Antimatter staff (5e Equipment)

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April Fools!
This content is not designed for use in regular games, and may affect overall balance and gameplay. Take caution when using this material.

Weapon (Staff), Artifact (requires attunement)

The Antimatter Staff is created by pure happenstance. If you wish to include this item in your world, roll a d1000 at the start of every day, once for each plane. On a 666, the very foundation of the universe alters to create this impossible item. Until it is touched by any solid, it will float 100 feet off of the ground in the center of that plane. If one manages to attune to this artifact, they suffer the same effects as touching it.

Antimatter Anything that touches the antimatter staff immediately takes 50d20 force damage. If they were alive when they touched it, and they are still alive, their minds shatter as they experience the true knowledge of the universe crashing down on them. Their wisdom score increases by 10, and they gain proficiency with all skills. Unfortunately, they suffer from the effects of madness for the next 5 million years. This can only be removed by healing 500 hit points over the course of no more than 10 seconds. Thankfully, they have plenty of time to be cured, as they will not age while under the effects of madness. However, this matters not, because any sentient creatures that touch the afflicted creature also share in their madness. ADDITIONALLY, if this staff touches any plane, it will cause earthquakes, and over the course of 1 year, the entire plane will be devoured.

Antimatter Blast On your turn, if you are attuned to this staff, you may blast anything with antimatter. Deal 50d20 force damage. For any die that rolls a natural 20, roll 1 additional d20. For any of those die that roll a natural 20, roll 2 additional d20s. Any creature killed by this weapon is devoured by the cosmos, and nothing short of a wish spell can revive it.

Auntie Antimatter When a creature touches this staff, roll a d100. On a 100, they absorb the eternal power of the cosmos and become Auntie Antimatter, a being so powerful that any value associated with the creature may be multiplied by 10 at their discretion. Only Auntie Antimatter may wield the Antimatter Staff without being devoured by the cosmos.

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