Talk:Keldren (4e Race)
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 A Few Things
- Ability Scores: You should only grant 2 stats a +2 bonus, and never ever use a penalty to balance something in 4e (ie. no stat penalties).
- Languages: I think instead of "Sylvan" (which no longer exists in 4e) you want to use "Elven", and the additional wording should read; "choice of one other".
- Pack Hunter: This reads confusing, and may be overpowered. You may want to say; "You get a +2 bonus to attack roles when standing ajacent to an ally."
- Pack Intimidation: This may be overpowered as well. This should read; "You get a +2 bonus to Intimidation rolls when standing ajacent to an ally.". Honestly I would fuse this and Pack Hunter into one Trait, and call it "Pack Instinct".
- Primal Swiftness: This should probably be +1 to Reflex and Fortitude, and I would drop the restriction on needing to be outdoors. I see the attraction for fluff reasons, but it really is a stinker mechanically. It seems very much like balancing with a negative, and also tends to force the Player to avoid dungeons (and we don't want that).
- Animal Heritage: You should remove the "You can communicate with all animals." property (that grants a rather powerful class power as a toss in), and it should become a standard racial origin such as; "Your race is far more animal then man. You have the beast keyword, so you are considered a beast for the purpose of effects that relate to creature origin."
- Keldren Weapon Proficiency: You need an "and" between shortbow and spear. Also I was wondering if a ultra primitive race would have knowledge of bows. You may just want to scrap the whole "racial weapon" trait anyway. Again they are nice fluff, but mechanically weak (classes pretty much have access to enough weapon types that these become virtually unused).
- Primal Knowledge: Love it. This trait is what caught my eye in the first place.
- Traits: Races should not have more then 5 racial traits (you have 7 counting the racial power), with 1 or 2 being fluffy if you have more then 3. Animal Heritage, Keldren Weapon Proficiency, or Primal Knowledge might be considered fluffy. If you fuse Pack Hunter and Pack Intimidation into 1 trait and then drop Keldren Weapon Proficiency you would have the correct amount.
- Fluff: This race needs much more fluff. It feels like there is far more to them, and we just don't get it. Remember you "sell" your race to potential players in the fluff more then anywhere else.
- Thrill of the Hunt: I went ahead and created this version of the racial power card: I made some changes to balance it better, and removed the "Rage" keyword as it pigeon-holes this race into Barbarian if they wish to ever use it.
|Thrill of the Hunt||Keldren Racial Power|
|Your instincts kick in giving you new power.|
|Immediate Reaction||Melee or Ranged Weapon|
|Trigger: A creature in the encounter becomes bloodied|
|Effect: You can make a Basic Melee or Basic Ranged attack against any enemy within range.|
This power should also get a few boosts from "Racial Feats".
Thank you for your time. -- Sepsis 14:48, 13 April 2009 (MDT)
If your not going to balance this race, then replace the "Needs Balance" Template with the "Design Disclaimer" Template, so that you at least aknowledge (and warn) people who read this that it does conform to 4e design standards and they may need to do some work to ensure it stays balanced in their game. Also it keeps newcomers from hitting this entry early on and thinking we (the Wiki population) do not understand what a balanced race should be (that has a tendency to drive folks away, and to speak poorly of us). -- Sepsis 06:48, 29 April 2009 (MDT)
- I've changed a few things. I've fixed the ability score selection, dropped a skill bonus, removed a few traits (+2 attack was excessive; there should be no mechanic keyed on being indoors or outdoors; If shifters don't get the Beast keyword, then these guys certainly don't; races should never limit class choice.) Made further balance changes to the encounter power. Marasmusine 05:41, 6 January 2012 (MST)
- Still not happy with the trigger and effect of the power. Any creature getting bloodied is guaranteed to happen in any battle, and early. Perhaps change the trigger to read "You bloody an enemy."? Marasmusine 05:44, 6 January 2012 (MST)