Grog of Substantial Whimsy (3.5e Equipment)

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Grog of Substantial Whimsy[edit]

Brewed from the talents of the finest senile wizards, the magic of chaotic absurdity now comes to the player at such a low price! It's mainly a tool used for adding quirks and perks to give the player's characters a little more PC!

The goal was to make magical effects that neither help or improve the PC, nor majorly stunt the player's ability to play.

Market Price: 30 gp

Each grog can at max have 4 effects. If the PC gets the same effect, the effect is canceled. PC cannot have the same effect twice in each individual grog.

Grog of Substantial Whimsy
D% Effects
1 PC suddenly remembers that they've been lying about who they are the whole time, and are actually someone else entirely.
2 PC becomes a reusable spell component. (any semi-competent mage will be able to notice this)
3 PC can Wish the death of one being, but will also die.
4 PC can access their brain by unscrewing the top of their skull.
5 PC's mouth lets out light, illuminating 5 ft. in front of the PC whenever it's open.
6 PC is unknowingly inducted into a secret society.
7 PC can speak with domestic fowl, but they tend to lie to him.
8 PC sees dead people who bother them a lot.
9 The PC, and the PC’s party learns the 5 minute ritual to summon the PC. (Just a pentagram, nothing fancy)
10 Roll again, effect behaves like an STI.
11 PC can summon a demon, but only has a 10% chance of controlling it. (Demons notoriously hate anyone who summons them)
12 PC can resurrect once per year.
13 PC forgets how to read and write. But will also be able to cast read magic at will.
14 PC becomes a dragon in a human form with the same stats as they had before, but has forgotten how to polymorph.
15 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as fast, twice as much, etc.)
16 PC can concentrate to have background music play for them. (DC 15) concentration, 1d20 rounds.
17 PC thinks magic is actually impossible, and won't accept it. Refers to it as "witchcraft" and "nonsense"
18 PC loses 1d2 feet in height, their clothes & armor amazingly still fit.
19 PC is now much more comfortable around the (un)dead than the living.
20 Any casted magic that affects the PC causes them to be soaked in lamp oil.
21 The next sword that hits the PC receives a permanent +1 bonus.
22 PC can no longer kill anything.
23 PC’s middle name becomes “Wonder Noodle” and must always say their full name when asked.
24 When PC is angry, their hair erupts into a cold flame.
25 PC gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
26 PC can exist comfortably in harsh environments for 10 minutes/day
27 Every week, the PC must sacrifice an enemy or gain a -1 penalty to all ability scores and saves, increasing by 1 every day that an enemy isn't sacrificed. A special sacrificial dagger appears in the PC's inventory and cannot be used for anything but a killing blow. It is also bound to the PC.
28 At the start of every encounter the PC must succeed a DC 10 Will save or roll for a new alignment.
29 PC’s organs will never fail, even if removed.
30 Roll again, the next living thing the PC touches also receives the affect.
31 PC's dream semi-manifest in reality. (Like warped trees, or obscurely built buildings. At DMs discretion)
32 PC gains Thaumaphilia, an intense fascination with magic.
33 Flowers grow out of the spots where the PC walks.
34 PC seemingly ‘walks on air’ and is permanently 5 inches above all solid surfaces.
35 PC becomes pregnant. Does not matter what sex, if any, the PC is. 01-49% = boy, 50-98% girl, 99-100% other. Will be a clone of the PC & a normal nine month pregnancy. Morning sickness & other symptoms apply as DM sees fit.
36 One of the PC's permanent effects or injuries are cured! If they don't have one, re-roll for one.
37 PC's bones turn to wood, and can live off sunlight. When they go up an age group, they go up a size category as well as receiving the penalties of aging.
38 PC can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
39 Can Rage 1/day (effect does not stack, roll again). PC turns green and extremely muscle-y. PC will rip through their armour making it worthless unless they get it repaired.
40 PC’s body becomes an orangutan. (no stat change)
41 PC forgets a random language.
42 PC realizes the meaning of life, but is unable to tell anyone else. They are also hunted by cults (and maybe gods) who want to know.
43 PC sprouts a tree on their head. Extends lifespan x5000. Tree will grow until too heavy for person, enveloping them and taking root. Person will become immobile tree. Retains personality and speech.
44 Lung capacity enlarges harmlessly. Can hold breath for 20 minutes.
45 PC is owed 1 favor by a random god.
46 PC thinks "They" are after them. Whoever "They" are.
47 PC's face has the same properties as catnip. (A cat allergy may be included at DMs discretion)
48 Arcane markings (Explosive Runes) appear on skin permanently, cannot be removed even if the skin is.
49 PC falls madly in love with random party member. DC 25 to get over themselves, can only make save 1/month.
50 PC’s dreams are replaced with visions of drinking a particular drink in a particular tavern.
51 PC becomes aware of how to process opiates and meth.
52 PC's stomach now functions similarly to a bag of holding.
53 When the PC is asleep, their consciousness leaves their body in the shape of their favourite mundane animal to fuddle about.
54 PC's shadow does not do the same thing as the PC. It is the same size, and does not leave no matter what time of day.
55 PC is haunted by nightmares of a lost island that holds extraordinary improbable animals.
56 PC gains an imaginary friend who tells them to kill everyone they meet.
57 PC can bathe in moonlight, and is squeaky clean the morning after.
58 If the PC punches an ally, they forget who the PC is.
59 PC switches ears with the next race they come into contact with. (Ears will shrink/grow proportionally for all involved)
60 The PC becomes either an herbivore or a carnivore. (50% chance of either. Any food of the other kind will induce vomiting)
61 PC can easily climb trees like a cat, or a monkey.
62 PC develops Thaumaphobia, an intense fear of magic.
63 PC can chop non-magical wood with their bare hands.
64 PC's age fluctuates ± 10 years each day.
65 PC's breath is a light flurry of snow.
66 PC cannot exit through the same way they entered.
67 PC can cast a random cantrip level spell at will.
68 PC lays an egg (regardless of gender). (What kind is DMs choice.)
69 PC no longer gives off any indication that they are alive (or undead). Is not detected by detect life or detect undead.
70 PC learns to understand the next language they hear that they don’t currently know.
71 If the PC hears their name, they petrify for 2d4 rounds.
72 PC's presence causes holy symbols to glow red. Including mundane ones.
73 When the PC is teleported, they cannot take any gear (clothing and equipment) with them.
74 When it’s cold, the PC can cut glass with their nipples.
75 PC’s presence makes jumping carp violent.
76 Fireflies swarm the PC at night, and does not gain bonus for hiding in darkness. (No penalties either)
77 PC cannot enter a room without announcing their presence
78 PC remembers the night a wizard plucked them from the pumpkin patch, and turned them into what they are now.
79 PC becomes soluble in rainfall. (Drinking liquids is harmless)
80 PC now owes their life to someone who won’t be born for centuries.
81 PC sprouts a 3 ft prehensile monkey tail.
82 PC cannot perform any action without announcing their name.
83 PC does not age while asleep. Increase lifespan by 1/3.
84 PC teleports 1 mile; stone replica appears in his place.
85 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as long, twice as much, etc.)
86 PC's clothes change randomly when attacked. (Armour is not affected)
87 PC's breath becomes combustible.
88 Last creature killed by PC is reanimated, and hunts the PC.
89 PC becomes aware that at death, they are resurrected with opposite alignment.
90 PC becomes very talented at making whittled spoons.
91 PC realizes that the universe was born in a huge explosion. Is allowed to start religion.
92 PC can juggle anything they can lift.
93 PC becomes addicted to casting the last spell they casted, and really enjoys casting it whenever they get the chance, or an excuse.
94 PC cannot enter a building without being invited.
95 Deludes PC into believing the grog functions as indicated by a second die roll (no save).
96 PC no longer has muscles. (But can do everything without them.)
97 Everyday when the PC enters combat, PC's sweat becomes a minor water elemental. 3d6 rounds, 50% chance of being hostile. Dissipates at midnight.
98 Any liquid consumed now produces the effect of the grog to the PC.
99 PC violently erupts into flames, burning off all of the hair on their body. Any hair that grows back is now fireproof.
100 PC suddenly recalls a past life where they were a destitute beggar who died, with no one to miss them.
101 PC teleports to where they had visited 24 hours ago.
102 PC's touch brings wilting flowers back to life.
103 PC can cast Detect Stupid at will. (doing so might only detect the PC)
104 PC can become a mount.
105 PC becomes a dehydrated water salesmen. (just add water!) (3 sp per can)
106 PC grows cat ears, and gains a dislike of water. PC also likes fish.
107 Whenever the PC is struck with magic, the surrounding 50 ft area shifts as though it were the opposite time of day. (actual time does not change)
108 PC can expel bodily gasses as a free action from the pores of their skin, and conceal themselves within their 5 ft. square. No effect on any adjacent squares.
109 PC can explode at will, reducing HP to 0. Explosion deals 1 point of damage per hit point in a 20 ft. area. Each time reduces max HP by 2 and disintegrates any non magical possessions including armour and weapons.
110 Roll again, effect can be brewed into a magical potion. (Ingredients are DMs choice)
111 Moonlight makes the PC look like a decomposing corpse.
112 PC's sneeze is now a gust of wind.
113 To PC, "Something pulls at your heartstrings, you feel as though you need to give the next person you see all of your money."
114 PC's next temporary effect (other than the grog) becomes permanent (and cannot be removed).
115 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as fast, twice as much, etc.)
116 PC sprouts a singing venus fly trap on their shoulder that sings when the PC is happy.
117 If the PC stares at someone, they are unable to look away.
118 PC gains a valve that has a coin slot attached to it. The PC can insert the valve anywhere, deposit the number of gp for a grog, and it will dispense it!
119 Doors that the PC opens sigh.
120 Whenever the PC is affected by any sort of magic, the fabled land-shark learns their current location.
121 PC gains memories of a past life of an insanely powerful epic wizard. Specifically when that epic wizard went to the future to (kill, maim, higher, talk to, have fun with, give an item to, warn, perform an action around, or spite) his future life (the PC) the next day.
122 A women walks up to the PC, and proclaims that she is the PC's wife (regardless of gender). (Children at DM's discretion.)
123 Whenever the PC sings, a wave expels out and fills the immediate 10 ft area with blossoming flowers, regardless of the PC's singing ability.
124 PC agrees with everything, even if it doesn't make sense, or is contradictory. PC’s personal beliefs are unaffected.
125 PC gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
126 The PC slowly, painlessly, and inconveniently turns to stone from the fingers and toes inwards. 1 limb per minute turn to stone. Can be removed by a remove curse. (Or reversed with a stone to flesh.)
127 The PC suddenly becomes aware of a nearby dragon treasure horde, the only problem is that the dragon knows that the PC knows.
128 PC gains once per day use of a spell equal to Cha modifier. (Use modifier for DC)
129 PC gains another personality that presents itself when the PC sleeps. (roll for alignment of other personality.)
130 Roll again, the next living thing the PC touches also receives the affect.
131 PC becomes a were-farmer.
132 PC grows a beard, 2 ft long, permanent. If it's removed in anyway, it grows back overnight.
133 PC naturally attracts bears, 60% chance of being friendly, but will not fight for him.
134 PC attracts floating animated hands. (Tend to steal possessions and hold them)
135 PC gains a halo, and will be revealed with a detect good spell, regardless of alignment or true nature.
136 PC attracts the undead and it's necromancers, friendly or not. (Usually not)
137 PC becomes an animated object version of themselves. (Takes damage normally)
138 PC gains reoccurring amnesia for 1d6 hours at the same time each day as the time when the grog was consumed.
139 PC realizes the exact location of a particular flower that becomes the PC's newest obsession. (The flower can be magical or not.)
140 PC’s body becomes an ostrich. (no stat change, can manipulate things with feathers)
141 PC becomes a rock and roll enthusiast, and always tries to get the nearest bard to play Freebird.
142 PC becomes a hermaphroditic version of their race. (if already so, re-roll.)
143 Whenever the PC is alone, they painfully transform into an strange bird-like thing. The PC instantaneously reverts to normal if another person or creature goes near them or sees them.
144 PC slowly remembers their time at war each night, and is forthcoming about telling old war stories at the campfire.
145 PC’s esophagus can function as a scabbard that wouldn’t prevent movement, eating, talking, or breathing.
146 PC's mouth becomes a set of 4 tentacles 2 ft long.
147 PC has an intense need to narrate his actions/feelings and surroundings.
148 PC can communicate feelings through physical contact.
149 PC becomes a compulsive skinny dipper. Any water they swim in is treated as holy. (or evil, depending on alignment)
150 PC’s dreams are replaced with visions of killing someone they haven’t met yet.
151 PC becomes aware of a mundane object of his choice, and will only ever be comfortable with the object being around.
152 Whenever the PC falls more than 20 ft. they make a 6 foot whole in the ground in the shape of their body when they land. Falling damage applies normally.
153 Whenever the PC hears the laughter of children, they painfully transform into a troll, and revert when they’re struck.
154 PC knows the birthday of anyone they touch.
155 PC is haunted by the ghost of their childhood Saber Toothed Lolrus.
156 Roses replace the PC's hair. They grow at the normal rate of hair, and blossom when in season, giving the PC a temporary +1 to CHA.
157 Any fires set by the PC attract the undead like moths to a flame, whether they're friendly or not. (10% of being friendly)
158 PC grows a hairy tail, 3 ft long. Objects smaller than the PC’s hand can be stored in the tail.
159 PC appears to be an old black and white cartoon.
160 Roll again, and the PC remembers that they’ve had the effect the whole time.
161 PC experiences acute paranoia whenever they hear their name.
162 Whenever someone first strikes the PC, both them and the attacker rotate 180 degrees in the direction they’re facing, and are both considered flat-footed the first time it happens.
163 PC finds a kitten in their pocket. The PC falls instantly in love with the kitten as though under a charm effect, no saves. Anyone who sees the kitten is distracted for 1d4 rounds, even if they've seen the kitten before. Afterwards, they make a DC 13 fortitude save or be distracted for another 1d4 rounds.
164 PC has eyes in the back of their head. Can only use one of their pairs of their eyes at a time.
165 PC apologizes profusely every time they attack and/or kill something. Will otherwise feel the same way about fighting as before the effect.
166 PC gains lycanthropy. (Were-wolf)
167 For the next 1d6 weeks, every time the PC removes any head gear, a large white rabbit appears from underneath it. It is a normal rabbit. 01-50% Male, 51-100% Female. They will mate and produce offspring normally.
168 PC lays an egg (regardless of gender). (What kind is DMs choice.)
169 PC's only mode of transportation is the moon walk.
170 PC learns to understand the next language they hear that they don’t currently know.
171 PC becomes severely prejudice against kobolds.
172 PC gains a birthmark of nobility from a distant or made up country.
173 PC naturally attracts dire animals (DMs choice each time.) 50% of being friendly.
174 PC doesn’t stick to spider’s web. They can attempt to pluck spider’s webs.
175 PC can mesmerize non-magical animals they can see by dancing.
176 PC's mouth no longer opens when they talk, but words and sounds still come out as normal.
177 PC becomes addicted to the last substance they consumed before the grog.
178 PC remembers the night a wizard killed them. It’s a little fuzzy why and how they’re alive now.
179 PC compulsively swears whenever they pay anyone or anything a compliment.
180 PC realizes they’re an escaped slave whose owner is tracking them.
181 PC is transformed into one the last surviving member of an endangered species. (That strangely enough has the exact same characteristics as the race they were beforehand, other than appearance)
182 PC hears 1d4 voices in their head from now on.
183 PC grows another set of arms just beneath their normal ones.
184 PC does not have a reflection.
185 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as long, twice as much, etc.)
186 A hat appears on the PC's head. If it is removed, another hat appears under it. There can never be a point where the PC is not wearing a hat. Each hat can be sold for 3 cp.
187 PC's finger nails dispense magical ink, and can be used to scribe spells with.
188 Roll 1d12, at that time of day, the PC emits a powerful beam of light that has no effect other than alerting absolutely everything that can see it to your presence at that moment.
189 PC gains a D20 of Destiny, which the PC can consult at-will in-game.
190 PC becomes very talented at tomfoolery.
191 PC is able to summon an extra-dimensional kitchen to prepare any type of fancy food they want.
192 PC can balance on anything when they are completely naked. If touched with anything (including rain) the effect is negated.
193 Any object that's less than 1 pound within 10 ft of the PC begins to orbit around them. When the PC moves more than 10 ft away from the original spot of the object, they stop and return to where they were.
194 PC hiccups butterflies. 2d4 butterflies per round for 2d4 rounds when caught flat-footed (or surprised).
195 The PC’s feet cannot smell, and gets occasionally complimented for it regardless of the situation. NPCs are unaware of any compliments they give.
196 PC is able to kill stones with birds.
197 Any food the PC cooks is able to speak.
198 Any liquid consumed now produces the effect of the grog to the PC.
199 PC's brain is bombarded by stupidity. After 1d2 days of recovery, they can tell terrible jokes as a swift action, and causes sentient creatures to make a DC 17 will save or be stuck 1d4/level rounds pondering how dumb it is. Creatures are considered staggered.
200 PC suddenly recalls all of the circus training they received as a circus elephant in a past life.
201 Everytime PC snaps their fingers, a biscuit appears before them. It's a normal biscuit. Max 1d4/lvl biscuits per day.
202 PC grows an afro that can be used as a backpack.
203 PC cannot become non-magically dirty.
204 PC's presence boils any kind of eggs if within 30 ft, no matter what. (stay away from hens)
205 PC's hands and forearms are immune to acid.
206 PC can make a DC 23 will save to grow mustache out of sheer force of will.
207 PC's neck, arms, and legs become incorporeal, but their head, hands, feet and body do not.
208 Roll for new alignment.
209 PC no longer has weight. Automatically fails bull rush and trip saves. Is otherwise unaffected. (i.e. falling damage, load carried.)
210 Roll again, effect can be synthesized into a poison. (Ingredients are DMs choice)
211 Next profanity used by PC becomes a living, vile entity.
212 PC believes anything shiny can be used as money.
213 PC's skull becomes diamond. (does not affect their ability to live or grow)
214 PC is allergic to the opposite gender.
215 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as fast, twice as much, etc.)
216 PC's skin is burned by moonlight. 1d4 dmg/round
217 PC naturally attracts deinonychus' (raptors). 40% chance of being hungry.
218 PC is always right about the best choice for the interior decor of any room.
219 PC cannot be killed with rope.
220 Any casted magic that affects the PC causes an extremely blasphemous tattoo to appear.
221 PC's soul can leave their body and haunt any inanimate objects (weapons, lamps), but is fatigued when they return to their body.
222 PC is nourished by grass instead of food. (All other foods make them vomit.)
223 With exception to the eyes and brain, the PC begins to harmlessly decompose. (Is not undead, no longer eats)
224 PC can shoot any thin elongated object as arrows. PC takes a -4 to attack bonus when using them.
225 PC gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
226 PC’s body parts are replaced with fake ones. (PC has an urge to go find their original body)
227 PC can summon the undead. 40% chance of controlling it. Anything summoned disappears at midnight.
228 PC receives a participation trophy, with “You Tried” engraved on it.
229 PC's heart becomes clockwork. It must be wound every 24 hours or else it stops. If it stops, PC's hit points drop to -1, and are restored to full if it's rewound. PC's eyes become removable pearls, retain normal sight.
230 Roll again, the next living thing the PC touches also receives the affect.
231 PC's hair becomes a very large powdered white wig. PC also gains a gavel.
232 PC teleports 1d20 years into the past, in the same spot. The same amount of years later, they walk into the bar and watch themselves disappear.
233 PC enjoys a good game of chess with only mirrors as his opponent.
234 Everyone no longer can take the PC seriously.
235 The only male name the PC is able to pronounce is Gary.
236 PC's touch can drain hit points, but loses the same amount.
237 PC is awake and alert the instant they wake up, regardless of how many hours they slept. Can also never be hungover.
238 PC can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
239 PC becomes perverted, and stares at other PC's unmentionables quite blatantly.
240 PC’s body becomes a panda. (no stat change)
241 PC attempts to devour kobolds on sight.
242 PC constantly sounds like a grandma, using the terms "pooky" and "schnookums" regardless of the situation. PC pinches cheeks too.
243 Once per day, the PC can transform a segment of wall into a door.
244 Within 5 ft of the PC is always 10 degrees colder.
245 PC is now continuously tempted by demons in their sleep.
246 PC will become addicted to the next substance they consume.
247 PC becomes a were-saxophone player.
248 PC gains devil horns, and will be revealed with a detect evil spell, regardless of alignment or true nature.
249 PC gains fangs, but not a bite attack.
250 PC’s dreams are replaced with visions of being a hunted animal running from poachers.
251 Gain pet rock familiar.
252 PC can speak with plants once per week. (equivalent to succeeding a Gather Information or Knowledge nature of 15 DC)
253 PC's hands double in size, and can use weapons one size category larger than the PC with no penalties.
254 PC becomes extremely trusting of a random base race.
255 PC learns to brew diet healing potions. (Does not actually heal)
256 PC's backpack disappears, and can just pull out items from behind their back, as long as they can carry it.
257 PC can use and throw vegetables to cast bolts of magic missile. Each vegetable is one bolt. (treated as spell, not thrown object)
258 PC switches eyes with the next creature with eyes they come into contact with. (Eyes will shrink/grow proportionally for all involved)
259 PC grows a second head that has a separate personality.
260 Any meal prepared by the PCs result in a gourmet lobster meal that, although looks delicious, doesn’t taste very good. (Regardless of the ingredients used)
261 PC can not exist any further away than 50 ft. of a random party member.
262 People with magic naturally distrust the PC.
263 PC's bones become unbreakable. But will take damage normally.
264 Whenever the PC receives a critical with a weapon, the weapon breaks. (after taking damage)
265 PC's jaw splits in two, but can talk normally.
266 PC is only seen as a silhouette.
267 Every hour, PC has a 30% chance of falling asleep. PC can be woken up normally, or will otherwise sleep for 8 hours.
268 PC lays an egg (regardless of species). (What kind is DMs choice.)
269 When the PC leaves the ground, they become twice as heavy. (Take twice as much fall damage)
270 PC learns to understand the next language they hear that they don’t currently know.
271 PC's palms and fingers become immune to fire.
272 It rains outdoors whenever the PC is sad.
273 PC can use their index finger, and middle finger as a functional pair of scissors.
274 PC gains once per day use of a spell equal to Cha modifier. (Use modifier for DC)
275 Any number of hands will sprout from the PC’s body as long as there is another hand left to shake, pat on the shoulder, etc.
276 If an insect comes in contact with a PC, it's size becomes the same size category of the PC, and it becomes dire.
277 The PC's eyes move together to become one big eye.
278 PC remembers the night a wizard knocked them out, and turned them into a beautiful mermaid. It’s still fuzzy how they got to be what they are now.
279 PC gains a Tortoise mount.
280 PC recently took an inviolable vow but can’t quite remember it. (DMs choice)
281 PC becomes a were-human. (even if they're human, they turn into a different human)
282 PC comes down with a nasty infection from the Solanum disease. (Zombies!)
283 2d8 of PC's teeth turn to gold. Can be sold 2 gp each. (but must yank them out first)
284 PC believes everyone is an imposter of themselves.
285 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as long, twice as much, etc.)
286 Everything in the world becomes aware of who the PC is.
287 PC gains a prehensile tongue that can extend out 5 ft.
288 PC develops an intense fear of trees; they might be treants.
289 PC can run up walls and other flat surfaces, but if they stop or change direction, they will fall.
290 PC has a remarkable knack for teaching monkeys sign language.
291 PC gains sylvan as a language.
292 Whenever the PC witnesses a spell being casted, they must succeed a DC 10 + spell level Will save or roll for a new alignment.
293 PC becomes addicted to casting the last spell they casted, and really enjoys casting it whenever they get the chance, or an excuse.
294 PC can summon doors that when opened, lead to a random plane. They, however, cannot summon the doors when in a plane other than the material plane.
295 At the start of every encounter the PC must succeed a DC 10 Will save or roll for a new alignment.
296 PC's bones can be played like a xylophone.
297 Relatively shallow bodies of water split in a dry path whenever the PC walks through them.
298 PC enjoys a good meal of brains. They also gain very small memories from the brains they consume, and can make a Knowledge brains check (+10 normal DC) instead of any normal knowledge check.
299 PC's personal space collapses in on itself and implodes around the PC. After 1d3 days of recovery, the PC can no longer be crushed by any circumstance.
300 PC suddenly recalls a past life where they were a wizard’s familiar.
301 PC gives birth to a clutch of (DMs choice).
302 PC can increase the length of any hair by pulling on it.
303 PC becomes the central deity of a religious cult and gains followers. The cult can be based on anything the PC desires, (I.e. adventure, treasure, muffins...etc.)
304 PC is only nourished by alcohol. (All other foods make them vomit. Will become drunk as normal.)
305 PC's belly button can open to a 1 cubic foot pouch of holding.
306 PC's breath is always a visible smoke. (can fill a room over time)
307 PC can spend a full round action to succeed a DC 25 + HD of creature concentration check, to knock out one enemy.
308 PC is invincible to all magic, but only while asleep.
309 PC irrationally hates fungi. (stomps on them when they see them)
310 Roll again, effect can be alchemized into a salve. (Ingredients are DMs choice)
311 PC is knocked prone whenever they hear their name.
312 A doppelganger of the PC is instantly created 5 ft away from them. The creature pays its humble respect and wanders off to see the world.
313 Any shadow puppet the PC makes becomes a harmless living shadow of whatever it was.
314 Whatever the PC says appears in words that float around their head for a little while.
315 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as fast, twice as much, etc.)
316 PC loses 50 lbs.
317 PC can no longer answer a question truthfully.
318 PC will never remember their name.
319 PC’s pockets are now popular hangout spots for pocket gnomes.
320 Any casted magic that affects the PC causes birds to swoop down and groom them. (Like a crocodile)
321 PC's internal organs implode and compress into one super organ. PC looks only like skin and bones now. (is otherwise unaffected.)
322 PC shoots out fireworks (works as dancing lights) whenever they're struck.
323 PC gains a small doom cloud familiar.
324 PC's blood becomes pancake batter.
325 PC gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
326 PC will now age backwards. (from how old they are now.)
327 PC can no longer see a random party member
328 PC's hair stands straight up as if electrically charged. It frizzes and discharges electricity. PC's handshake is shocking and static electricity sparks appear on the PC's body now and then. (Harmless, but can get annoying to be around.)
329 PC can’t help but smile and giggle quietly to themselves at the misfortune of others.
330 Roll again, the next living thing the PC touches also receives the affect.
331 PC becomes irrationally prejudice of a random base race.
332 PC and someone who looks exactly like the PC are suddenly aware of each other.
333 PC becomes a were-tax collector.
334 Whenever the PC witnesses a spell being casted, they must succeed a DC 10 Will save or roll for a new alignment.
335 Within 5 ft of the PC is always 10 degrees hotter.
336 PC can whistle obnoxiously loudly.
337 When the PC snaps their fingers, a small scale resonance cascade occurs and summons an extra-planar creature (friendly or not) every hour for 1d4 days.
338 PC can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
339 PC's HP is instantly (and only) reduced to 1 if struck with an holy weapon, but is healed by unholy weapons.
340 PC’s body becomes a kangaroo. (no stat change)
341 PC has a grapevine constantly growing on them.
342 PC’s eyes can function like laser pointers.
343 PC is permanently dressed in a pristine Tuxedo. (Can wear armor over it)
344 PC's blood becomes a flourescent light blue, and glows in the dark.
345 Powerful spirits instruct the PC how to cook nice dinners in their sleep. It never turns out the same way when they try.
346 PC can fly by sticking their thumbs in their armpits and flapping very hard.
347 Everyone who first meets the PC says, “I’m so sorry” in a very concerned tone, although is not aware of saying it. The PC is also unaware of anything that would warrant this.
348 PC is no longer liked, nor hated by anyone. (a reset)
349 A random party member disappears and is replaced with a map to their location.
350 PC’s dreams are replaced with visions of being a wizard on the run from authorities, having discovered a terrible secret.
351 PC's ghost is always viewing the PC's own actions in the third person.
352 PC becomes a very dedicated carnivore. (Enemies look tasty)
353 PC can use brooms to fly. (poor)
354 PC is now affected by magnets. They are not themselves magnetic.
355 Whenever a ranged attack misses the PC, it is considered they caught it with their teeth.
356 Whenever the PC hears their name, they are briefly struck by inexplicable terror.
357 PC can breathe in outer space.
358 Roll a 1d12, at that time every 24 hours (pm), the PC is struck by lightning. (if outside. 1d6 damage to PC, 4d6 damage to anyone within 5ft)
359 PC is able to sit on anyone’s head as long as the head is bald. (PC becomes as light as paper when doing so)
360 Any casted magic that affects the PC causes a wild surge.
361 PC's hair becomes a mohawk that’s as hard as steel.
362 PC's random body part becomes invincible. (Arms, teeth, etc; DMs choice.)
363 PC can only be healthy via cannibalism. (Maybe even a civil one.)
364 PC gets an amoeba familiar. (Will not multiply.)
365 PC evaporates water when they touch it.
366 A permanent image of the PC is left where they are standing right now.
367 PC is afflicted with Porphyric Hemophelia. (Vampirism.)
368 PC lays an egg (regardless of gender). (What kind is DMs choice.)
369 If the PC pours water on the ground, it will become quicksand.
370 PC learns to understand the next language they hear that they don’t currently know.
371 PC sinks in ice as if it was quicksand.
372 Whenever the PC enters a building, gravity immediately reverses orientation for them.
373 PC's teeth become precious gems, and cannot be removed while the PC is alive.
374 PC only cries blood. (Harmless)
375 PC can bring down holy judgement on small spiders.
376 PC does not have to touch objects to pick them up, but they must be in reach.
377 PC can cure any mundane illness they’re afflicted with by taking a bath.
378 PC remembers the night a wizard knocked them out, stole their gold, and forced them to eat their own shoes.
379 PC only bleeds rainbows.
380 PC sprouts a small, flaming wick atop of their head that can’t be put out. It burns brighter when they’re angry.
381 PC constantly hears the playing of a guitar in the distance. (and could be drawn to it)
382 If the PC is planted, they will grow into a tree that bears small fetus fruits that mature into babies of clones of the PC.
383 A random party member becomes infatuated with the PC.
384 PC's hands are reversed. (Like a rakshassa)
385 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as long, twice as much, etc.)
386 PC can only scry using a bald scalp.
387 Whenever the PC is struck in combat, the weapon they were hit with combusts, dealing 1d4 force damage to anyone in 5 ft. and 1 point of continual fire damage for 1d4 rounds. The weapon does not break.
388 PC's skin gains full body leopard print tattoos.
389 Random act of kindness! All of the PC's debts are paid, as graciously paid by whoever is sitting next to them
390 PC has a license for wild-geese chasing. (Ever been on a wild-goose chase?)
391 PC learns recipe of random meal, gains the ingredients to prepare it, and will not be satisfied until they make the meal in a decent kitchen.
392 PC has an extreme distaste for thieves and pirates.
393 The grog pours out of the PC's mouth back into the mug, refusing to be drank by the PC. (needs new potion)
394 PC's hair grows to touch the ground, and can be used as an arm.
395 PC is pulled into the earth where they were standing until only their head shows, and must be dug up.
396 PC does not sink in water.
397 PC's hair bears fruit during harvest season.
398 PC can become gaseous in direct sunlight. (Equipment can't)
399 PC's internal organs become extremely unstable and explode. After 1d4 days of recovery, PC moves past the need for their organs.
400 PC suddenly recalls a past life that was fairly normal until it ended abruptly as a sacrifice to a dark god. (It must not have worked, so the cult might try again.)
401 PC's eyes become removable pearls, retain normal sight.
402 PC is no longer able to sit or lay down.
403 PC can swim up waterfalls.
404 PC can inscribe markings into stone with their fingers.
405 PC is poisoned. (DMs choice of poison)
406 PC's eye sockets become pitch black. PC can see normally.
407 Any facial hair the PC has becomes self-aware.
408 PC can animate their own shoes to dance, but not while they're being worn.
409 Any water drank by the PC is instantly purified.
410 Roll again, PC becomes sick and the next effect becomes the main symptom. (DM may add any other symptoms as they like. 30% contagious to anyone who spends a day around the PC)
411 PC becomes best friends with the current president of the United States.
412 PC ages 100 years, and has 100 years added on to their natural life span.
413 PC can walk on clouds. (Getting to them is a different problem)
414 PC becomes unsure if they exist, often asking people if they really know who they are.
415 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as fast, twice as much, etc.)
416 PC gains a second personality. They can sort themselves out as they see fit.
417 PC's body is covered with fire like an everburning torch. (No harm to PC)
418 PC gains a voodoo doll of them self.
419 PC realizes they have died centuries ago, and doesn’t know how they’re here now.
420 Any casted magic that affects the PC causes a random limb to fall off. (Can be re-attached easily)
421 PC turns to stone for 1d4 hours whenever someone makes eye contact with them.
422 PC gains a permanent twitch.
423 When PC walks over a spot where someone died, they instantly know where it was.
424 The next thing the PC sits on will be able to fly. (poor)
425 PC gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
426 PC can cast any spell that's casted on them, once. Effect does not stack.
427 PC's mouth can open to twice it's normal size.
428 PC fails all diplomacy checks with the opposite gender.
429 PC can turn whatever they kill into small fist sized trophies.
430 Roll again, the next living thing the PC touches also receives the effect.
431 Whenever the PC falls they will always land on their face. (This includes jumping)
432 PC's hair becomes a hedgehog familiar. Hair grows back at normal rate.
433 When the PC's blood leaves the PC, it floats around like wax inside a lava lamp.
434 PC turns invisible when eyes are closed. Does not affect clothing.
435 PC no longer has a face, but can talk, eat, see, hear, and smell normally.
436 Any animal the PC touches will speak common for 1d4 + lvl hours.
437 PC's feet become hands. (+5 to climb when bare 'foot')
438 PC can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
439 Whenever the PC takes damage, they are immediately shoved 10ft. from wherever they received it from.
440 PC's body becomes an octopus. (no stat change, does not require water)
441 As long as the PC lives, a far off demon lord cannot return to life. (might be attacked by demon minions!)
442 PC knows how wise any creature they encounter is.
443 Any liquid the PC consumes becomes alcoholic. PC is also more immune to dehydration than most.
444 PC's skeleton removes itself from the PC's body without killing them, and runs away. It takes 24 hours for a new one to grow back. The skeleton is the same alignment as the PC, but has no desire to become friends with them.
445 PC is lectured by angelic figures in decency every night in their sleep.
446 PC's skeleton glows a fluorescent red that's visible through their skin.
447 PC cannot see the undead.
448 PC moves and falls normally underwater, but only if completely submerged. (PC will still have to hold their breath.)
449 PC's skin becomes soot black.
450 PC's dreams are replaced with visions of being a beautiful mermaid viciously devouring the bodies of sailors.
451 PC gains an aura of disagreement.
452 PC can impregnate any species. The offspring will be the impregnated species.
453 PC becomes best friends with the Grim Reaper. (They cannot ask for favors.)
454 Fruit sings if within 30 ft of the PC.
455 Whenever a PC enters a building for the first time, it will eject him forcefully.
456 PC becomes a were-tree.
457 PC is able to spell and scribe any word they hear in any alphabet. (Whether they understand it or not is a different matter)
458 PC can summon pillows at will, and they are extra fluffy. PC can summon at max one pillow per person in their party.
459 PC can swim in lava, but is still burned by normal/magical fire. If PC fails a swim check while in lava, they explode and melt horribly.
460 Roll again, and the PC remembers that they’ve had the effect the whole time.
461 Whenever the PC closes their eyes, they see the place where they used to live. It would be a shame if it burned down or something....hehehe...
462 PC can move statues as though they were opposable.
463 PC loses all hair on their body.
464 PC can read books by flipping through them quickly.
465 PC is burned by the touch of the opposite gender.
466 Whatever the PC touches has to agree with them, but can still physically resist them.
467 PC is only nourished by the souls of who they slay. (All other foods make them vomit.)
468 PC lays an egg (regardless of gender). (What kind is DMs choice.)
469 PC tastes like chocolate.
470 PC learns to understand the next language they hear that they don’t currently know.
471 Any plant the PC plants will grow in one day, but will never blossom or bear fruits or vegetables until it normally would anyway.
472 PC attracts kobolds.
473 PC learns one mundane song that they can play on any instrument.
474 Fires whisper sweet nothings to the PC, encouraging them to succeed.
475 Ethereal strings appear to be attached to the PC’s limbs and head, that extend upwards for a foot before trailing off.
476 PC can no longer use outhouses to go to the bathroom.
477 PC's soul cannot leave the material plane.
478 PC remembers the night a wizard knocked them out, and stole their heart and lungs. (They’ve been replaced with magical wooden replicas)
479 PC's tears are acidic. The PC is not burned by them.
480 PC suffers intense pain whenever they enter a temple or church, regardless of the deity.
481 PC will possess whatever kills them for 1d8+lvl days.
482 The next enemy the PC meets will become friendly, but only to the PC.
483 Every fruit the PC touches turns to glass.
484 PC now has commitment issues. If they already had them before, they’re now more secure in their relationships.
485 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as long, twice as much, etc.)
486 PC will win every coin flip they do.
487 PC can bring anything they've killed back to life. It will become permanently hostile to the PC regardless. (PC cannot gain experience this way)
488 Any creature the PC kills evaporates. (Not equipment)
489 Any change in HP of the PC floats away as numbers when it happens.
490 PC is a champion pillow fighter. (but only with pillows)
491 PC's urine can revive plant life.
492 The PC is now burned by cold, and frostbitten by fire.
493 PC becomes addicted to casting the last spell they casted, and really enjoys casting it whenever they get the chance, or an excuse.
494 PC now speaks in bad action movie one-liners.
495 PC can crack open any kind of nut or seed in their hand.
496 PC's fingers grow twice as long.
497 PC can set water on fire.
498 PC's hair becomes porcupine quills.
499 PC seizes violently, becoming painfully statically charged. After 1d4 days of recovery, PC becomes a sustainable power source for any electrical equipment, regardless of if there is any.
500 PC suddenly remembers a past life where they were a flightless bird that was experimented on, and criticized everything the experimenters did.
501 PC gives birth to a brood of (DMs choice).
502 PC glows a shade of gold in the presence of magic, and magical ore.
503 PC eyes never close.
504 PC can use carrots as daggers.
505 PC's tongue becomes a harmless snake, and talk normally.
506 PC's urine is extremely acidic. (does not harm PC)
507 PC falls in love with the next enemy they see.
508 Everytime the PC whistles, an eagle will swoop down and land on the PC's shoulder, and stare at whatever the PC stares at. It leaves if the PC enters combat.
509 PC believes the next humanoid they see is their son and/or daughter and/or other.
510 Roll again, effect can be transmitted through bodily fluids. (Urine, saliva, blood…)
511 PC gains a political committee designed to elect the PC to a fictional political office.
512 PC's skin turns red when it's hot, and blue when it's cold.
513 PC is haunted by the ghost of everything they slay.
514 It is always assumed that the PC killed their parents. (Whether or not it's true)
515 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as fast, twice as much, etc.)
516 PC's pockets has an unending supply of Cuban cigars. Cannot be sold. (Only given away graciously)
517 PC is only able to enter rooms through dramatic actions.
518 PC attracts insects of any size.
519 PC always appears to be riddled with bullet holes. (Does not bleed from holes)
520 Any casted magic that affects the PC causes an anvil to chain itself to the PC’s leg. (Break DC 17)
521 The next wild mundane animal the PC sees, becomes domesticated to the PC.
522 PC gains the profession Air Guitar skill. By strumming the air, the noises of a guitar are created. PC may attempt to dazzle and stun anyone within range of his voice with a wicked guitar solo as a full round action. Fortitude save DC 10 + PC's Air Guitar skill bonus.
523 PC can only hear their base language backwards.
524 PC's presence causes frost to form, but won't freeze anything.
525 PC gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
526 PC gains a new hairstyle every day.
527 PC is attracted to them self.
528 PC grows fur on their entire body.
529 PC glows an eerie green for 3 seconds when their bellybuttons are pressed.
530 Roll again, the next living thing the PC touches also receives the effect.
531 PC can only communicate by saying their name over and over, and the party are the only ones who understand them. This includes past and future party members.
532 No matter what the PC says, anyone who hears them will think they are attempting to seduce them.
533 PC is intensely afraid of prostitutes.
534 Whenever the PC witnesses a spell being casted, they must succeed a DC 10 Will save or roll for a new alignment.
535 PC is extremely flexible, to an inhuman point.
536 PC gains a permanent twitch.
537 PC can use weapons as musical instruments.
538 PC can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
539 Doors attack the PC if they attempt to walk through them. (Wood: +3 1d6+2 smash attack. Metal: +3 2d6+3 smash attack. Stone: +2 2d8+4 smash attack.)
540 PC's head becomes that of a velociraptor. (gains bite attack)
541 PC has a powerful urge to punt anything in the tiny size category or smaller.
542 PC gains opposable feet.
543 PC's sweat releases an eerie blue smoke.
544 PC's eyes become similar to an octopus, and can see underwater perfectly for 60 ft.
545 PC makes their own god up and worships it. (It also exists due to it being worshiped.)
546 PC’s pupils look like galaxies, with infinite detail.
547 PC is no longer able to reproduce in any way.
548 Magical items are drawn to the PC like a powerful magnet and activate once they hit the PC. (Reflex DC 15 to avoid setting them off)
549 PC's nose glows blue when they pass near underground wells of water.
550 PC's dreams are replaced with visions of being a virtuous ascetic nurse taking loving care of the sick, eventually dying of the sickness themselves.
551 PC has a 10% chance of impregnating any creature with a normal grapple.
552 PC becomes obsessively hygienic.
553 PC can digest bones.
554 PC grows animal horns. (DMs choice of moose, rams, etc.)
555 Any mount ridden by the PC suffers no fatigue while they ride it.
556 PC gains own shadow as familiar. (see shadow monster)
557 PC becomes chronically pooped on by anything that flies.
558 PC's nails fall off, and can be planted to grow any type of flower the PC wants. (Instantly)
559 PC can shoot spider webs out from their fingertips when outside of combat.
560 Any casted magic that affects the PC causes a wild surge.
561 PC gains a permanent pair of glasses.
562 PC can remove any curse, by only receiving it them self.
563 PC can melt non-magical ice with their touch. They do not give off any extra heat.
564 All liquids the PC consumes become caffeinated.
565 PC can make a DC 15 Concentration check to summon the nearest bird, friendly or not.
566 PC's feet becomes invincible, but they can still feel pain.
567 PC becomes physically attracted to weapons.
568 PC lays an egg (regardless of gender). (What kind is DMs choice.)
569 PC becomes feral when their food is at stake.
570 PC learns to understand the next language they hear that they don’t currently know.
571 PC gains antennae on their head.
572 When the PC is drunk, they can succeed a DC 17 fortitude save to release a stream of fire with a mighty burp. 10 ft line, 1d4 fire damage.
573 PC becomes physically attracted to mundane animals.
574 PC can make snowballs out of water.
575 PC always wins at Rock, Paper, Scissors.
576 PC is physically teleported to alternate planes in their sleep, but return to the material plane when they wake up.
577 PC harbors an extreme distaste for sailors.
578 PC can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
579 PC's voice of reason becomes an invincible squirrel that no one else can see.
580 PC grows a ponytail of feathers all the colour of the rainbow. It makes for wonderful plumage.
581 A bright round sphere looking object appears over the PC's head whenever they get an idea, or remember something.
582 The next enemy the PC meets becomes directly related to the PC, 40% chance of being friendly.
583 The entire party is pulled into the PC's dreams whenever the PC is asleep.
584 PC's hair becomes smoke.
585 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as long, twice as much, etc.)
586 PC's hair becomes a chicken that insists on sitting on their head. The chicken is immune to damage, and does not leave the PC's head.
587 Whenever it rains, the PC is always at the end of the rainbow.
588 PC can only communicate with cat noises. (PC can talk normally to any feline)
589 PC mistakes every woman they meet for the first time as their farming wife Charlotte.
590 PC is able to dig graves with surprising amounts of gusto.
591 PC can make a DC 15 Concentration check to summon the nearest bird, friendly or not.
592 The PC's evil twin from a parallel dimension materializes next to them.
593 PC gains a gambling addiction, and has magically bad luck.
594 Every night, an intelligent woodchuck appears to tell the PC stories as they fall asleep.
595 PC can use arrows without a bow. Instead they throw them. Use the stats of a short bow.
596 Vines grow over the PC whenever they're asleep.
597 PC permanently smells like a fresh ocean breeze. People might reminisce about their romantic experiences on beaches or boats.
598 PC's head becomes invisible.
599 A Boeing 747 commercial airliner crashes nearby. (DMs Choice as to what the plane's cargo was.)
600 PC suddenly recalls a past life where they were an animal being worshiped in ancient times.
601 Only the top half of the PC is visible.
602 PC's touch leaves permanent black marks on any type of skin, except for their own. They also become great skin artists.
603 PC can grow herbs on themselves harmlessly.
604 Once per day, the PC can grant one mundane animal an INT score equal to their own, that goes away at midnight.
605 PC's hair grows 3x quicker now.
606 PC's fingers become a key ingredient to making a brew that can cure any and all diseases and poisons, magical or otherwise. PC is aware of the recipe. 1 finger per brew.
607 PC grows 1d4 extra fingers on both of their hands.
608 PC becomes homophobic, but becomes extraordinarily attractive to members of the same gender.
609 PC can swap places with one party member at-will.
610 Roll again, PC gains the ability to cook the effect into a meal. (Ingredients are DMs choice)
611 PC finds a dagger in their boot. (A +1 Dagger of Substantial Importance!)
612 PC can only pee upon other people's legs.
613 The next enemy the PC attacks becomes their reoccurring arch enemy that will plot dastardly schemes to destroy the PC and take over the world!
614 PC's belly button can open to a 1 cubic foot pouch of holding.
615 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as fast, twice as much, etc.)
616 PC learns the spell Teach Esperanto, which will automatically teach Esperanto to the subject. Can cast at-will.
617 PC gains an un-summonable glacier familiar.
618 Next profanity used by PC becomes a living, vile entity.
619 Any mundane creature the PC hugs becomes a plush doll version of itself for the duration the PC hugging it. (the animal cannot be harmed while plush)
620 Any casted magic that affects the PC causes it to snow in the immediate area.
621 Whatever the PC kills harmlessly explodes and splatters everywhere. (People, doors, etc.)
622 Whenever the PC wakes up, they are in a coffin where they had went to sleep.
623 The PC can only speak in their base language backwards.
624 PC gets strange blisters that pop like bubble wrap on their arms. When they pop, they make different musical notes. They're not unsightly, just weird.
625 PC gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
626 PC's joints are reversible.
627 PC's hands can be unscrewed from their wrists.
628 PC can remember their name, and that's about it.
629 PC becomes a witch, and might encounter witch hunters.
630 Roll again, the next living thing the PC touches also receives the effect.
631 PC can use fruits as musical instruments.
632 PC's hair turns white in the presence of magic. (If it's white to begin with, it turns a girly pink, complete with bows and ribbons.)
633 PC's twin shows up, and is similar in every aspect except that their alignment is one step above or below the Characters.
634 PC is sexually attracted to fire.
635 PC is believed to be a doomsday weapon. (May be sought after by kings and nations.)
636 When the PC sleeps, the grass either grows in 160 sq ft area around the PC, or the existing grass grows ten times it's normal size.
637 PC's pockets spawn mundane playing cards one at a time.
638 PC can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
639 PC gains a key that can open their chest cavity harmlessly like a cabinet door.
640 PC’s body turns into a troglodyte. (no stat change)
641 PC can dance with bears, whether they're hostile or not. PC must make a Wisdom save DC 10 + bear's HD.
642 A bottomless well is created next to the PC.
643 Whatever object the PC sits on can be piloted. (Fly, 30 ft. poor.)
644 When PC touches glass, they move through it like water. (Glass reforms.)
645 PC now worships an Egyptian god.
646 When the PC snaps, it sounds like a church bell. (As loud as a snap)
647 PC gains an aura of incredulity. Everything the PC does seems incredulous.
648 PC gains the knowledge of how to weaponize the grog, by imbuing it into a rod of wonder. The effects have a 50% chance of affecting the PC, or the target.
649 PC's eyebrows grow twice their size and permanently cover the PC's eyes.
650 PC’s dreams are replaced with visions of being an enormous force of pure evil slaughtering innocents.
651 Whenever the PC is struck, a mundane creature will appear in their clothing. (rabbits, snakes, birds, etc.)
652 PC is detected by Detect Undead.
653 PC is constantly mistaken for an extremely evil demon.
654 Wildlife brings the PC food periodically.
655 PC didn’t actually exist prior to drinking this grog.
656 PC's touch leaves permanent red blood splatter.
657 PC can hear the thoughts of a random party member.
658 PC has random manias of superb mathematical genius, but after 1d4 rounds, won't be able to understand what they had just said or done. During the mania, the PC's brain doubles harmlessly in size.
659 PC is a were-construct.
660 Any casted magic that affects the PC causes a wild surge.
661 PC's weapons are permanently bound to them.
662 An owlbear appears, runs toward the PC and hugs them for 1d4 rounds before disappearing. It automatically succeeds on its touch attack and all grapple checks. It attacks anyone who tries to harm the PC it is hugging. This happens at the same time everyday. Even if the bear is in combat, it will still disappear after 1d4 rounds.
663 Whenever the PC sleeps, a bed of cabbages grows under them over night.
664 It snows whenever the PC is sad.
665 When the PC snaps their fingers, a apple appears before them. It's a normal apple. Max 1d4/lvl per day.
666 A furious demon portal is opened up directly in front of the PC, and a monster of unspeakable horror named Howard suddenly sparks into existence.
667 PC can teleport from the bottom of any freshwater lake to the bottom of any other freshwater lake.
668 PC lays an egg (regardless of gender). (What kind is DMs choice.)
669 PC's jaw becomes removable.
670 PC learns to understand the next language they hear that they don’t currently know.
671 PC receives mail from a long distance significant other periodically by Marvin the Mailman. (He's a mailman)
672 PC is extremely prejudice against fruits and vegetables.
673 PC gains an Easter Island head familiar. When it's summoned, it sits there and creeps everyone out.
674 PC gains once per day use of a spell equal to Cha modifier. (Use modifier for DC)
675 PC gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
676 PC can steal one prepared spell from grappled spell casters that doesn't exceed their Int modifier.
677 PC's thumb turns greens, and can cause plants to grow at a rapid rate, but cannot exceed their normal size.
678 PC can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
679 PC can remove their face like a mask.
680 PC’s heart will never stop beating, even if removed.
681 PC thinks any form of eating meat is a crime against nature.
682 PC's mouth is stuck in a permanent smile.
683 PC's right arm is interchangeable with any other creature's right arm. (PC can remove right arms harmlessly)
684 PC grows an extra finger and toe on each hand and foot. (No effect if PC lacks hands and feet.)
685 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as long, twice as much, etc.)
686 PC can speak the language of the next mundane animal they meet.
687 PC is able to shove their foot up any butt, regardless if it fits or not. It deals pride damage.
688 PC only requires sleep 1d8 hours of sleep a night. (Re-roll every night)
689 Anything the PC wears turns to wood permanently, but retains all stats.
690 PC has an unusually good talent for trout tickling. (May be illegal in some areas.)
691 PC knows the Int score of any creature they encounter.
692 PC can use a baguette as a longsword.
693 PC becomes addicted to casting the last spell they casted, and really enjoys casting it whenever they get the chance, or an excuse.
694 PC is no longer able to get drunk.
695 PC physically regresses to when they were a child, but retains all stats and abilities.
696 PC can snap their fingers together and produce sparks like flint and steel would.
697 PC gains a second heart, and is able to hold their breath for 5-6 minutes before suffocating.
698 PC disappears and is replaced with a map to their location.
699 PC spontaneously ages 10,000 years. After 1d6 days of recovery, PC is physically otherwise in normal health and stats, but is still 10,000 years older. Lifespan continues as normal.
700 PC suddenly recalls a past life where they were a beautiful princess who lived an affluent, and uneventful life.
701 PC gives birth to a nest of (DMs choice).
702 PC gains insect like wings, and can fly. (poor)
703 PC gains 5 ft of height, but is not considered a size category larger. Stats don't change.
704 PC believes that all other races other than their own are aliens.
705 PC can use and throw fruit to cast bolts of magic missile. Each fruit is one bolt. (treated as spell, not thrown object)
706 Whenever the PC goes to the bathroom, small, harmless earthquakes hit the surrounding area.
707 Everytime the PC sneezes, an exact duplicate of themselves appears at least 20 ft away from the PC for 1d4 hours. PC must designate a mundane allergen that makes them sneeze. (Certain flowers, dust, mold, animals, etc.)
708 PC has a zipper on the front of their chest that they can unzip and show off the inside of their torso.
709 The next time the PC dies, they are resurrected as the race that killed them.
710 Roll again, effect can be bestowed through a ritual the PC suddenly learns. (Material components are DMs choice)
711 PC's shadow smokes as if it's on fire. (Not good to stay in enclosed spaces)
712 Any statue resembling an animal that is within 30 ft of the PC is animated. If it goes beyond 30 ft, it ceases to be animated.
713 PC can use wildlife as weapons. (but will drop in alignment when they do)
714 PC only bleeds sand.
715 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as fast, twice as much, etc.)
716 PC's voice drops an octave and echoes no matter what.
717 PC gains cat pupils, whiskers, and fur. (No low-light vision is gained, PC might tend to purr)
718 PC's skin becomes translucent, and observers are able to see tiny fish swimming around inside of the PC.
719 PC gains a spirit animal that appears whenever the PC is within 15 ft of fire. (DM’s Choice)
720 Any casted magic that affects the PC causes plant life to over grow in the immediate area.
721 PC's tears turn into jellybeans.
722 All fire that burns within 30 ft. of the PC turns the colour of their choice.
723 Any object the PC successfully breaks bursts into flower petals.
724 PC gains 100 lbs.
725 PC gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
726 PC knows the market value of any humanoid as a slave that they see.
727 PC attracts floating candles.
728 PC's eyes turn purple and gains an aura of purple. Anyone who is within 5 ft of the PC, including the PC, only sees in shades of purple.
729 Everytime the PC attacks a mundane animal, a second one appears next to it.
730 Roll again, the next living thing the PC touches also receives the effect.
731 Any fruit the PC touches becomes dried and preserved.
732 PC gains very dramatic looking battle scars and gains a +10 on all bluff checks if only relating to them.
733 PC becomes a ghost when they are in the rain.
734 Whenever the PC witnesses a spell being casted, they must succeed a DC 10 Will save or roll for a new alignment.
735 PC goes insane. They are convinced that they are nothing but constructs in a game played by unseen beings who determine their every move. They will babble incessantly about things like "stats" and "hit points". On the bright side, they gain an uncanny insight into the vulnerabilities and strengths of creatures they encounter. Effect lasts until the next time the PC sleeps. This experience stays with them forever.
736 PC gains 1d4 more eyes.
737 A talking rainbow unicorn offers to be the PC's steed. (Unicorn is Neutral Good)
738 PC can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
739 Whenever the PC is left alone in a building, the building burns down.
740 PC’s body turns into a medium-sized praying mantis. (no stat change)
741 PC can pick up flames in their hands. (like, scooping up fire and throwing it.)
742 When the PC dies, their ghost will haunt the party forever.
743 PC gains a pair of sunglasses that when worn, they become "too cool" for whatever action is decided. Does not effect hostilities.
744 PC cannot die in their sleep.
745 PC now worships an Greek god.
746 PC's hands never leave their sleeves. (PC also permanently wears long sleeve shirts.)
747 PC becomes aware of a certain group of people who've managed to travel back in time. (No one in particular, it's DMs choice really)
748 With a DC 15 search check, the PC can find random dinosaur plushies hidden in the environment. They're worthless, but they have strange sentimental value.
749 Whatever the PC is sitting on right now becomes their property.
750 PC’s dreams are replaced with visions of an ancient temple where a magic artifact is sealed.
751 Whenever the PC hears their name, a random flower sprouts somewhere on their person.
752 PC's presence causes vegetables within 30 ft. to sing.
753 PC gets accepted into the University of their choice.
754 PC's left arms swaps with the last humanoid they touched.
755 PC finds a compelling but incomprehensible magical tome in their inventory.
756 PC has a giant round hole in their chest. (Harmless)
757 PC's footsteps sound as though they were 3 size categories larger.
758 PC gains a locked bulletproof suitcase that's permanently chained to their left wrist. (Contains some very powerful information, too bad no known locksmith can open it)
759 PC permanently speaks Spanish, but gets subtitles.
760 Any casted magic that affects the PC causes a wild surge.
761 PC becomes a were-zombie. (If already a zombie, they become were-alive.)
762 PC now feels the need to route out the communists.
763 PC is now permanently afflicted with glitter.
764 PC will always smell like freshly baked cookies. Might attract wildlife.
765 PC gains a permanent smiley face button on their shoulder.
766 PC is cloned, but doesn't know where the clone is.
767 PC goes down one size category. (With no Ability Score change)
768 PC lays an egg (regardless of gender). (What kind is DMs choice.)
769 PC gains very well defined and shiny muscles, and can show them off as a free action. (Does not affect CHA or CHA based skills)
770 PC learns to understand the next language they hear that they don’t currently know.
771 PC gets a small unicorn horn that glistens in the sunlight. (Cannot attack with it, too small)
772 PC's feet attract snakes. 10% chance of being poisonous.
773 Whatever the PC kills becomes a tombstone.
774 PC gains once per day use of a spell equal to Cha modifier. (Use modifier for DC)
775 PC gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
776 PC attracts suspicious little red glowing dots. (Like a sniper...)
777 PC gains a butterfly familiar. (The PC doesn't know it's their familiar though)
778 PC can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
779 If the PC falls in love (truly), then whoever they love will mysteriously and spontaneously combust the next day.
780 To only the PC, puddles are always 10 ft. deep.
781 PC gains a pencil-thin mustache, a thick British accent, and an urge to lift one eyebrow.
782 Spectacular lightning strikes flares overhead when the PC's name is said.
783 PC looks like a ghost in the moonlight.
784 PC can make a normal swim check to swim through the ground. (Like getting to underground places) Failing the check results in entombment.
785 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as long, twice as much, etc.)
786 PC's whistle sounds like a contrabass saxophone.
787 PC can boils small quantities of water by staring at it for 1d6 rounds.
788 PC invents the Harpmonicsicordiphone.
789 PC breathes out harmless lightning clouds. Can shock/distract people.
790 PC has what it takes to be an Olympic-level vagrant.
791 PC goes down one size category.
792 When PC is submerged in the ocean, they transform into a blue whale. They must beach themselves to turn back. Their equipment expands to fit them.
793 PC's hair becomes as strong as steel.
794 PC no longer has a midsection. (Still eats normally)
795 At the start of every encounter the PC must succeed a DC 10 Will save or roll for a new alignment.
796 PC gains their own brain as their familiar. It can exist harmlessly outside of their body.
797 PC can breathe beneath only 5 ft. of water.
798 PC attracts whatever they are afraid of.
799 PC briefly glimpses into the chaotic omnicosm that underlies all reality, and gains some sort of inexplicable and incomprehensible wisdom as to the fundamental mechanisms of their existence.
800 PC suddenly recalls a past life where they were a cat on a boat that had a mysterious cargo.
801 PC petrifies all grass they walk on.
802 Whenever the PC leaves the ground, they become as heavy as paper. (Will fall normally though)
803 PC becomes intensely afraid of penguins. (Sphenisciphobia) (Penguins are not unknown to stalk people)
804 PC is nourished by charcoal instead of food. (Food harmlessly burns in their mouth while they chew, can not be used to bite.)
805 PC can pull their hand off, revealing a dagger attached outwards from their wrist. Their hand functions normally when sheathed and not.
806 PC can make a DC 15 Concentration check to summon the nearest bird, friendly or not.
807 Whenever the PC makes a fist, they become round spheres of steel. (Dmg 1d6 + Str.)
808 PC begins to lactate ale regardless of gender.
809 Whenever the PC takes damage, they must make a DC 13 Fortitude save or fall unconscious for 1d4 rounds.
810 Roll again, effect can be smithed into a weapon that imbues the effect onto whomever holds it. (Cheap materials, as well as a smith, are DMs choice)
811 PC is surrounded constantly by a personal 'bubble'. When it pops, it takes 2 rounds to reform.
812 Sand perpetually pours out of the PC's eye sockets when their eyes are open. PC sees normally.
813 A random limb becomes only the functioning skeleton of it.
814 PC can summon small versions of themselves that sit on their shoulders and argue with each other or other people.
815 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as fast, twice as much, etc.)
816 PC's burp becomes the mating call of unicorns.
817 PC becomes discretely stalked by a garden gnome.
818 PC's nose bleeds when anything venereal is discussed.
819 Doors will always hit the PC on the ass on the way out. (Tougher doors hit harder)
820 Any casted magic that affects the PC causes water nearby to become holy/unholy. (Depending on alignment)
821 PC is no longer related to anyone.
822 PC's blood harmlessly becomes sand.
823 PC's presence causes animals within 30 ft. to sing.
824 Once per day, the PC becomes encased in stone. DC 13 Strength to break out.
825 PC gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
826 Whenever the PC makes a joke, a laugh track plays in the background.
827 PC's HP is instantly (and only) reduced to 1 if struck with an unholy weapon, but is healed by holy weapons.
828 PC perspires rainbows.
829 Any door the PC tries to open instantly locks itself. (Can still be picked)
830 Roll again, the next living thing the PC touches also receives the effect.
831 Whenever the PC falls asleep, their clothes fly away and migrate south for the winter.
832 Anything the PC kills is personally escorted to hell by the Grim Reaper.
833 PC is now healed by mushrooms. (1d4 + Con modifier per shroom)
834 PC sprouts a singing venus fly trap on their shoulder that sings when the PC is happy.
835 PC is blinded, but can still see normally through sonic vibrations. (See Daredevil)
836 As long as the PC pets a creature, it is able to speak it’s mind.
837 PC gains 3 fox tails.
838 PC can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
839 PC's butt dispenses 10 ft. of rope per day.
840 PC’s body is permanently covered in mummy wraps. (no stat change, preserve body upon death)
841 PC can skip themselves off of water (10 ft.) with a DC 5 jump check, with each successive skip increasing the DC by 5.
842 PC sings manly songs whenever they're in combat.
843 PC becomes a were-sword.
844 A random party member can now hear the PC's thoughts.
845 PC now worships a Norse god.
846 Anything the PC kills becomes preserved forever.
847 If the PC touches a plant, it glows in the dark.
848 PC's right index finger (or equivalent) gives off a harmless red laser.
849 The souls of whoever the PC kills linger around them in the form of small heatless balls of purple-ish fire.
850 PC’s dreams are replaced with visions of being the last priest in a forgotten order.
851 PC gains a wombat for a mount.
852 Every time the PC is struck on the head with any force, they change to the opposite alignment.
853 PC releases extremely manly pheromones, regardless of gender.
854 PC's body hair is replaced with 3 leafed clovers. (Search check for a four leafed)
855 PC comes upon an invincible key that explodes anytime it is inserted into a lock.
856 PC no longer blinks, and always looks very angry. They only close when they're asleep.
857 PC can run across water, but if they stop or change direction, they sink.
858 PC's eyes are permanently covered with shadow, and are impossible to see under any light.
859 PC chooses an obscure food product. They become professionals in cooking it.
860 Any casted magic that affects the PC causes a wild surge.
861 PC can spawn a bag of marbles every day, that only they are able to touch. If PC loses the marbles, they take a -8 penalty to Int until they are collected, or a new bag is spawned. The bag disappears at the end of the day.
862 PC now has green, copper based blood.
863 PC does not cast a shadow.
864 A 60 ft wide snowstorm surrounds the PC for 1d4 hours every 2 days at noon.
865 PC is unable to talk around the opposite gender.
866 Any weapon the PC holds is able to talk, and is normally very eager to do so.
867 PC learns recipe of random meal, gains the ingredients to prepare it, and will not be satisfied until they make the meal in a decent kitchen.
868 PC finds their own baby. (What kind is DMs choice.)
869 PC gains a grand piano familiar. (Summonable at-will, at ground level)
870 PC learns to understand the next language they hear that they don’t currently know.
871 People with magic are physically attracted to the PC.
872 PC becomes a were-statue.
873 Continual fog empties out of the PC's ankles filling a 30 ft radius. 1 ft high.
874 PC gains once per day use of a spell equal to Cha modifier. (Use modifier for DC)
875 PC gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
876 PC can use wildlife as musical instruments.
877 PC can chop non-magical wood with their bare hands.
878 PC can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
879 PC gains 1d4 different voices that they can use interchangeably at-will.
880 Mysterious runes are visible on the PC’s skin in the moonlight.
881 PC becomes unnaturally fascinated with piercing their body piercings. (Can be replaced with magical ones)
882 PC's head can rotate 360 degrees around.
883 PC's brain becomes clockwork, and must be wound every 24 hours. Otherwise PC's INT drops to 0 until it's wound again.
884 PC can make a DC 15 fortitude check to cough up one lung. It grows back after 24 hours, until then, PC cannot run.
885 Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as long, twice as much, etc.)
886 Whenever the PC goes to sleep, they are kidnapped for the amount of time they rest. After which they are returned to the exact same spot, fully rested.
887 Around the PC, the moon appears to be constantly full at night.
888 PC hiccups bubbles. 2d4 bubbles per round for 2d4 rounds when caught flatfooted (or surprised).
889 PC is nourished by arguments. All other food makes the PC nauseous.
890 PC is a professionally bad dancer.
891 PC flips a coin to decide whether or not they should tell the truth. (Heads = truth, Tails = false)
892 PC can only read and write languages they do not know how to speak.
893 PC becomes addicted to casting the last spell they casted, and really enjoys casting it whenever they get the chance, or an excuse.
894 PC occasionally and inexplicably becomes in possession of random people's underwear.
895 At the start of every encounter the PC must succeed a DC 10 Will save or roll for a new alignment.
896 PC can sheath any type of sword in their forearm, and not be hindered in their movement.
897 PC gains a purple thumb that causes non-magical plants to whither and die.
898 As long as the PC has throwing knives, they can inexplicably pull them out of any where on their person.
899 PC fades into an existential quandary filled with angst and self-loathing. After 1d8 days of recovery, they will gain a perspective of persistent optimism, because nothing will be as a bad as that.
900 PC suddenly feels as though they are being remembered by a future life.
901 PC gives birth to a litter of (DMs choice).
902 PC's head is removable. It will remain active, as well as the body.
903 PC gains a talking tattoo. Roll for tattoo's alignment.
904 PC is able to lick an enemy to paralyze them for 1d6 rounds. Fortitude save DC 10 + PC's level negates.
905 Everytime the PC dances, a natural disaster happens somewhere. (2% chance it happens right where the PC is)
906 PC's consciousness swaps with a future incarnation from the 21st century. (No stat change)
907 PC can now directly communicate with their god, but cannot get help from them.
908 PC can identify any substance by ingesting it.
909 PC is burned by water, except when they drink it.
910 Roll again, the effect spreads to casters that cast magic on the PC. (Lasts 1 day/PC level)
911 From now on, whenever the PC meets a new person, the new person will only ever be able to dream about the PC.
912 Whatever the PC guesses will always be correct, but no one will ever believe them.
913 PC is able to be used as a great club by other characters in the same size category. PC takes half damage minus their armor bonus.
914 PC becomes a dragon in a human form with the same stats as they had before, but has forgotten how to polymorph.
915 Roll again, the effect is thrice as strong. (Thrice as fast, thrice as much, etc.)
916 It's now impossible to identify the race and gender of the PC. (May be referred to as a 'whatever')
917 PC is made of felt. (But takes all damage normally)
918 If the PC succeeds a DC 20 Wisdom save, the PC can marry any two creatures who automatically become non-violent towards each other, and produce a child hybrid.
919 PC grows 1d10 new and mysterious organs in their abdomen.
920 Any casted magic that affects the PC causes all nearby wildlife to double in size.
921 PC's singing attracts hostile creatures.
922 If the PC opens a closet, there will always be a dead body in it.
923 PC's middle name becomes "Danger".
924 PC can shoot anything with a bow that they can lift.
925 PC gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
926 Whoever makes eye contact with the PC cannot help but laugh.
927 PC gains rock-star like groupies that follow them everywhere. (Large mob) If they get killed, new ones take their place. They are only capable of cheering and trampling the PC.
928 PC can plane shift once per day, and move 5 spaces before coming back to the material plane. They have a 60% chance of bringing something back with them, and a 20% chance of it being friendly.
929 PC is severely allergic to intimacy. (Symptoms include head trauma and internal bleeding)
930 Roll again, the next living thing the PC touches also receives the effect.
931 PC is physically moved to tears whenever they part with any of their money.
932 PC is abducted by aliens, probed, surgically implanted with an unknown alien device, and is put back in the same spot about 10 minutes later.
933 Beneath the PC's skin, they become entirely robotic. They take damage and die normally, and don't feel any different.
934 Whenever the PC witnesses a spell being casted, they must succeed a DC 10 Will save or roll for a new alignment.
935 If the PC breaks a window, it sucks everything through it as though the other side was a vacuum.
936 Once per day, the PC can summon a stream of 600 butterflies to swarm themself for 1d4 rounds, blinding everyone including the PC within 40 ft. until they're dispersed.
937 PC learns every recipe there is to cooking and serving the slain bodies of their enemies.
938 PC can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
939 PC adds all ranks from Move Silently to Bluff, and instead says, "You can't see me, I'm hiding." for any and all sneak attempts.
940 PC’s body turns into a medium sized minotaur. (no stat change)
941 PC becomes a dimensional rift that alternate realities can enter through.
942 PC is possessed by a demon that acts the exact same way as the PC did beforehand. The demon is detected by Detect Evil, but is the same alignment of the PC.
943 PC becomes irresistibly cute, but only while on fire.
944 Once per day, the PC can vomit freshly caught fish.
945 PC makes their own god up and worships it. (It also exists due to it being worshiped.)
946 All Gods abandoned the PC.
947 PC's consciousness visits the modern era in their dreams, by taking the body of a future incarnation.
948 PC is abducted by aliens for 1d4 days. (DMs choice of what happens)
949 PC has a 30 ft aura of a full-moon. (Affects were-creatures)
950 PC’s dreams are replaced with visions of incomprehensibly horrendous Lovecraftian horror-terrors from beyond.
951 The Aurora Borealis are always above the PC.
952 PC is a were-warforged.
953 A giant robot from the future comes back in time and stands over where the PC is standing. PC could never possibly hope to be trained in piloting it though.
954 The PC is considered dead for the duration they sleep. When they wake up, they are resurrected.
955 PC finds a notebook detailing the way they were built in a lab.
956 Instead of sleeping, the PC is under the effects of internally produced lysergic acid diethylamide for the amount of hours they would normally spend sleeping.
957 PC becomes married to the sea. If PC already has a spouse, they will kill them and become a sailor. (Doesn't leave the party)
958 PC goes up one size category. (With no Ability Score change)
959 PC can make a DC 17 Will Save to grow a fabulous and amazing mustache.
960 Any casted magic that affects the PC causes a wild surge.
961 PC can make a DC 13 Strength check to punch into the ground and pull out any type of vegetable.
962 PC's presence causes bubbles to explode. 2d4 fire damage each.
963 PC ceases to age, but will die at the end of their lifespan.
964 Whenever the PC is cold or freezing, they become undead. When they are warmed up again, they come back to life.
965 No ship can float while the PC is on board, however, they can be sailed underwater.
966 PC becomes aware of a contract they have with the mole people to defile any gardens they happen to pass by. (Farms don't count, petunia bushes do)
967 PC's long lost fraternal twin will visit the PC soon.
968 PC lays an egg (regardless of gender). (What kind is DMs choice.)
969 PC degenerates into an earlier form of their race. (No stat change)
970 PC gains a random language.
971 PC can no longer speak unless they are touching someone, and can only speak in the languages of the person they are touching.
972 PC becomes permanently drunk.
973 PC has an aura of badass-itude.
974 PC gains once per day use of a spell equal to Cha modifier. (Use modifier for DC)
975 PC gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
976 Whatever the PC kills will come back to life as a zombie immediately. 50% of being friendly. All creatures die permanently at midnight the day they were raised.
977 PC ascends to a higher dimension, learns how to exist in this dimension, and then instantly pops back into the material plane with no memory of the event. (May have made friends, or enemies in their time)
978 PC can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
979 The name and face of everyone the PC kills is automatically tattooed to their skin when they die.
980 Tomorrow, PC will save the life of whom fate has decreed must die.
981 All of the PC's criticals and fumbles are twice as effective as they normally were.
982 PC explosively sheds their skin once a month, starting now. (2d6 force/fire damage, 10 ft. radius)
983 PC's urine morphs trees into treants. They won't be happy you peed on them.
984 PC can swallow ores and defecate the refined material.
985 Roll again, the effect is thrice as strong. (Thrice as long, thrice as much, etc.)
986 PC can make a DC 10 + Animal's HD Will Save to make mundane animals fall unconscious.
987 PC reproduces by budding. (Still needs a mate)
988 PC can summon a magical gong at will and hit it for whatever reason they feel like. The gong doesn't do anything because it's a gong.
989 PC's only mode of transportation is the moon walk.
990 PC receives their diploma in Dilly-Dallying from the College of Substantial Whimsy.
991 PC has an hardcore aura. Everything they do is pretty hardcore.
992 The absolute most crazy and absurd things will happen to the party, but only when the PC isn't around.
993 PC can store normal sized ships in bottles.
994 PC is detected by any Detect spell.
995 Nothing happens. (What are the odds?)
996 The PC is aware that the next time they die, they bursts into flames destroying all flammable gear and is resurrected.
997 PC becomes best friends with an epic wizard that only ever comes around to ask for loans of money to fund their crazy ideas.
998 Every time the PC levels up, they have a choice of switching to a different class of the new total level
999 PC briefly glimpses into the chaotic omnicosm that underlies all reality. After 1d10 days of recovery, PC gains some sort of inexplicable and incomprehensible wisdom as to the fundamental mechanisms of their existence.
1000/0 PC is divided by zero.

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