Jesters Blade (3.5e Equipment)
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A fool's blade and a blade made to fool
In the 3rd Century before the Common Year there was a king named Yoldun who ruled over a vast land. So vast was this land, that it was cared for personally by many of the gods. Yoldun, like any king, had a court jester whose jokes and ridicules amused him greatly. One of Yoldun's favorite tricks was having the jester prank the other members of the royal court. Now, the jester, who was a jester because he enjoyed the sport, found these pranks even more amusing than the king himself and one day decided that it would be so much more amusing to prank the king. So he did. The king was unamused and ordered the jester executed. The jester however was no fool despite his title, and fled, hiding in one of the castles armories because he knew the king would never look there. He was correct, the king did not look there. However, St. Cuthbert had been watching from on high and was unwilling to let the jesters transgression go unpunished. As the jester stood up from his place of hiding, St. Cuthbert poured the jester's very being into one of the longswords there and then laid a dire curse on it so that nobody would use the sword, and it would remain there forever useless and unwanted. However, the jester had other plans, and to this day uses his curse to continue to prank unwary adventurers.
The Jester's Blade is a -10 longsword which heals anyone the wielder considers an enemy and harms anyone the opponent considers a friend. If the wielder does not have any feelings for or against the subject, it either heals or harms (whichever is worse for the wielder). The damage healed or dealt is equal to that that would be dealt by a +5 longsword in the hands of its wielder. The weapon is intelligent and has the following stats Int:28 Wis:16 Cha:24. Its special goal is to prank as many people as possible (see below)
The Jesters blade can do the following each 2 times per day: Major image Locate creature Detect Thoughts Poison Dimension door (5/day) Confusion Fly
However, it will not do these at the wielders discretion, only when it feels they are important to its prank (see below)
It has an ego score of 41
 The Prank
The Jesters blade uses Locate creature and Detect thoughts to find adventurers who are caught in a hopeless combat situation and are in need of help. It dimension doors until it is near their location (but not in sight) and then casts major image directly in front of them to create an image of a column of light coming down from above and the sounds of holy chanting. It then casts fly and dimension doors into the column of light and slowly descends to the ground. It hovers at the victims chest height and then says "Come, take me and together we will be victorious" When the blade is taken the illusion slowly fades away. Once the victim gets into heavy combat, the negative effects of the blades curse are felt. The blade will not allow itself to be put down nor will it allow the wielder to stop fighting. If the victim is still winning the fight the blade will cast poison and confusion on the wielder and if necessary, force the victim into doing things that would give the enemy an advantage. Finally, when it seems the victim is about to be slain, the Jesters Blade laughs, and teleports away leaving its victim to be slain when it thought the blade could have saved it.