Polka Thief (3.5e Class)
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 Polka Thief
A huge hit with the ladies, polka thieves play music, and band members always get the girls.
 Making a Polka Thief
The weak part of this class is being alone in combat. The strong part of this class is having a meat shield to buff, and dealing with traps and the like.
Races: Elves and halflings, those roguish fiends, are the most suited to being a polka thief. Dwarves and various orcs are not so well suited due to their low charisma, but could just be a surprise element. Who expects an orc to make music?
Alignment: Any non-lawful.
Starting Gold: 4d4×10 gp (100 gp).
|Saving Throws||Special||Polka Points Per Day|
|1st||+0||+0||+2||+0||Moxie of the Mariachi, Power of Polka, Sing||1|
|3rd||+2||+1||+3||+1||Magical Mojomuscular Melody||3|
|4th||+3||+1||+4||+1||Cletus's Canticle of Clerity||4|
|5th||+3||+1||+4||+1||Power Ballad of the Arrowsmith||6|
|6th||+4||+2||+5||+2||Polka of Plenty||8|
|7th||+5||+2||+5||+2||Fat Leon's Fat Loot Lyric||10|
|8th||+6/+1||+2||+6||+2||Brawnee's Anthem of Absorption||12|
|9th||+6/+1||+3||+6||+3||Psalm of Pointiness||14|
|10th||+7/+2||+3||+7||+3||Jackass's Symphony of Destruction||17|
|11th||+8/+3||+3||+7||+3||The Ode to Booze||20|
|12th||+9/+4||+4||+8||+4||Aloysius' Antiphon of Aptitude 1/day||23|
|14th||+10/+5||+4||+9||+4||The Sonata of Sneakiness||29|
|15th||+11/+6/+1||+5||+9||+5||Ur-kel's Aria of Annoyance||33|
|17th||+12/+7/+2||+5||+10||+5||Steve-Dave's Shanty of Superiority 1/day||41|
|18th||+13/+8/+3||+6||+11||+6||Carlweather's Cantata of Confrontation||44|
|20th||+15/+10/+5||+6||+11||+6||Steve-Dave's Shanty of Superiority||53|
Class Skills (8 + Int modifier per level, ×4 at 1st level)
 Class Features
Polka thieves play music. All of the following are class features of the polka thief.
Weapon and Armor Proficiency: Polka thieves are proficient with all simple weapons. They are also proficient with light armor.
Moxie of the Mariachi: A polka thief exudes moxie. As long as a polka thief has Polka Points left for the day, he has the benefit of evasion provided he is wearing light armor, or no armor.
Power of Polka: A polka thief gains special abilities that it can activate by expending Polka Points. The number of Polka Points per day is shown on Table: The Polka Thief. A polka thief gains extra Polka Points for a high charisma score, as shown below on Table: Bonus Polka Points. To use a polka tune, a polka thief makes a perform (any but sing or oratory) check. An additional round is added to the duration of the polka tune for every five points above 10 on the perform check. The polka tune affects all allies within 30 feet (including the polka thief). No one creature can be affected by the same polka tune more than once at the same time (he can't affect allies with Moxious Madrigal in one round and do it again for double benefits, but he can use Moxious Madrigal for +2 dexterity, and then use Magical Mojomuscular Melody to get a total of +2dexterity, and +2 wisdom). Using a polka tune is a standard action that provokes attacks of opportunity.
Moxious Madrigal : At second level the polka thief learns his first polka tune. It costs 2 Polka Points and lasts for 5 rounds. It grants a +2 bonus to dexterity.
Magical Mojomuscular Melody: At third level, the polka thief learns to increase his allies wisdom by +2 for 5 rounds, at the cost of 1 Polka Tune Point.
Cletus's Canticle of Clerity: At 4th level, the polka thief learns to increase the movement speed of his allies by 10 ft., and increase their Reflex saves by +2 for 5 rounds, at the cost of 2 Polka Points.
Power Ballad of the Arrowsmith: At 5th level, he learns to increase the strength of his allies by +4 and grant them +12 temporary hit points for 5 rounds, at the cost of 4 Polka Points.
Polka of Plenty(Sp): At 6th level, he learns to double food. At the cost of one Polka Point, he can make one pound, per five levels, appear.
Fat Leon's Fat Loot Lyric(Ex): At 7th level, he learns to increase the loot chance from encounters by +10 on each percentile roll if the DM uses the DMG random loot table, or an amount of gold coins equal to 1/10th of the value of the total loot found. This costs 4 Polka Points to use.
Brawnee's Anthem of Absorption: At 8th level, he learns to give his allies 2 damage reduction, for five rounds, at the cost of 5 Polka Points.
Psalm of Pointiness: At 9th level, he learns to coat his allies in retributive armor. For 5 rounds, whenever an ally is struck by a melee attack, the creature that attacked takes 1d8 piercing damage. This polka tune costs 3 Polka Points.
Aloysius' Antiphon of Aptitude(Su): At 12th level, the polka thief can spend 14 Polka Points to grant his allies 200 experience each. This ability is usable once each day.
Steve Dave's Shanty of Superiority: At 17th level, the polka thief can grant his allies +6 to all of their ability scores for 7 rounds, at the cost of 15 Polka Points. This ability is useable once per day at 17th level. At 20th level, the once per day restriction is lifted. A polka thief can use Steve Dave's Shanty of Superiority as often as he wishes, provided he has the Polka Points for it.
Carweather's Cantata of Confrontation: At 18th level, the polka thief learns to grant his allies +6 to initiative rolls(turn order is re-rolled when this is activated, and then re-rolled again when the effect ends), attack rolls, and damage rolls. This ability costs 19 Polka Points and lasts for 5 rounds.
Sing(Su): As a standard action, that doesn't provoke attacks of opportunity, the polka thief can sing at a creature causing unbearable pain. The creature must make a Fort save with a DC equal to 10 + the polka thief's level + his charisma modifier. If the creature fails the save it immediately loses hit points equal to the polka thief's character level. On the next 1d4 rounds it loses the same amount again. This is a sound-based attack. It requires the target to have some form of hearing. 5 or more ranks in Perform (sing) gives a +2 synergy bonus to the DC of this effect.
The Ode to Booze(Sp): At 11th level, the polka thief can spend Polka Points to temporarily transform alcoholic drinks into healing potions. The transformation lasts for 24 hours and then it reverts to its original form. It costs 1 Polka Point to transform it into a potion of Cure Light Wounds, 2 Polka Points to transform it into a potion of Cure Moderate Wounds, and 3 Polka Points to transform it into a potion of Cure Serious Wounds.