the Character if they attempt to walk through them. (Wood: +3 1d6+2 smash attack. Metal: +3 2d6+3 smash attack. Stone: +2 2d8+4 smash attack.)
540 Character’s head becomes that of a velociraptor. (gains bite attack)
541 Character has a powerful urge to punt anything in the tiny size category or smaller.
542 Character gains opposable feet.
543 Character's sweat releases an eerie blue smoke.
544 Character's eyes become similar to an octopus, and can see underwater perfectly for 60 ft.
545 Character makes their own god up and worships it. (It also exists due to it being worshiped.)
546 Character gains were-obesity.
547 Character is no longer able to reproduce in any way.
548 Magical items are drawn to the Character like a powerful magnet and activate once they hit the Character. (Reflex DC 15 to avoid setting them off)
549 Character's nose glows blue when they pass near underground wells of water.
550 Re-roll twice more on this marvelous table, and the effect affects entire party.
551 Character has a 10% chance of impregnating any creature with a normal grapple.
552 Character gains OCD.
553 Character can digest bones.
554 Character grows animal horns. (DMs choice of moose, rams, etc.)
555 Any mount ridden by the Character suffers no fatigue while they ride it.
556 Character gains own shadow as familiar. (see shadow monster)
557 Character becomes chronically pooped on by anything that flies.
558 Character's nails fall off, and can be planted to grow any type of flower the Character wants. (Instantly)
559 Character can shoot spider webs out from their fingertips when outside of combat.
560 Any casted magic that affects the Character causes a wild surge.
561 Character gains a permanent pair of glasses.
562 Character can remove any curse, by only receiving it them self.
563 Character can melt non-magical ice with their touch. They do not give off any extra heat.
564 All liquids the Character consumes become caffeinated.
565 Character can make a DC 15 Concentration check to summon the nearest bird, friendly or not.
566 Character's feet becomes invincible, but they can still feel pain.
567 Character becomes physically attracted to weapons.
568 Character lays an egg (regardless of gender). (What kind is DMs choice.)
569 Character becomes feral when their food is at stake.
570 Character gains a random language.
571 Character gains antennae on their head.
572 When the Character is drunk, they can succeed a DC 17 fortitude save to release a stream of fire with a mighty burp. 10 ft line, 1d4 fire damage.
573 Character becomes physically attracted to mundane animals.
574 Character gains once per day use of a spell equal to Cha modifier. (Use modifier for DC)
575 Character gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
576 Character is physically teleported to alternate planes in their sleep, but return to the material plane when they wake up.
577 Character harbors an extreme distaste for sailors.
578 Character can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
579 Character's voice of reason becomes an invincible squirrel that no one else can see.
580 Character grows a ponytail of feathers all the colour of the rainbow. It makes for wonderful plumage.
581 A bright round sphere looking object appears over the Character's head whenever they get an idea, or remember something.
582 The next enemy the Character meets becomes directly related to the Character, 40% chance of being friendly.
583 The entire party is pulled into the Character's dreams whenever the Character is asleep.
584 Character's hair becomes smoke.
585 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as long, twice as much, etc.)
586 Character's hair becomes a chicken that insists on sitting on their head. The chicken is immune to damage, and does not leave the Character's head.
587 Whenever it rains, the Character is always at the end of the rainbow.
588 Character can only communicate with cat noises. (Character can talk normally to any feline)
589 Character mistakes every woman they meet for the first time as their farming wife Charlotte.
590 Character is able to dig graves with surprising amounts of gusto.
591 Character can make a DC 15 Concentration check to summon the nearest bird, friendly or not.
592 The Character's evil twin from a parallel dimension materializes next to them.
593 Character gains a gambling addiction, and has magically bad luck.
594 Every night, an intelligent woodchuck appears to tell the Character stories as they fall asleep.
595 Character can use arrows without a bow. Instead they throw them. Use the stats of a short bow.
596 Vines grow over the Character whenever they're asleep.
597 Character permanently smells like a fresh ocean breeze. People might reminisce about their romantic experiences on beaches or boats.
598 Character's head becomes incorporeal. (Can speak normally)
599 A Boeing 747 commercial airliner crashes on the Character, and everyone needs to make a Reflex save DC 15 or be obliterated in the debris. (If the Character survives, they learn how to pilot airplanes! Too bad the only one just crashed. DMs Choice as to what the plane's cargo was.)
600 Roll three more times on this marvelous table, and take all the effects.
601 Only the top half of the Character is visible.
602 Character's touch leaves permanent black marks on any type of skin, except for their own. They also become great skin artists.
603 Character can grow herbs on themselves harmlessly.
604 Once per day, the Character can grant one mundane animal an INT score equal to their own, that goes away at midnight.
605 Character's hair grows 3x quicker now.
606 Character's fingers become a key ingredient to making a brew that can cure any and all diseases and poisons, magical or otherwise. Character is aware of the recipe. 1 finger per brew.
607 Character grows 1d4 extra fingers on both of their hands.
608 Character becomes homophobic, but becomes extraordinarily attractive to members of the same gender.
609 Character can swap places with one party member at-will.
610 Roll again, character gains the ability to cook the effect into a meal. (Ingredients are DMs choice)
611 Character finds a dagger in their boot. (A +1 Dagger of Substantial Importance!)
612 Character can only pee upon other people's legs.
613 The next enemy the Character attacks becomes their reoccurring arch enemy that will plot dastardly schemes to destroy the Character and take over the world!
614 Character's belly button can open to a 1 cubic foot pouch of holding.
615 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as fast, twice as much, etc.)
616 Character learns the spell Teach Esperanto, which will automatically teach Esperanto to the subject. Can cast at-will.
617 Character gains an un-summonable glacier familiar.
618 Next profanity used by Character becomes a living, vile entity.
619 Any mundane creature the Character hugs becomes a plush doll version of itself for the duration the Character hugging it. (the animal cannot be harmed while plush)
620 Any casted magic that affects the Character causes it to snow in the immediate area.
621 Whatever the Character kills harmlessly explodes and splatters everywhere. (People, doors, etc.)
622 Whenever the Character wakes up, they are in a coffin where they had went to sleep.
623 The Character can only speak in their base language backwards.
624 Character gets strange blisters that pop like bubble wrap on their arms. When they pop, they make different musical notes. They're not unsightly, just weird.
625 Character gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
626 Character's joints are reversible.
627 Character becomes violently ill when alcohol is consumed, but also becomes an alcoholic.
628 Character can remember their name, and that's about it.
629 Character becomes a witch, and might encounter witch hunters.
630 Roll again, the next living thing the Character touches also receives the effect.
631 Character can use fruits as musical instruments.
632 Character's hair turns white in the presence of magic. (If it's white to begin with, it turns a girly pink, complete with bows and ribbons.)
633 Character's twin shows up, and is similar in every aspect except that their alignment is one step above or below the Characters.
634 Character is sexually attracted to fire.
635 Character is believed to be a doomsday weapon. (May be sought after by kings and nations.)
636 When the Character sleeps, the grass either grows in 160 sq ft area around the Character, or the existing grass grows ten times it's normal size.
637 Character's pockets spawn mundane playing cards one at a time.
638 Character can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
639 Character gains a key that can open their chest cavity harmlessly like a cabinet door.
640 Character’s body turns into a troglodyte. (no stat change)
641 Character can dance with bears, whether they're hostile or not. Character must make a Wisdom save DC 10 + bear's HD.
642 A bottomless well is created next to the Character.
643 Whatever object the Character sits on can be piloted. (Fly, 30 ft. poor.)
644 When Character touches glass, they move through it like water. (Glass reforms.)
645 Character now worships an Egyptian god.
646 Character can store spells in their fingernails.
647 Character gains an aura of incredulity. Everything the Character does seems incredulous.
648 Character gains the knowledge of how to weaponize the grog, by imbuing it into a rod of wonder. The effects have a 50% chance of affecting the Character, or the target.
649 Character's eyebrows grow twice their size and permanently cover the Character's eyes.
650 Re-roll twice more on this marvelous table, and the effect affects entire party.
651 Whenever the Character is struck, a mundane creature will appear in their clothing. (rabbits, snakes, birds, etc.)
652 Character is detected by Detect Undead.
653 Character is constantly mistaken for an extremely evil demon.
654 Wildlife brings the Character food periodically.
655 Character didn’t actually exist prior to drinking this grog.
656 Character's touch leaves permanent red blood splatter.
657 Character can hear the thoughts of a random party member.
658 Character has random manias of superb mathematical genius, but after 1d4 rounds, won't be able to understand what they had just said or done. During the mania, the Character's brain doubles harmlessly in size.
659 Character is a were-construct.
660 Any casted magic that affects the Character causes a wild surge.
661 Character's weapons are permanently bound to them.
662 An owlbear appears, runs toward the Character and hugs them for 1d4 rounds before disappearing. It automatically succeeds on its touch attack and all grapple checks. It attacks anyone who tries to harm the Character it is hugging. This happens at the same time everyday. Even if the bear is in combat, it will still disappear after 1d4 rounds.
663 Whenever the Character sleeps, a bed of cabbages grows under them over night.
664 It snows whenever the Character is sad.
665 When the Character snaps their fingers, a apple appears before them. It's a normal apple. Max 1d4/lvl per day.
666 A furious demon portal is opened up directly in front of the Character, and a monster of unspeakable horror named Howard suddenly sparks into existence.
667 Character can teleport from the bottom of any freshwater lake to the bottom of any other freshwater lake.
668 Character lays an egg (regardless of gender). (What kind is DMs choice.)
669 Character's jaw becomes removable.
670 Character gains a random language.
671 Character receives mail from a long distance significant other periodically by Marvin the Mailman. (He's a mailman)
672 Character is extremely prejudice against fruits and vegetables.
673 Character gains an Easter Island head familiar. When it's summoned, it sits there and creeps everyone out.
674 Character gains once per day use of a spell equal to Cha modifier. (Use modifier for DC)
675 Character gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
676 Character can steal one prepared spell from grappled spell casters that doesn't exceed their Int modifier.
677 Character's thumb turns greens, and can cause plants to grow at a rapid rate, but cannot exceed their normal size.
678 Character can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
679 Character can remove their face like a mask.
680 Character’s heart will never stop beating, even if removed.
681 Character thinks any form of eating meat is a crime against nature.
682 Character's mouth is stuck in a permanent smile.
683 Character's right arm is interchangeable with any other creature's right arm. (Character can remove right arms harmlessly)
684 Character grows an extra finger and toe on each hand and foot. (No effect if Character lacks hands and feet.)
685 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as long, twice as much, etc.)
686 Character can speak the language of the next mundane animal they meet.
687 Character is able to shove their foot up any butt, regardless if it fits or not. It deals pride damage.
688 Character only requires sleep 1d8 hours of sleep a night. (Re-roll every night)
689 Anything the Character wears turns to wood permanently, but retains all stats.
690 Character has an unusually good talent for trout tickling. (May be illegal in some areas.)
691 Character knows the Int score of any creature they encounter.
692 Character can use a baguette as a longsword.
693 Character becomes addicted to casting the last spell they casted, and really enjoys casting it whenever they get the chance, or an excuse.
694 Character is no longer able to get drunk.
695 Character physically regresses to when they were a child, but retains all stats and abilities.
696 Character can snap their fingers together and produce sparks like flint and steel would.
697 Character gains a second heart, and is able to hold their breath for 5-6 minutes before suffocating.
698 Character disappears and is replaced with a map to their location.
699 Character spontaneously ages 10,000 years. Fort save DC 10 or the Character disintegrates. (Character reverts to normal health and stats before the potion, but is still 10,000 years older. Lifespan continues as normal.)
700 Roll three more times on this marvelous table, and take all the effects.
701 Character gives birth to a nest of (DMs choice).
702 Character gains insect like wings, and can fly. (poor)
703 Character gains 5 ft of height, but is not considered a size category larger. Stats don't change.
704 Character believes that all other races other than their own are aliens.
705 Character can use and throw fruit to cast bolts of magic missile. Each fruit is one bolt. (treated as spell, not thrown object)
706 Whenever the Character goes to the bathroom, small, harmless earthquakes hit the surrounding area.
707 Everytime the Character sneezes, an exact duplicate of themselves appears at least 20 ft away from the Character for 1d4 hours. Character must designate a mundane allergen that makes them sneeze. (Certain flowers, dust, mold, animals, etc.)
708 Character has a zipper on the front of their chest that they can unzip and show off the inside of their torso.
709 The next time the Character dies, they are resurrected as the race that killed them.
710 Roll again, effect can be bestowed through a ritual the character suddenly learns. (Material components are DMs choice)
711 Character's shadow smokes as if it's on fire. (Not good to stay in enclosed spaces)
712 Any statue resembling an animal that is within 30 ft of the Character is animated. If it goes beyond 30 ft, it ceases to be animated.
713 Character can use wildlife as weapons. (but will drop in alignment when they do)
714 Character only bleeds sand.
715 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as fast, twice as much, etc.)
716 Character's voice drops an octave and echoes no matter what.
717 Character gains cat pupils, whiskers, and fur. (No low-light vision is gained, Character might tend to purr)
718 Character's skin becomes translucent, and observers are able to see tiny fish swimming around inside of the Character.
719 Character gains a spirit animal that appears whenever the Character is within 15 ft of fire. (DM’s Choice)
720 Any casted magic that affects the Character causes plant life to over grow in the immediate area.
721 Character's tears turn into jellybeans.
722 All fire that burns within 30 ft. of the Character turns the colour of their choice.
723 Any object the Character successfully breaks bursts into flower petals.
724 Character gains 100 lbs.
725 Character gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
726 Character knows the market value of any humanoid as a slave that they see.
727 Character attracts floating candles.
728 Character's eyes turn purple and gains an aura of purple. Anyone who is within 5 ft of the Character, including the Character, only sees in shades of purple.
729 Everytime the Character attacks a mundane animal, a second one appears next to it.
730 Roll again, the next living thing the Character touches also receives the effect.
731 Any fruit the Character touches becomes dried and preserved.
732 Character gains very dramatic looking battle scars and gains a +10 on all bluff checks if only relating to them.
733 Character becomes a ghost when they are in the rain.
734 Whenever the Character witnesses a spell being casted, they must succeed a DC 10 Will save or roll for a new alignment.
735 Character goes insane. They are convinced that they are nothing but constructs in a game played by unseen beings who determine their every move. They will babble incessantly about things like "stats" and "hit points". On the bright side, they gain an uncanny insight into the vulnerabilities and strengths of creatures they encounter. Effect lasts until the next time the Character sleeps. This experience stays with them forever.
736 Character gains 1d4 more eyes.
737 A talking rainbow unicorn offers to be the Character's steed. (Unicorn is Neutral Good)
738 Character can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
739 Whenever the Character is left alone in a building, the building burns down.
740 Character’s body turns into a medium-sized praying mantis. (no stat change)
741 Character can pick up flames in their hands. (like, scooping up fire and throwing it.)
742 When the Character dies, their ghost will haunt the party forever.
743 Character gains a pair of sunglasses that when worn, they become "too cool" for whatever action is decided. Does not effect hostilities.
744 Character cannot die in their sleep.
745 Character now worships an Greek god.
746 Character's hands never leave their sleeves. (Character also permanently wears long sleeve shirts.)
747 Character becomes aware of a certain group of people who've managed to travel back in time. (No one in particular, it's DMs choice really)
748 With a DC 15 search check, the Character can find random dinosaur plushies hidden in the environment. They're worthless, but they have strange sentimental value.
749 Whatever the Character is sitting on right now becomes their property.
750 Re-roll twice more on this marvelous table, and the effect affects entire party.
751 Whenever the Character hears their name, a random flower sprouts somewhere on their person.
752 Character's presence causes vegetables within 30 ft. to sing.
753 Character gets accepted into the University of their choice.
754 Character's left arms swaps with the last humanoid they touched.
755 Character finds a compelling but incomprehensible magical tome in their inventory.
756 Character has a giant round hole in their chest. (Harmless)
757 Character's footsteps sound as though they were 3 size categories larger.
758 Character gains a locked bulletproof suitcase that's permanently chained to their left wrist. (Contains some very powerful information, too bad no known locksmith can open it)
759 Character permanently speaks Spanish, but gets subtitles.
760 Any casted magic that affects the Character causes a wild surge.
761 Character becomes a were-zombie. (If already a zombie, they become were-alive.)
762 Character now feels the need to route out the communists.
763 Character is now permanently afflicted with glitter.
764 Character will always smell like freshly baked cookies. Might attract wildlife.
765 Character gains a permanent smiley face button on their shoulder.
766 Character is cloned, but doesn't know where the clone is.
767 Character goes down one size category. (With no Ability Score change)
768 Character lays an egg (regardless of gender). (What kind is DMs choice.)
769 Character gains very well defined and shiny muscles, and can show them off as a free action. (Does not affect CHA or CHA based skills)
770 Character gains a random language.
771 Character gets a small unicorn horn that glistens in the sunlight. (Cannot attack with it, too small)
772 Character's feet attract snakes. 10% chance of being poisonous.
773 Whatever the Character kills becomes a tombstone.
774 Character gains once per day use of a spell equal to Cha modifier. (Use modifier for DC)
775 Character gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
776 Character attracts suspicious little red glowing dots. (Like a sniper...)
777 Character gains a butterfly familiar. (The Character doesn't know it's their familiar though)
778 Character can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
779 If the Character falls in love (truly), then whoever they love will mysteriously and spontaneously combust the next day.
780 To only the Character, puddles are always 10 ft. deep.
781 Character gains a pencil-thin mustache, a thick British accent, and an urge to lift one eyebrow.
782 Spectacular lightning strikes flares overhead when the Character's name is said.
783 Character looks like a ghost in the moonlight.
784 Character can make a normal swim check to swim through the ground. (Like getting to underground places) Failing the check results in entombment.
785 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as long, twice as much, etc.)
786 Character's whistle sounds like a contrabass saxophone.
787 Character can boils small quantities of water by staring at it for 1d6 rounds.
788 Character invents the Harpmonicsicordiphone.
789 Character breathes out harmless lightning clouds. Can shock/distract people.
790 Character has what it takes to be an Olympic-level vagrant.
791 Character goes down one size category.
792 When Character is submerged in the ocean, they transform into a blue whale. They must beach themselves to turn back. Their equipment expands to fit them.
793 Character's hair becomes as strong as steel.
794 Character no longer has a midsection. (Still eats normally)
795 At the start of every encounter the Character must succeed a DC 10 Will save or roll for a new alignment.
796 Character gains their own brain as their familiar. It can exist harmlessly outside of their body.
797 Character can breathe beneath only 5 ft. of water.
798 Character attracts whatever they are afraid of.
799 All of the Character's blood is replaced with grog. Constitution save DC 10, or be obliterated into the chaotic omnicosm. (If Character survives, they re-roll and decuple (x10) the effect!)
800 Roll three more times on this marvelous table, and take all the effects.
801 Character petrifies all grass they walk on.
802 Whenever the Character leaves the ground, they become as heavy as paper. (Will fall normally though)
803 Character becomes intensely afraid of penguins. (Sphenisciphobia) (Penguins are not unknown to stalk people)
804 Character is nourished by charcoal instead of food. (Food harmlessly burns in their mouth while they chew, can not be used to bite.)
805 Character can pull their hand off, revealing a dagger attached outwards from their wrist. Their hand functions normally when sheathed and not.
806 Character can make a DC 15 Concentration check to summon the nearest bird, friendly or not.
807 Whenever the Character makes a fist, they become round spheres of steel. (Dmg 1d6 + Str.)
808 Character begins to lactate ale regardless of gender.
809 Whenever the Character takes damage, they must make a DC 13 Fortitude save or fall unconscious for 1d4 rounds.
810 Roll again, effect can be smithed into a weapon that imbues the effect onto whomever holds it. (Cheap materials, as well as a smith, are DMs choice)
811 Character is surrounded constantly by a personal 'bubble'. When it pops, it takes 2 rounds to reform.
812 Sand perpetually pours out of the Character's eye sockets when their eyes are open. Character sees normally.
813 A random limb becomes only the functioning skeleton of it.
814 Character can summon small versions of themselves that sit on their shoulders and argue with each other or other people.
815 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as fast, twice as much, etc.)
816 Character's burp becomes the mating call of unicorns.
817 Character becomes discretely stalked by a garden gnome.
818 Character's nose bleeds when anything venereal is discussed.
819 Doors will always hit the Character on the ass on the way out. (Tougher doors hit harder)
820 Any casted magic that affects the Character causes water nearby to become holy/unholy. (Depending on alignment)
821 Character is no longer related to anyone.
822 Character's blood harmlessly becomes sand.
823 Character's presence causes animals within 30 ft. to sing.
824 Once per day, the Character becomes encased in stone. DC 13 Strength to break out.
825 Character gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
826 Whenever the Character makes a joke, a laugh track plays in the background.
827 Character's HP is instantly (and only) reduced to 1 if struck with an unholy weapon, but is healed by holy weapons.
828 Character perspires rainbows.
829 Any door the Character tries to open instantly locks itself. (Can still be picked)
830 Roll again, the next living thing the Character touches also receives the effect.
831 Whenever the Character falls asleep, their clothes fly away and migrate south for the winter.
832 Anything the Character kills is personally escorted to hell by the Grim Reaper.
833 Character is now healed by mushrooms. (1d4 + Con modifier per shroom)
834 Character sprouts a singing venus fly trap on their shoulder that sings when the Character is happy.
835 Character is blinded, but can still see normally through sonic vibrations. (See Daredevil)
836 As long as the Character pets a creature, it is able to speak it’s mind.
837 Character gains 3 fox tails.
838 Character can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
839 Character's butt dispenses 10 ft. of rope per day.
840 Character’s body is permanently covered in mummy wraps. (no stat change, preserve body upon death)
841 Character can skip themselves off of water (10 ft.) with a DC 5 jump check, with each successive skip increasing the DC by 5.
842 Character sings manly songs whenever they're in combat.
843 Character becomes a were-sword.
844 A random party member can now hear the Character's thoughts.
845 Character now worships a Norse god.
846 Anything the Character kills becomes preserved forever.
847 If the Character touches a plant, it glows in the dark.
848 Character's right index finger (or equivalent) gives off a harmless red laser.
849 The souls of whoever the Character kills linger around them in the form of small heatless balls of purple-ish fire.
850 Re-roll twice more on this marvelous table, and the effect affects entire party.
851 Character gains a wombat for a mount.
852 Every time the Character is struck on the head with any force, they change to the opposite alignment.
853 Character releases extremely manly pheromones, regardless of gender.
854 Character's body hair is replaced with 3 leafed clovers. (Search check for a four leafed)
855 Character comes upon an invincible key that explodes anytime it is inserted into a lock.
856 Character no longer blinks, and always looks very angry. They only close when they're asleep.
857 Character can run across water, but if they stop or change direction, they sink.
858 Character's eyes are permanently covered with shadow, and are impossible to see under any light.
859 Character chooses an obscure food product. They become professionals in cooking it.
860 Any casted magic that affects the Character causes a wild surge.
861 Character can spawn a bag of marbles every day, that only they are able to touch. If Character loses the marbles, they take a -8 penalty to Int until they are collected, or a new bag is spawned. The bag disappears at the end of the day.
862 Character now has green, copper based blood.
863 Character does not cast a shadow.
864 A 60 ft wide snowstorm surrounds the Character for 1d4 hours every 2 days at noon.
865 Character is unable to talk around the opposite gender.
866 Any weapon the Character holds is able to talk, and is normally very eager to do so.
867 Character learns recipe of random meal, gains the ingredients to prepare it, and will not be satisfied until they make the meal in a decent kitchen.
868 Character finds their own baby. (What kind is DMs choice.)
869 Character gains a grand piano familiar. (Summonable at-will, at ground level)
870 Character gains a random language.
871 People with magic are physically attracted to the Character.
872 Character becomes a were-statue.
873 Continual fog empties out of the Character's ankles filling a 30 ft radius. 1 ft high.
874 Character gains once per day use of a spell equal to Cha modifier. (Use modifier for DC)
875 Character gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
876 Character can use wildlife as musical instruments.
877 Character can chop non-magical wood with their bare hands.
878 Character can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
879 Character gains 1d4 different voices that they can use interchangeably at-will.
880 Mysterious runes are visible on the Character’s skin in the moonlight.
881 Character becomes unnaturally fascinated with piercing their body piercings. (Can be replaced with magical ones)
882 Character's head can rotate 360 degrees around.
883 Character's brain becomes clockwork, and must be wound every 24 hours. Otherwise Character's INT drops to 0 until it's wound again.
884 Character can make a DC 15 fortitude check to cough up one lung. It grows back after 24 hours, until then, Character cannot run.
885 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as long, twice as much, etc.)
886 Whenever the Character goes to sleep, they are kidnapped for the amount of time they rest. After which they are returned to the exact same spot, fully rested.
887 Around the Character, the moon appears to be constantly full at night.
888 Character hiccups bubbles. 2d4 bubbles per round for 2d4 rounds when caught flatfooted (or surprised).
889 Character is nourished by arguments. All other food makes the Character nauseous.
890 Character is a professionally bad dancer.
891 Character flips a coin to decide whether or not they should tell the truth. (Heads = truth, Tails = false)
892 Character can only read and write languages they do not know how to speak.
893 Character becomes addicted to casting the last spell they casted, and really enjoys casting it whenever they get the chance, or an excuse.
894 Character occasionally and inexplicably becomes in possession of random people's underwear.
895 At the start of every encounter the Character must succeed a DC 10 Will save or roll for a new alignment.
896 Character can sheath any type of sword in their forearm, and not be hindered in their movement.
897 Character gains a purple thumb that causes non-magical plants to whither and die.
898 As long as the Character has throwing knives, they can inexplicably pull them out of any where on their person.
899 Character fades into an existential quandary filled with angst and self-loathing. DC 10 Wisdom save, or the Character vanishes into nothingness. (If the Character survives, they will never complain about how bad things are, and will be persistently optimistic.)
900 Roll three more times on this marvelous table, and take all the effects.
901 Character gives birth to a litter of (DMs choice).
902 Character's head is removable. It will remain active, as well as the body.
903 Character gains a talking tattoo. Roll for tattoo's alignment.
904 Character is able to lick an enemy to paralyze them for 1d6 rounds. Fortitude save DC 10 + Character's level negates.
905 Everytime the Character dances, a natural disaster happens somewhere. (2% chance it happens right where the Character is)
906 Character's consciousness swaps with a future incarnation from the 21st century. (No stat change)
907 Character can now directly communicate with their god, but cannot get help from them.
908 Character can identify any substance by ingesting it.
909 Character is burned by water, except when they drink it.
910 Roll again, the effect spreads to casters that cast magic on the character. (Lasts 1 day/character level)
911 From now on, whenever the Character meets a new person, the new person will only ever be able to dream about the Character.
912 Whatever the Character guesses will always be correct, but no one will ever believe them.
913 Character is able to be used as a great club by other characters in the same size category. Character takes half damage minus their armor bonus.
914 Character becomes a dragon in a human form with the same stats as they had before, but has forgotten how to polymorph.
915 Roll again, the effect is thrice as strong. (Thrice as fast, thrice as much, etc.)
916 It's now impossible to identify the race and gender of the Character. (May be referred to as a 'whatever')
917 Character is made of felt. (But takes all damage normally)
918 If the Character succeeds a DC 20 Wisdom save, the Character can marry any two creatures who automatically become non-violent towards each other, and produce a child hybrid.
919 Character grows 1d10 new and mysterious organs in his abdomen.
920 Any casted magic that affects the Character causes all nearby wildlife to double in size.
921 Character's singing attracts hostile creatures.
922 If the Character opens a closet, there will always be a dead body in it.
923 Character's middle name becomes "Danger".
924 Character can shoot anything with a bow that they can lift.
925 Character gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
926 Whoever makes eye contact with the Character cannot help but laugh.
927 Character gains rock-star like groupies that follow them everywhere. (Large mob) If they get killed, new ones take their place. They are only capable of cheering and trampling the Character.
928 Character can plane shift once per day, and move 5 spaces before coming back to the material plane. They have a 60% chance of bringing something back with them, and a 20% chance of it being friendly.
929 Character is severely allergic to intimacy. (Symptoms include head trauma and internal bleeding)
930 Roll again, the next living thing the Character touches also receives the effect.
931 Character is physically moved to tears whenever they part with any of their money.
932 Character is abducted by aliens, probed, surgically implanted with an unknown alien device, and is put back in the same spot about 10 minutes later.
933 Beneath the Character's skin, they become entirely robotic. They take damage and die normally, and don't feel any different.
934 Whenever the Character witnesses a spell being casted, they must succeed a DC 10 Will save or roll for a new alignment.
935 If the Character breaks a window, it sucks everything through it as though the other side was a vacuum.
936 Once per day, the Character can summon a stream of 600 butterflies to swarm themself for 1d4 rounds, blinding everyone including the Character within 40 ft. until they're dispersed.
937 Character learns every recipe there is to cooking and serving the slain bodies of their enemies.
938 Character can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
939 Character adds all ranks from Move Silently to Bluff, and instead says, "You can't see me, I'm hiding." for any and all sneak attempts.
940 Character’s body turns into a medium sized minotaur. (no stat change)
941 Character becomes a dimensional rift that alternate realities can enter through.
942 Character is possessed by a demon that acts the exact same way as the Character did beforehand. The demon is detected by Detect Evil, but is the same alignment of the Character.
943 Character becomes irresistibly cute, but only while on fire.
944 Once per day, the Character can vomit freshly caught fish.
945 Character does not believe in gods.
946 All Gods abandoned the Character.
947 Character's consciousness visits the modern era in their dreams, by taking the body of a future incarnation.
948 Character is abducted by aliens for 1d4 days. (DMs choice of what happens)
949 Character has a 30 ft aura of a full-moon. (Affects were-creatures)
950 Re-roll twice more on this marvelous table, and the effect affects entire party.
951 The Aurora Borealis are always above the Character.
952 Character is a were-warforged.
953 A giant robot from the future comes back in time and stands over where the Character is standing. Character could never possibly hope to be trained in piloting it though.
954 The Character is considered dead for the duration they sleep. When they wake up, they are resurrected.
955 Character finds a notebook detailing the way they were built in a lab.
956 Instead of sleeping, the Character is under the effects of internally produced lysergic acid diethylamide for the amount of hours they would normally spend sleeping.
957 Character becomes married to the sea. If Character already has a spouse, they will kill them and become a sailor. (Doesn't leave the party)
958 Character goes up one size category. (With no Ability Score change)
959 Character can make a DC 17 Will Save to grow a fabulous and amazing mustache.
960 Any casted magic that affects the Character causes a wild surge.
961 Character can make a DC 13 Strength check to punch into the ground and pull out any type of vegetable.
962 Character's presence causes bubbles to explode. 2d4 fire damage each.
963 Character ceases to age, but will die at the end of their lifespan.
964 Whenever the Character is cold or freezing, they become undead. When they are warmed up again, they come back to life.
965 No ship can float while the Character is on board, however, they can be sailed underwater.
966 Character becomes aware of a contract they have with the mole people to defile any gardens they happen to pass by. (Farms don't count, petunia bushes do)
967 Character's long lost fraternal twin will visit the Character soon.
968 Character lays an egg (regardless of gender). (What kind is DMs choice.)
969 Character degenerates into an earlier form of their race. (No stat change)
970 Character gains a random language.
971 Character can no longer speak unless they are touching someone, and can only speak in the languages of the person they are touching.
972 Character becomes permanently drunk.
973 Character has an aura of badass-itude.
974 Character gains once per day use of a spell equal to Cha modifier. (Use modifier for DC)
975 Character gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
976 Whatever the Character kills will come back to life as a zombie immediately. 50% of being friendly. All creatures die permanently at midnight the day they were raised.
977 Character ascends to a higher dimension, learns how to exist in this dimension, and then instantly pops back into the material plane with no memory of the event. (May have made friends, or enemies in their time)
978 Character can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
979 The name and face of everyone the Character kills is automatically tattooed to their skin when they die.
980 Tomorrow, Character will save the life of whom fate has decreed must die.
981 All of the Character's criticals and fumbles are twice as effective as they normally were.
982 Character explosively sheds their skin once a month, starting now. (2d6 force/fire damage, 10 ft. radius)
983 Character's urine morphs trees into treants. They won't be happy you peed on them.
984 Character can swallow ores and defecate the refined material.
985 Roll again, the effect is thrice as strong. (Thrice as long, thrice as much, etc.)
986 Character can make a DC 10 + Animal's HD Will Save to make mundane animals fall unconscious.
987 Character reproduces by budding. (Still needs a mate)
988 Character can summon a magical gong at will and hit it for whatever reason they feel like. The gong doesn't do anything because it's a gong.
989 Character's only mode of transportation is the moon walk.
990 Character receives their diploma in Dilly-Dallying from the College of Substantial Whimsy.
991 Character has an hardcore aura. Everything they do is pretty hardcore.
992 The absolute most crazy and absurd things will happen to the party, but only when the Character isn't around.
993 Character can store normal sized ships in bottles.
994 Character is detected by any Detect spell.
995 Nothing happens. (What are the odds?)
996 The Character is aware that the next time they die, they bursts into flames destroying all flammable gear and is resurrected.
997 Character becomes best friends with an epic wizard that only ever comes around to ask for loans of money to fund his/her crazy ideas.
998 Character's left arm falls off, and is replaced with an incorporeal 'Karma Arm'. (If a creature has less hp than the Character has levels, the Character can make a touch attack to instantly kill the creature.)
999 Character's mind is blown. DC 30 Class Level save or their minds explode from realizing the answer to the universe. If they succeed, they gain their ranks equal to their class level in Knowledge (everything) checks.
1000/0 Character is divided by zero.



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