Cucumbers (3.5e Race)

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April Fools!
This content is not designed for use in regular games, and may affect overall balance and gameplay. Take caution when using this material.



You know... cucumbers.

Physical Description[edit]

Small and very comical to watch, these poor dilapidated Cucumbers struggle with their many physical limitations. Their short, stubby arms make the most basic physical activities virtually impossible. They are rather unappealing, with yellow sunken eyes and rough yet moist skin.


Cucumbers are mildly xenophobic, and as such they prefer to only associate with other cucumbers. They will, however, happily work with anyone not attempting to eat them. Little is known of the lands of the cucumbers and their relations, for they are a very secretive people.


Many of cucumber-kind have sworn themselves to neutrality ever since the holy war against the heinous bovine.


Any and every field.


Most cucumbers have abandoned their faith ever since their Lord and Deity, the Grand Cuke, forsook them during the War of the Bovine. Far too many valiant cucumbers were lost that day: It was a slaughter the likes of which men had never seen and are likely to never see again. The bovines waltzed into the cucumbers' encampment as they lay sleeping, and caught them completely off-guard. The cries of wounded cucumbers could be heard for miles as the cattle slowly trampled over the cucumbers' disoriented ranks. The cattle left as quickly as they had come, as their battle cries, resonant "MOOS!", struck fear into the hearts of any surviving cucumbers. They had prayed for salvation, yet no divine mercy came.


Common, Cucumberonian.


Larry... anything but Bob.

Racial Traits[edit]

  • +2 Constitution, +2 Intelligence, +2 charisma, −2 Strength, −2 Dexterity, −2 Wisdom. Cucumbers are hardy the smartest of the vegetables, and well liked for some reason. They make excellent salads (er i mean Druids). They are also weak, have slow reflexes, and are incredibly gullible. Cucumbers are not "as the kids say "winning".
  • Humanoid (Plant)
  • Small, +1 bonus to AC, +1 bonus on attack rolls, −1 to CMD, +4 to stealth checks
  • Cucumbers base land speed is 20ft (4 squares) Dig speed 20ft.
  • Camouflage +4 to stealth checks in gardens.
  • Spiked Skin +2 Natural armor
  • Immunities: Mind altering effects, paralysis, poison, polymorph, sleep effects, and stunning
  • Spell-Like Ability: Entangling roots, 1/day. Caster level is equal to the character level. The save DC is Wisdom based.
  • Automatic Languages: Common, Cucumberonian Bonus Languages: any except secret languages (such as druidic).
  • Favored Class: Driud.
  • Level Adjustment:1

Vital Statistics[edit]

Table: Random Starting Ages
Adulthood Simple Moderate Complex
years + + +
Table: Aging Effects
Middle Age1 Old2 Venerable3 Maximum Age
years years years + years
  1. At middle age, −1 to Str, Dex, and Con; +1 to Int, Wis, and Cha.
  2. At old age, −2 to Str, Dex, and Con; +1 to Int, Wis, and Cha.
  3. At venerable age, −3 to Str, Dex, and Con; +1 to Int, Wis, and Cha.
Table: Random Height and Weight
Gender Base Height Height Modifier Base Weight Weight Modifier
Male ' " + lb. × () lb.
Female ' " + lb. × () lb.

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